United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon on Thursday condemned the “brutal repression” in Syria in the year-long crackdown by President Bashar al-Assad’s regime. The U.N. humanitarian chief said on Thursday that technical experts will be joining a Syrian “government-led” mission to hot-bed cities including Homs, Damascus, Daraa, and Hama. Marking the one-year anniversary of the beginning of the uprising, Ban expressed “solidarity” with the Syrian people and he “appealed to the international community to offer its determined and unified support to stop the bloodshed.” Meanwhile, Assad’s supporters held rallies across the country, including one in Damascus, where Assad call the uprising a “conspiracy.”

British Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife, Samantha, visited the Sept. 11 memorial in New York City on Thursday. They were joined by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg and American citizen Charles Wolf, whose wife died during the World Trade Center attacks. The Camerons touched the bronze plaques and stared into the reflecting pool after they visited One World Trade Center, the new skyscraper under construction at the site. Later on Thursday, Cameron traveled to Newark, N.J., where he toured businesses that have gotten a boost from local government. Before flying back to Britain late Thursday, Cameron is scheduled to visit the New York Stock Exchange and then some students at New York University.

The U.S. sergeant who is suspected of going on a shooting rampage in an Afghan village that left 16 dead was under the influence of alcohol and experiencing stress caused by his fourth combat tour and marital tensions related to deployment, a senior American official told The New York Times. The official said that with the combination of these things, the soldier just “snapped.” The suspect’s lawyer said that he had also been upset by a casualty in his unit. He was a 38-year-old father of two on his first tour of Afghanistan, having served three tours in Iraq. He had joined the military within a week after the September 11 terrorist attacks. The report paints a more detailed and troubled picture of the suspect’s mental state. Meanwhile, his transfer to the United States has sparked diplomatic tensions with the United States and Kuwait and Afghan President Karzai has called for U.S. troops to back off.

U.S. stocks leaped Thursday as the Standard & Poor’s 500 hit its highest point in nearly four years. The surge came on reports that markets and manufacturing are performing stronger than expected. And while the S&P 500 crested near 1400, the Dow Jones rose 36 points in afternoon trading, keeping the industrial average on track for its seventh consecutive gain. The latest reports on the economy show that the number of workers filing for unemployment benefits has dropped, hitting levels not seen in the last four years. Taken together, analysts say, these are all indicators that the job market is improving and that the economy is moving steadily, if slowly, toward recovery.

President Obama wants you to join him in a 17-minute journey on “The Road We’ve Traveled.” The president’s campaign released its documentary Thursday night on a YouTube livestream and several campaign office screenings. The main pitch: the nation is on an economic upswing. With news clips, interviews, and official footage, the film shows that Obama inherited a country in trouble, made bold reforms, and has the United States ready for a comeback. Directed by Davis Guggenheim, who made An Inconvenient Truth, and narrated by Tom Hanks, the documentary is slick, but functions like a campaign advertisement.  A whopping three minutes spotlights Obama’s support of the Detroit automakers bailout. (Hint: Looks as though Obama knows who his Republican opponent will be.) Watch it here.

Seattle defense attorney John Henry Browne said on Thursday he will be representing the American soldier suspected of killing 16 civilians in Afghanistan. Browne said he talked to the soldier, based out of Joint Base Lewis-McChord, on the phone and has made arrangements to meet with him soon, possibly in Kuwait. The soldier has been out of Afghanistan and in an undisclosed location. Browne said the soldier is “from here, and he knows who I am.” Browne has represented a number of high-profile defendants.

Here comes Joe Biden! The vice president was dispatched to the battleground state of Ohio today for a fiery campaign speech that simultaneously attacked the Republicans’ presidential field and propped up Obama. Electing Rick Santorum or Mitt Romney, the veep said, would “bankrupt the middle class once again ... They’re about protecting the privileged sector.” President Obama, meanwhile, has “steel in his spine” that salvaged the auto industry and saved one million jobs. The fiery speech was just one part of the Dems’ 2012 outreach today: the Obama campaign is also poised to release a 17-minute narrative on Obama’s first term.

