On the eve of the Israeli prime minister's trip to the White House, the Israeli government on Monday announced details of its more relaxed Gaza blockade restrictions. Yossi Gal, the director general of the Israeli foreign ministry, and senior military official Maj. Gen. Eitan Dangot outlined a list of goods that would not be permitted into the Gaza Strip (previously, only items that were specifically approved were allowed into the region). The contraband list includes all weapons and "dual-use" items, or goods that can be used for both civilian needs and terrorist or military purposes—examples include chemicals, certain fertilizers, and other items like hunting knives, optical equipment, diving equipment, parachutes and gliders. Meanwhile, Turkey, long one of Israel's closest allies in the Muslim world, has said it will cut ties with the Jewish state unless it apologizes for the May 31 flotilla raid that killed nine Turkish activists. Avigdor Lieberman, Israel’s foreign minister, said during a trip to Latvia that Israel had no intention of apologizing.

At the end of her five-day tour of Ukraine, Poland, Azerbaijan, Armenia, and Georgia, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reaffirmed her commitment to those nations and asserted that they will not be forgotten as Washington seeks to deepen ties with Moscow. She told the people of Georgia: “We can walk and chew gum at the same time.” Late last week, Clinton warned against repressive governments worldwide—such as Russia, Zimbabwe, Congo, Ethiopia, Egypt, and China—stating that "we must be wary of the steel vise in which many governments are slowly crushing civil society and the human spirit," and adding that the U.S. will continue to financially support NGOs in the region and defend persecuted journalists. She also sharply rebuked Russia for its affront against Georgia.

God save her: Three days after America celebrated its independence from the British, Queen Elizabeth II will descend upon the Big Apple, her first visit in 34 years. The 84-year-old monarch, accompanied by her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, will lay a wreath at ground zero and honor the victims of 2001's World Trade Center attacks. They’ll also visit the British Garden of Remembrance in nearby Hanover Square, to pay tribute to the 67 British citizens who died on that day. The queen will deliver her first address to the United Nations in more than 50 years, a speech that will include some of her own thoughts and insights, but will be composed by government officials. Her itinerary is ambitious, considering the queen will be in New York City for a total of five hours. The stopover follows her nine-day visit to Canada.

The oil spill has officially messed with Texas: Over the holiday weekend, beaches along the Bolivar Peninsula and in Galveston were peppered with balls ranging in size from a dime to a golf ball, along with several gallons of oil. Labs tests have confirmed that the oil that hit Crystal Beach on the peninsula is, indeed, from the Deepwater Horizon spill—though it doesn’t appear to have traveled 400 miles in the ocean (the distance between the two sites), which leads some investigators to think it may have been carried to the coast on the side of a ship. Officials are still working to confirm the source of the oil found in Galveston. With the oil's arrived, crude from the Deepwater Horizon blast has now reached all Gulf states.

Betcha these folks are kicking themselves right now. In a 2007 memo from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, investigators characterized large-scale oil spills from proposed Gulf drilling projects as "low-probability events" that wouldn't likely affect Gulf Coast animal populations, including brown pelicans and sea turtles. The memo also shows that the Minerals Management Service—recently renamed the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation and Enforcement—wasn’t the only agency to underestimate the environmental impact of deepwater drilling. In addition, the Wildlife Service didn't challenge the MMS' evaluation of possible dangers from 11 Gulf gas and oil lease sales, The New York Times reports, one of which was the well the Deepwater Horizon rig was drilling before it exploded on April 20.

That American workers face the worst job market since the Great Depression is old news. What shouldn’t be old news, however, is the focus of Paul Krugman’s op-ed in The New York Times today: that unemployment benefits were not extended by the Senate going into last weekend, despite there currently being five job seekers for every job opening. “We’re facing a coalition of the heartless, the clueless and the confused,” writes Krugman. Translation: Republicans, who try to block anything President Obama wants to do, are coming across as heartless; Sharron Angle, the Republican Senate candidate for Nevada, who continues to argue that the unemployed are deliberately choosing to stay out of work, is clueless; and almost everyone else appears confused about whether benefits reduce the incentive to seek new work. Krugman tries to clear up the confusion. “Cutting off benefits to the unemployed will make them even more desperate for work,” he writes, “but they can’t take jobs that aren’t there.”

What ever happened to "you're welcome?" In an essay on Salon, Matt Zoller Seitz takes the phrase "no problem" to task—arguing that it’s supplanted "you're welcome" and "implies an imposition on the part of the person saying, 'Thank you."' With "no problem," the power dynamic, as Seitz sees it, is as follows: "'No problem' translates as: ‘What I did for you was not the sacrifice you so charmingly believe it to be. I hereby release you to get on with your day, blessedly free of guilt.'" Our transition from "you're welcome" to "no problem" may be attributed to a rise in the number of citizens whose language derives from a Romance language, he argues. "'The traditional Romance language response is something like 'De nada'/'It's nothing,' i.e., ‘What little I did for you is not worthy of acknowledgment.' In both cases, the thankee is trying to relieve the thanker of any sense of obligation."

