How many scandals can New York Governor David Paterson juggle at once? The New York State Commission on Public Integrity said Wednesday that Paterson broke the law last fall when he procured free tickets from the Yankees to the opening game of the World Series. The commission says that Paterson then falsely testified under oath that he had intended to pay for the tickets and that he only paid after inquiries from the media. David Johnson—the Paterson aide at the center of a domestic-abuse dispute—was also involved in obtaining the tickets and attended the game.

It’s the last best chance for health-care reform: President Obama pitched his health-care plan to Congress and the American people on Wednesday. “The proposal I’ve put forward gives Americans more control over their health care by holding insurance companies more accountable,” he said in a televised address. He stressed that his Americans would be able to keep their current plans and doctors under the new system. He also touted four Republican ideas he added to the plan after last week’s bipartisan summit. “I ask Congress to finish its work,” Obama intoned, “and I look forward to signing this reform into law.” He hopes for a bill on his desk in the "next few weeks."

From the department of "no one was supposed to see this" comes the Republican National Committee's internal pitch to its fundraisers. A PowerPoint presentation, obtained by Politico, makes it clear that the committee's strategy for raising money this election cycle will be fear-mongering. The committee says its campaign should focus on a promise to "save the country from trending toward socialism." Helpful advice included is that wealthy "ego-driven" donors can be seduced by offers of access and, what they termed "tchochkes." Another gem from the presentation is the page headed "The Evil Empire." On it, President Obama is made to look like the Joker from Batman, Nancy Pelosi is depicted as Cruella DeVille, and Harry Reid as Scooby-Doo. RNC Chairman Michael Steele's office has already distanced itself from the pitch. "Obviously, the chairman disagrees with the language and finds the use of such imagery to be unacceptable," committee communications director Doug Heye told Politico.

More bad news for Nancy Pelosi: Representative Eric Massa (D-NY) will resign. Adding to New York politics woes, a male colleague has also charged Massa with sexual harassment. The news comes amid Gov. David Paterson's growing scandals, the latest of which involves breaking ethics laws for accepting free tickets to the World Series. Massa denies the allegations, saying on a conference call that he is retiring after dealing with a recurrence of cancer last year. Massa was elected for the first time in 2008 and is married with two children. "When someone makes a decision to leave Congress, everybody says everything. I have health issues. I'll talk about it [later],” he told Politico. Massa represented New York’s most Republican district. Consequently, it’s expected to be competitive in November. He is the 15th House Democrat to announce retirement plans and the 11th to leave a competitive district. Nineteen House Republicans are also stepping aside. 

Sarah Palin could be yet again reinventing herself to reap the benefits of her 15 months of fame. After sportscaster, governor, vice-presidential candidate, pundit, and public speaker, she may be trying her hand as a television producer. Entertainment Weekly is reporting that she and reality-TV show producer Mark Burnett have been holding meetings with network executives to pitch a docudrama about Alaska and The Live Feed says the Palin family would appear on-camera. One source described the potential show a “ Planet Earth-type look” at the state she once ran.

Southern Taiwan was shaken by a 6.4-magnitude earthquake Thursday morning that damaged buildings and a few major bridges. No deaths or injuries were reported. The epicenter was in a mountainous region about 25 miles northwest of Taitung, on the southeast coast, and 40 miles east of Tainan and Kaohsiung on the southwest coast. It was the second natural disaster to hit the region in seven months, after Typhoon Morakot killed hundreds of people in August with two feet of rain and deadly mudslides. Meanwhile, Chile was briefly on alert this afternoon when it was hit by a 5.9-magnitude aftershock, four days after its latest major earthquake. But no injuries or damage were reported and there is no tsunami warning in effect.