The former Illinois governor, about to commence a 14-year sentence for corruption charges, was not going to go down without a fight. Rod Blagojevich’s black SUV missed the entrance to the Denver prison that he will soon call home. Was it a sudden attempt to thwart the legal system and escape? Not according to Blago’s lawyer, who said that they just got lost and then went to get lunch. The scene: A Freddy’s steak burger fast food joint. The situation: A final meal for a free man. The final thing someone said to him in the parking lot: “You’re the guy from The Apprentice.”

Life’s short, especially for these little guys. According to a new study published in the journal Science, a young male fruit fly is more likely to seek out food spiked with alcohol after being rejected by a mate. It’s not uncommon for fruit flies to develop a taste for the philosophic wine, but flies whose passions went unreturned caused them to act much like humans do in seeking out alcohol. Male flies that have difficulty mating are more likely to seek a social lubricant than those who scooped the female Drosophilia melanogaster of their dreams right off her adorable segmented legs. “It’s the first time we have shown this link between a social experience that involves reward and a drug-related behavior” in the flies, one researcher said.

Russell Brand probably wishes he were the one who got away right now. The British comedian was arrested Thursday for allegedly snatching a cell phone after a paparazzo snapped a photo of Brand on his cell phone. According to police in New Orleans, an arrest warrant was issued for Katy Perry’s ex after the actor allegedly grabbed a photographer’s cell phone and hurled it through a window—an offense that would carry a $700 fine. Brand was seemingly unruffled by the incident, tweeting Thursday, “Since Steve Jobs died I cannot bear to see anyone use an iPhone irreverently, what I did was a tribute to his memory.”

Bruce Springsteen’s latest album, “Wrecking Ball,” headed  the Billboard Top 200 on Thursday, knocking Adele from her ten-week run at the top slot. Springsteen’s album, in its first week on sale, sold 196,000 copies while Adele’s “21” slipped to the second spot with 195,000 copies sold. This is Springsteen’s tenth top album, tying him with Elvis Presley for the third-most top albums in history, behind only the Beatles and Jay-Z. “Wrecking Ball” is the 17th Springsteen album to make the top ten.

The battle over President Obama’s contraception mandate is just winding down, but Congress looks set to divide along party and gender lines once again. This time the issue is the Violence Against Women Act. The legislation would extend grant programs to law enforcement and shelters for battered women, expanding free legal assistance to victims of domestic violence. It would also allow more abused illegal immigrants to claim temporary visas, and would extend programs to same-sex couples, two aspects that Republicans object to. Democratic women plan to march to the Senate floor today and demand passage of the bill. “I am furious,” said Senator Maria Cantwell, a Democrat from Washington, speaking about the Republican Party’s opposition to contraception and now domestic violence legislation. “We’re mad, and we’re tired of it.”

Luck has appeared to run out for HBO's Luck. Following a third horse death on the set of racetrack-set drama, as first reported Tuesday by TMZ, premium cable network HBO today announced that it has decided to stop production on the low-rated show, citing animal-safety concerns. Luck, created by Michael Mann and David Milch, had already been renewed for a second season, despite meager ratings. “The two of us loved this series, loved the cast, crew and writers," Milch and Mann wrote in a joint statement. "This has been a tremendous collaboration and one that we plan to continue in the future.”

And you thought the Republican presidential nomination race was intense. The Communist Party in China has dropped one of the nation’s most ambitious—and flamboyant—leaders. Bo Xilai was being considered to be on the party’s Politiburo Standing Committee, but now he’ll be replaced as Chongqing city Communist Party secretary. The news of Bo’s exit—it wasn’t clear if he had resigned or was booted—was delivered in a one-sentence statement by the Xinhua News Agency. In recent weeks, a scandal had erupted over the chief of police who he picked who enforced a crackdown on Chongqing’s gangs.

A U.S. soldier's alleged massacre of 16 Afghan civilians may be about to scuttle the two countries’ agreement on post-combat operations in Afghanistan. Lawmakers there, furious that the suspect has been flown out of the country to Kuwait, are saying Kabul shouldn't sign the strategic partnership with the U.S., which would govern the presence of U.S. forces after the 2014 withdrawal. The U.S. military says that they did fly the suspect to Kuwait, but that he may still be tried in Afghanistan.