Is it hot enough for you? It very well will be in the Northeast, as a heat wave sweeps into the region. The National Weather Service has issued an excessive-heat advisory for various Northeastern cities, citing triple-digit temperatures that could pose "a dangerous situation." An advisory has been issued for Philadelphia until Wednesday evening, and sweltering temps in New York City may not break until after 6 p.m. Tuesday. Additional advisories may be issued for New Jersey, northeastern Maryland, and central and southern Delaware. Tuesday will see the most scorching temps, with highs between 100 to 102 degrees and heat index values up to 106.

We didn’t know Libya had such good Hospice care. Abdelbaset Ali Mohmet al-Megrahi, the only person convicted of the 1988 bombing of a U.S. Pan Am jumbo jet over Lockerbie, Scotland, that killed 270, was predicted to die of cancer within three months of his release in August last year—a release that provoked outrage. (In Scotland, prisoners are eligible for release in certain cases if they have fewer than three months to live.) “There was a 50 percent chance that he would die in three months,” said Professor Karol Sikora, the dean of medicine at Buckingham University who was paid to assess al-Megrahi's medical condition, “but there was also a 50 percent chance that he would live longer.” Sikora denied he came under any pressure from the Libyan government, but admitted that it’s “embarrassing that [al-Megrahi]’s gone on for so long.” Sikora says it’s possible, though unlikely, that al-Megrahi could live for 10 or 20 more years. This month, al-Megrahi was released from an emergency-care unit in Tripoli.

When Larry King hangs up his suspenders, his retirement will mark not only the conclusion of his landmark career at CNN, but as The Washington Post’s Tom Shales argues, the end of the even-tempered gentleman on television talk shows. Shales eulogizes King's unique character and his show as "an increasingly lonely outpost of humane civility in a mephitic menagerie of hotheads, saber rattlers, cretins and crackpots." Among them, he seems to fear, will be King’s successor—Piers Morgan—whom he calls “snitty” and “the poor man’s David Frost,” doubting that he’ll be as “nice” as his predecessor. Shales also calls out CNN execs for their "quixotic" booking of guests, and alleges that the network is focused on moving away from the news in general. And he predicts that the next incarnation of the show will exhibit the "carping, contentious talk that thrives on competitors Fox News and MSNBC."

Now here’s a fairytale romance worthy of a sitcom: This weekend, everyone’s favorite fictional receptionist, Jenna Fischer of The Office, married actor and writer Lee Kirk in a private ceremony. The couple got engaged last summer in Europe. Fischer’s first marriage was to writer James Gunn, but apparently Kirk and Gunn are on friendly terms—Kirk starred in Gunn’s Web series PG Porn, billed as “for people who like everything about porn ... except the sex.” Rainn Wilson was moved enough by his co-star’s marriage to tweet about it: “Went to the most beautiful wedding I've ever experienced. Total Love, Jenna Fischer & Lee Kirk!"

According to Icelandic broadcaster RUV, authorities dug up the corpse of U.S. chess champion Bobby Fischer's body on Sunday, to determine if he’s the father of a 9-year-old Filipino girl—and whether she’s heir to his $2 million fortune. A doctor, priest, and local sheriff were present. After DNA samples were taken, the body was reburied. In 2008, Fischer died of kidney failure in Iceland, and he didn’t leave a will. So far, Fischer’s two nephews and a Japanese woman with whom he lived have made claims on his cash; now, the 9-year-old Jinky, whose mother Marilyn Young says she and Fischer met at a tennis club in the Philippines, has entered the race. Young says that Fischer and Jinky spoke by phone every day since parting ways in 2005. Under Icelandic law, Fischer’s child would be entitled to two-thirds of his legacy.

Sounds like she really took the Bond-girl thing to heart: Anna Chapman, the redhead alleged Russian spy, figures to have kept 007’s hands full, if her ex-husband is to be believed. Alex Chapman, to whom she was married for four years, claims she loved to pose nude. On top of that, Alex says, the couple engaged in mile-high airplane bathroom sex and experimented with toys in S&M sessions. Perhaps not so coincidentally, Anna even liked to pose as a KGB interrogator as she wielded a whip. “Anna was great in bed!” he told Britain’s News of the World.

The Brazilian national soccer team has fired its head coach, Dunga, and his entire staff after the team’s disappointing early exit from the World Cup. Brazil lost 2-1 in the quarterfinals to the Netherlands. Hopefully the new coach, who will be appointed before the end of the month, turns things around quickly: The 2014 World Cup will be held in Brazil, the country’s first since 1950.