Starbucks is caught in the crossfire of a debate, of all things, on gun control. Ever since it denied a request from gun-control activists to ban guns from all of its coffee shops, it has been fielding questions and issuing statements on the matter, refusing to budge. Now, Starbucks says that these groups are simply using the Starbucks brand to give themselves more visibility. "As the public debate continues, we are asking all interested parties to refrain from putting Starbucks or our partners [employees] into the middle of this divisive issue," Starbucks said in a statement Wednesday morning. Meanwhile, activists are still pushing the company with petitions and running into further opposition from pro-gun groups.

Pakistan's military has captured an extensive network of 150 caves believed to be al Qaeda’s nerve center near the border with Afghanistan. The caves, which may have once housed Ayman al Zawahiri, the terrorist group’s second-in-command, contained stolen U.S. Army uniforms and a stash of weapons, including bazookas, grenades, ammunition, and guns. Video footage showed blankets and pillows on the caves’ floors. The capture of the caves, near the village of Damadola, marks the final stages of Pakistan's Operation Sherdi, which began in 2008. The seizure was hailed as a major victory, but some outside observers are skeptical. One British analyst said it was too early to tell what it would amount to, and the military has been careful to orchestrate the press coverage.

With one New York governor fighting a losing battle against political scandals, it’s time to revisit an old one. Eliot Spitzer’s senior adviser and old friend, Lloyd Constantine, is publishing his book next Tuesday on the Spitzer governorship, Journal of the Plague Year—the first look inside since Spitzer resigned two years ago. Constantine, who no longer appears to be on speaking terms with Spitzer, tells the story of a temperamental man whose life quickly spun out of control in his final days in office. At one time, Constantine says, with Spitzer weeping to him on the phone, he worried about the governor committing suicide. At another, he even suggested Spitzer enter sexual rehabilitation as a means of clinging to the governorship. But Spitzer is already dismissing the book’s legitimacy. “What Mr. Constantine has written is little more than a self-serving and largely inaccurate interpretation of events mixed with unfounded speculation,” he said in a statement.

It may not be the best recipe for a successful marriage, but Mo'Nique says it works. She and her husband, Sidney Hicks, have an open marriage, though she claims she has never cheated on him. "Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes," she told Barbara Walters for her 29th annual, and last, Oscars special. "That's not a deal-breaker. That's not something that would make us say, 'Pack your things and let's end the marriage.'" Telling Walters more than she might have wanted to know, the Oscar nominee also added that Hicks loves her famously unshaved legs. "I tried shaving one time," Mo'Nique said, "And it was so uncomfortable and painful. I said never again would I do that to myself."

Twenty-six-foot waves slammed onto a cruise ship off the northeast coast of Spain Wednesday, killing two passengers and injuring six more. The victims were identified as a German and an Italian man. The Louis Majesty, a Cypriot-owned vessel, was on its way to Genoa, Italy, on a 12-day Mediterranean cruise, but made an emergency stop in Barcelona, with more than 1,300 passengers on board. Winds of more than 60 miles per hour had been battering the seas where the ship was traveling.

John Edwards once had his eyes on the White House; he may end up in prison instead. A federal grand jury is set to indict former presidential contender John Edwards for violating campaign-finance laws in paying his mistress, Rielle Hunter, the National Enquirer reports. The tabloid, which is up for a Pulitzer Prize for its dogged reporting on Edwards, says that Elizabeth Edwards “could help send [her estranged husband] to jail.” The grand jury has been meeting since April 2009. A source told the Enquirer, "John is terrified that he's going to be indicted.”

Jessica Simpson proved the old adage "don't get mad, get even" true today—by going on Oprah. John Mayer was ostracized by the public for a revealing, boneheaded interview he gave to Playboy last month, during which he said sex with ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson was like "napalm" and compared her to "crack cocaine." After initially telling Oprah she wasn't angry, Simpson backtracked, saying she was "a little bit angry" about his kiss-and-tell session. She joked "I could have been worse," and that her phone was "ringing off the hook" because of his positive comments, but more seriously said she didn't accept his written apology. Simpson also touched on the media's fascination with her weight (a topic that coincides with her new reality show The Price of Beauty), saying the fact that she was famous last year for gaining 10 pounds was "ridiculous." And those infamous "Mom Jeans" that sparked name-calling across the Internet? Simpson said they were a size 4.