Catherine Greig, the longtime girlfriend of mobster James "Whitey" Bulger, pleaded guilty Wednesday to conspiracy charges for helping him remain on the lam for 16 years. Greig, 60, also pleaded guilty to two other charges involving conspiracy and identity theft and faces up to five years in prison. Before the plea, a man whose sister was allegedly murdered by Bulger told the court that Greig was a "monster" and deserved a harsh sentence. Bulger and Greig were arrested last June in California, caught with more than $820,000 in cash and a large trove of firearms hidden in the walls of their apartment. Bulger, who is accused of murdering 19 people, may have written memoirs that could be used against him in court, according to a recent investigation. 

Changes are afoot at Google, according to The Wall Street Journal. During the next few months the search engine will start giving facts and direct answers to questions in addition to a list of links. It isn't replacing its keyword-search system, but it is adopting “semantic search,” which will allow the engine to answer questions more like a human would. So if you Google, for example, “Ten largest lakes in California” it might give you the answer instead of linking to sites about lakes. It's partly an attempt to stay ahead of Microsoft's Bing search engine and Apple's voice-activated Siri assistant.

Mitt Romney refuses to believe that the GOP primary contest will end without a presidential nominee. "We're not going to go to a brokered convention," he said on Fox News Thursday. "The states that remain will vote for that person, and that person will get the delegates, become the nominee." Apparently one of Romney's aides suggested recently that it would take "an act of God" for Santorum to become the nominee. What of that, Mitt? "Anybody has a shot at becoming the nominee," he said, dodging the comment. "A good, spirited contest prepares us for what's going to happen with President Obama. I'm perfectly pleased with the process we've had."

A Ugandan gay rights group is suing American evangelist Scott Lively in Massachusetts for encouraging violence against gay men and lesbians in Uganda. In 2009, and again last month, Uganda considered a bill that would have made homosexuality punishable by death. One of Lively's contacts introduced the original bill. Lively said he doesn't know anything about the suit. “That's about as ridiculous as it gets. I've never done anything in Uganda except preach the Gospel and speak my opinion about the homosexual issue.”

Starting this fall, schools will be able to ask burger makers to please hold the "pink slime." The U.S. Department of Agriculture will announce that schools will be able to choose whether or not to buy hamburger with the gelatin-like material made from beef byproducts known as pink slime. According to a report by ABC last week, 70 percent of supermarket meat contains the material. It was previously sold only to dog food and cooking oil suppliers, but the USDA ruled that it was fit for human consumption if sprayed with ammonia, so it's currently used as filler in beef that isn't labeled "organic."

In his final speech before heading to prison, former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich said that he’s going to “follow the law.” Blago heads to Colorado to begin a 14-year sentence. Last June, Blagojevich was convicted on 17 counts of corruption, including allegations that he was trying to make a profit off filling Barack Obama’s Senate seat. Speaking to a crowd that sometimes chanted “Free our governor” outside his Chicago home, the disgraced former governor held his wife under his arms while she held back tears. "This, as bad as it is, is part of a long and hard journey that will only get worse before it gets better," he said. Day 1 of his 14 years begins.

Introducing the first $2.15 billion op-ed. After a resigning Goldman Sachs employee wrote a scathing piece for The New York Times about the company’s moral bankruptcy, Goldman Sach’s market value took a $2.15 billion hit. The company's share price tumbled 3.4 percent in trading Wednesday. The writer was Greg Smith, who spent 12 years at the company and held nothing back when blasting CEO Lloyd C. Blankfein and the culture of greed. The company sent a memo to employees on Wednesday, saying that Smith was wrong.  Shares are still up 33 percent for the year.

Bashar al Assad is marking what he is calling the anniversary of a “year-old conspiracy” against the country by sending thousands of regime supporters into the streets of Damascus. Meanwhile, tanks invaded the city of Daraa, where the protests first began, and shelling continued in Homs for a sixth straight day. Several civilians were shot and killed in Idlib, the rebel stronghold seized by Syrian troops yesterday. The opposition said 82 people died yesterday, including dozens in Idlib. The United Nations estimates 8,000 people have died in the crackdown so far.

Federal health officials unveiled a $54 million graphic anti-smoking campaign on Thursday that will feature ads with former smokers with serious illnesses from smoking. Called “Tips from Former Smokers,” the campaign features people with smoking-related ailments such as stroke-related paralysis, limb amputation, lung removal, heart attack and even one ad featuring a person who breathes through a stoma, a surgically insert hole in the neck. The campaign will feature ads in television, radio, newspapers and magazines as well as on billboards, in theatres and online on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. This campaign is the Center for Disease Control’s first paid, comprehensive national anti-tobacco advertising effort.