Sergei Gorbunov is helping his dachshund Boniface do something perhaps no dog has done before: deep-sea scuba diving. Gorbunov, a professional diver in the Pacific Coast city of Vladivostok, Russia, had a diving suit—helmet included—made for the dog and is teaching him the ins and outs of scuba. In a recent demonstration, the dog emitted some high-pitched whines while submerged. “Underwater, I don't think he experiences any stress,” Gorbunov said.

Gaga, ooh-la-la: On Friday chameleon-esque pop heavyweight Lady Gaga became the first living person to amass more than 10 million Facebook fans, or so says Famecount.com, a British group that measures online popularity. As of Sunday, the 24-year-old singer boasted 10,333,791 fans, eclipsing President Barack Obama's 9,670,042. Gaga thanked “all the little monsters” who shot her to the top in a video posted on the popular social-networking site. She still has a way to go to reach Michael Jackson's 14 million Facebook fanbase, or those of Texas Holdem Poker, which has a whopping 20 million admirers.

It was called “ a form of Chinese-water torture” and “ what should be the death knell for M. Night Shyamalan’s career,” and none of that mattered a lick: The Last Airbender raked in $53.2 million over the weekend, finishing second in the box office behind Twilight: Eclipse. The New York Times credits its success to “the power of the Nickelodeon brand.” (The film was produced by Paramount’s Nickelodeon division and was adapted from a Nickelodeon cartoon.)

Nigeria’s national soccer team had the worst showing in their World Cup group after failing to win any of their three games in South Africa. And it only got worse from there: The government, led by President Goodluck Jonathan, threatened last week to ban the team from all future competition, just ahead of a FIFA deadline. FIFA officials, who threatened to suspend or expel the Nigerian Football Federation due to government interference, however, changed all that. It was announced today that the government has shifted their decision and will allow the team to compete. A statement on the NFF’s website said that the president “graciously rescinded last Wednesday’s decision to withdraw Nigerian national football teams from FIFA/CAF competitions.”

In a day full of crashes, French cyclist Sylvain Chavanel pulled ahead from 87th place and won the second stage of the Tour de France for his Quick Step team. Swiss rider Fabian Cancellara, who went into the stage as the leader, ended nearly four minutes behind, alongside Lance Armstrong and last year’s winner Alberto Contador. In a day filled with crashes, Armstrong and two of his teammates were among the day’s casualties, "Riding downhill was almost like ice skating," said Armstrong’s manager. "Almost half of the peloton crashed today. Lance is OK. He's got a wound on his hip and his elbow.” Seven-time champion Armstrong is now in fifth place. Chavanel described his emotions today as “pure happiness.”

What’s a little oil spill between business partners? BP has kept its government contracts with the Defense Department, despite the Gulf disaster. In 2009, it was the largest supplier of fuel to the Pentagon and it has at least $980 million in contracts to supply military fuel in 2010. Even before the Gulf disaster, the EPA was looking into cutting off BP from all federal contracts because of a 2006 oil spill in Alaska and a 2005 explosion at a Texas refinery. There are also numerous reports that BP is looking into foreign investors to help offset costs for cleaning up the spill, which skyrocketed this week to hit $3 billion. Meanwhile, oil-skimming boats are sidelined in the Gulf once again because of rough waters.

Last week, 11 Russian spies were arrested in the U.S. in an alleged spy ring plot. This week? Xue Feng, a 44-year-old Chinese-born American geologist, accused of stealing state secrets, was sentenced to eight years in jail in China—a “very heavy” sentence, according to his lawyer. Feng was also fined 200,000 yuan ($30,000). Detained in 2007 after negotiating the sale of an oil industry database, Feng said the information he acquired was publicly available. During his time in detention, Feng claims, he was tortured, the interrogators burning his arms with cigarettes and hitting him on the head with an ashtray. The U.S. embassy issued a statement saying it was dismayed and urged China to grant Feng “humanitarian release and immediately deport him.”

A sign, perhaps, that further public stimulus money is not forthcoming? The New York Times observes that several retailers are essentially devising their own stimulus measures—promotions and deals that they’re hoping will spur customer spending. Sam’s Club is facilitating loans of up to $25,000 for its shoppers; Target is offering 5 percent off to people with a Target credit card; Toys “R” Us has created a holiday-savings fund; and Office Depot and Staples are giving products away. “A lot of the government programs have come to an end,” says one analyst, “So retailers are taking it upon themselves to do everything they can to get the consumer to spend, even opening up their own wallets to give money back to the consumer.” Sam’s Club does not expect to make much money off of its loans, but hopes that they contribute to a general spending thaw.