Marriage is a possibility for all couples in the nation’s capital as of Wednesday: The Washington D.C. Superior Court accepted marriage licenses from gay couples for the first time. When the court opened at 8:30, 45 couples were waiting outside, and by 9 the line had grown to 60 couples. Processing of the licenses takes three days, however, so next Tuesday, March 9, will be the earliest day for same-sex marriage ceremonies.

Who said the Swiss were cold fish? A Swiss company is now marketing extra-small condoms, called Hotshots, and targeting the market of sexually active 12- to 14-year-olds. The snug-fitting condoms were released after a Swiss study found that more boys were engaging in risky sexual behavior at that age than in the 1990s. “They have more of a tendency not to protect themselves,” said the researcher who headed the study, of 12-year-old boys. “They do not have a very developed sexual knowledge.” Though the Swiss age of consent is 16, family-planning groups and the Swiss AIDS Federation offered particularly vocal support for the product.

Iraqi militants have stepped up their game in anticipation of Sunday's national elections, The New York Times reports, with twice as many people dead from violence in February as in the previous month. On Wednesday, a series of three bomb blasts killed at least 30 people and wounded 45 in the city Baquba, northeast of Baghdad. At least 15 of the victims were members of security forces. The attacks included two car-bombs aimed at government buildings, and one attack on a hospital where victims of the earlier blasts were being treated. On election day, officials plan to stem potential violence by banning cars and issuing curfews.

Last night's last-minute shuffle, where the male semifinalists performed in lieu of the women, was because contestant Crystal Bowersox was taken to the hospital Tuesday and unable to perform. Though it's still up in the air whether Bowersox will be well enough to compete in tonight's performance, the show will go on and the women's semifinal will air tonight. No contestant has ever taken a medical leave from the show, and there is speculation that voters can weigh in based on rehearsal footage—or even resort to disqualification. There is no word yet on what is wrong with Bowersox, though according to the Los Angeles Times and Us Weekly, her hospital visit could be linked to her diabetes.

Jeffrey Sarver, who served as an Army master sergeant and bomb-disposal expert in Iraq, plans to sue the makers of The Hurt Locker because he says the film’s main character is based on him. Sarver also claims he coined the term “the hurt locker,” and that the main character’s call sign, “Blaster One,” was his in Iraq. The film’s screenwriter, Mark Boal, was embedded with Sarver’s unit, and Boal adapted the article he wrote for Playboy for the film. The Hurt Locker’s American distributor issued a statement saying it wants “a quick resolution to the claims made by Master Sgt. Sarver.” The statement continues, “We have no doubt that Master Sgt. Sarver served his country with honor and commitment, risking his life for a greater good, but we distributed the film based on a fictional screenplay written by Mark Boal.”

Here’s a surprise: Some Mullahs in Afghanistan have begun promoting birth control, and it’s catching on. “Use of the pill, condoms, and injected forms of birth control rose to 27 percent over eight months in three rural areas—up to half the women in one area—once the benefits were explained one-on-one by health workers,” reports the Associated Press. Afghanistan averages more than six babies per women and it also has the second-highest maternal death rate. So far, 37 mullahs have endorsed contraceptives, and they are also using the Koran to encourage women to increase the space between childbirths.

The Los Angeles Police Department has apologized to the Kennedy family for including the shirt, tie, and jacket that Robert Kennedy wore when he was murdered as part of a homicide exhibit in Las Vegas. The LAPD apparently never asked the Kennedy’s for permission to use the items, which were included in the 2010 California Homicide Investigators Association Conference. Other items were from the Black Dahlia slaying, Marilyn Monroe’s death, the O.J. Simpson case, and the Manson family murders.

Tiger Woods is trying to shape up, emotionally and physically. According to an unnamed Associated Press source, Woods returned to his Florida home on Saturday after completing a week of family and marriage counseling with estranged wife Elin Nordegren in Arizona. According to the source, Woods hasn't decided when to return to the professional golf circuit, but he's started training again, including a fitness routine and his first major practice in 15 weeks. He has reportedly been hitting balls on the practice range at the nearby Isleworth club. It's unlikely that Tiger will make it to next week's World Golf Championship at Doral, and his next chance to play after that is the Arnold Palmer Invitational PGA Tour that begins on March 25.

Two air-traffic controllers have been suspended after a boy was allowed to direct several takeoffs and landings at John F. Kennedy Airport in New York. One of the controllers brought his son to work February 17—and let his kid do his job. "Jet Blue 171, clear for takeoff," the young boy says, according to audio recordings from LiveATC.net. "This is what you get, guys, when the kids are out of school," his father told a pilot. The pilots were clearly amused. One responded, "Wish I could bring my kid to work,” and later told the boy he did an “awesome job.” The Federal Aviation Administration is taking the incident very seriously.

For better or worse—actually, definitely worse—the world seems to have revolved around New York politics as of late: David Paterson, Harold Ford Jr., and now Charlie Rangel, the ethically challenged chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee. Rangel announced Wednesday morning that he taking a leave of absence from the chairmanship after the House ethics committee found he violated House rules by taking trips to the Carribean in 2007 and 2008 paid for by corporate sponsors.

Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY) accepted a deal to end his filibuster of a bill that would extend unemployment and COBRA benefits after pressure from both parties. Bunning had protested that "pay-go"—a rule that calls for each spending increase to be offset by a cut elsewhere—was not being applied to the bill, which would cost $10 billion to extend benefits an extra 30 days. Though he had much support from conservative activists, and nothing to lose thanks to his decision not to seek reelection this fall, Bunning agreed to a proposal offered by Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY). The deal allows for Bunning to vote once on an amendment that would pay for the bill. Bunning was offered the proposal Thursday, but rejected it, saying it wouldn't pass. The Senate approved the measure 78-19 Tuesday night, but Bunning's amendment failed. The senator was also given a chance to vote twice on amendments to a bigger bill that would extend benefits one year and is currently under consideration.

When Blackwater security guards killed 17 Iraqi civilians in 2007, everyone blamed the company, but the State Department’s hands may be dirty too, The New York Times reports. In testimony made public on Tuesday, Kenneth Kohl, the lead prosecutor in the case against Blackwater, said he had evidence that the inquiry into the affair was tainted. Among his claims: A State Department security agent at the Baghdad embassy "expressed concern” that his coworkers were handling evidence in a way they hoped would help Blackwater; the five Blackwater guards involved in the civilian shootings described the incident as "murder in cold blood" to the Blackwater management, who never reported the statements to the State Department; U.S. military officials told prosecutors that State Department investigators had badgered Iraqi witnesses; and the diplomatic security agents who initially investigated the affair left out crucial details from their report on a witness. Blackwater, which has since changed its name to Xe Services, refrained from commenting on the affair.

Michael Jackson's family seems to have inherited his penchant for serving as paparazzi fodder. The Associated Press reports that child services is investigating the presence of a stun gun at the home where the late singer's three children live with his mother, Katherine Jackson. Apparently, Jermaine Jackson's 13-year-old son Jaafar, who also lives in the home, ordered the device and tested it on a piece of paper in the bathroom, according to Katherine's representative. When Katherine heard the noise, she found and confiscated the stun gun. The rumor mill says it isn't so simple— according to TMZ, some employees contend that there were two stun guns, and that contrary to the representative's report, Jaafar pointed the device at Blanket and Paris.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry is a big step closer to holding on to his job, having defeated popular Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison in the Republican primary. Perry won 51 percent of the vote to Hutchinson’s 31 percent, and pulled a big lead over Tea Party favorite Debra Medina. The two have been rivals for two decades, since he was elected agriculture commissioner and she state treasurer in 1990. Though Hutchison began her campaign 20 points ahead, Perry intensified his anti-federal government rhetoric—even talking about Texan secession—and recaptured the lead. Houston Mayor Bill White won the Democratic nomination. White was the clear favorite in that race after several opponents dropped out early (including Kinky Friedman); White’s toughest competition was in hair-care millionaire Farouk Shami, who dropped $8.5 million of his own cash into the race.

How fearful is the Academy of James Cameron? According to New York Magazine, Bill Mechanic, who is producing the Oscar telecast, has yanked a Sacha Baron Cohen sketch over fears that the Avatar director might get so angry that he'd walk out of the ceremony. An unnamed insider said that Baron Cohen intended to appear onstage as a female Na'vi, whose statements would be translated by Ben Stiller. As the sketch progressed, Baron Cohen would become increasingly angry with Stiller's obviously false translations, then reveal that "she" was pregnant with James Cameron's love child before confronting the director Jerry Springer style. The sketch was cut, as another unnamed insider put it, because "Cameron isn't known to be, shall we say, 'self-deprecating.'"

Another day, another health-care announcement: President Obama officially unveils his final health-care package Wednesday, a day after he announced he would incorporate four Republican ideas into the final package. Jake Tapper says Obama will endorse the use of reconciliation in the Senate if Republicans deny the chamber an up-or-down vote. All eyes will then turn to the House, where health care will live or die by a razor-thin margin—The Wall Street Journal says it has found six Democratic congressmen who voted against the initial House health-care bill who now say they are undecided; the Associated Press says it has talked to nine such congressmen.

The Hurt Locker co-producer Nicolas Chartier will be banned from the Academy Awards ceremony as a penalty for writing an email that ended up being forwarded a few too many times: He urged friends to urge Oscar voters to pick his film, not Avatar, for Best Picture. Academy rules forbid "casting a negative or derogatory light on a competing film." If The Hurt Locker does take the prize, Chartier will receive his statue sometime after the March 7 ceremony. The Los Angeles Times says denying a nominee entrance to the show is “virtually unprecedented.”

California police have found the body of Chelsea King, the 17-year-old girl who went missing last week, near the shores of San Diego’s Lake Hodges. King disappeared after going for a jog. Two days ago, police arrested John Albert Gardner III, a convicted sex offender whose DNA was found on King’s clothing, which was discovered near where police think she was abducted. Gardner was arrested in 2000 for committing lewd and lascivious acts on a child under 14 and is also now suspected of connection to the disappearance of another San Diego teenager.

After a meeting with Harry Reid and other key senators, Senator Tom Harkin (D-IA) announced Wednesday that Senate Democrats have decided to pass health care via reconciliation in the Senate. The process will be a bit convoluted: The House will have to vote on the Senate bill that passed in December; after that, the Senate will vote through reconciliation on changes that it has agreed to with the House. “The first step is with Speaker Pelosi,” Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) said. It’s unclear exactly how the Senate can back up its guarantee to the House on changes in the bill. “I don’t know what the gesture will be but it will be a convincing gesture” Durbin said.

Opinion is split on Rahm Emanuel: Liberals say he led Obama astray, while centrists say Obama hasn’t listened to him enough—particularly on health care, where Rahm is said to have advocated a more incrementalist approach. But a scoop from Noam Scheiber in The New Republic cuts across both groups’ assumptions: Last summer, Rahm encouraged President Obama to find a way to bypass Max Baucus’ Senate Finance Committee to get health-care reform on the Senate floor. Obama chose to let Baucus negotiate—a process that took months (and, if it had gone more quickly, Congress would likely have passed health-care reform before Scott Brown’s election through a wrench in the wheels). Other news in the piece: Rahm wanted Obama to make Larry Summers Treasury Secretary, and he was not allowed to choose his own deputies.