Apple stock reached a price of $600 a share for the first time on Thursday before edging back. The intraday record came one day ahead of new iPad launch. The stock is already up by $200 since the first trading day of the year. Apple's share price has been steadily rising since last week’s unveiling of the new iPad by CEO Tim Cook, and with early projections showing Apple set to sell 66 million iPads in 2012. The company’s market cap rose to $550 billion by Thursday. Thursday’s high opening—a record for Apple—could not be maintained, and share prices dropped in early trading.

President Obama better hope the Rutherford Hayes family isn’t still active in Ohio politics. In a speech on Thursday aimed at reforming energy policy, Obama said the 19th president’s refusal to use the telephone is “why he’s not on Mount Rushmore”—and Obama said he doesn’t plan on making the same mistake. “One of my predecessors, President Rutherford B. Hayes, reportedly said about the telephone ‘it’s a great invention, but who would ever want to use one?’” Obama said. “He’s looking backwards, not looking forward. He’s explaining why we can’t do something instead of why we can do something. The point is there will always be cynics and naysayers.” Obama pointed to “unnamed” Republicans running for a “certain office” that are opposed to finding alternative energy.

President Obama and British Prime Minister reportedly discussed releasing emergency oil reserves during their meeting on Wednesday, two sources told Reuters on Thursday, but White House spokesman Jay Carney said on Thursday that these reports were "inaccurate." He said it would be inaccurate to say there is a timetable for any agreement. According to the sources, Obama brought up the issue during a bilateral meeting at the White House. U.S. gas prices are at their highest seasonal levels ever, with retail gas averaging about $3.80 a gallon. Britain reportedly will also cooperate with the U.S. in an agreement to release strategic oil stocks, two British sources also told Reuters. President Obama defended his energy policy in a speech in Maryland, calling his critics a “Flat Earth Society.“

The 2012 Kony video about the conflict in Uganda and other parts of central Africa might be on its way to becoming the most viral video of all time—but it turns out that some people in northern Uganda are not so happy with the video itself. After the video gathered so much attention worldwide, the African Youth Initiative Network, a Uganda-based non-governmental organization, arranged a screening for some of the communities most affected by the conflict. Thousands gathered in the town of Lira, but many were “puzzled” by why the story was narrated by an American man and his son. This confusion turned to anger by the end of the film, when some audience members decided to throw rocks at the screen.

John Edwards’s former mistress, Rielle Hunter, has been granted immunity in his trial, according to North Carolina TV station WRAL on Thursday. The former presidential candidate has been accused of conspiring to violate campaign-finance laws by using $1 million from campaign donors to cover up his affair—and child—with Hunter. Jury selection in Edwards trial is expected to begin on April 12, and the opening arguments will kick off on April 23. The trial had already been postponed due to Edwards’s life-threatening heart condition.

The Georgia man who gunned down a 36-year-old father of two as he dropped his son off at day care was found guilty of murder but declared “mentally ill” Thursday. Hemy Neuman shot Russell Sneiderman multiple times in the parking lot of a day-care center in 2010, a killing police called a “cold and calculated murder.” Neuman’s lawyers did not deny his guilt in the trial, but suggested in the course of court proceedings that Andrea Sneiderman, the victim’s widow, may have been having an affair with Neuman at the time of the shooting, and pushed him to violence. She has not been charged, and denied those accusations in her testimony. “There was no affair,” Sneiderman said. “Who kills someone else’s husband?”

Hamid Karzai is fed up. The Afghanistan president made a dramatic request on Thursday, asking the U.S. to pull its troops out of villages and confine them to bases—a move that would effectively end combat operations for the 90,000 U.S. soldiers there. Karzai asked for the new tactic personally during a meeting with U.S. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, who is on a diplomatic swing through the country. Meanwhile, in a blow to a nascent peace process, the Afghan Taliban announced  that they would be suspending their negotiations with the United States. The group cited Washington’s “alternating and ever-changing position." It’s not clear whether the pullout is related to the shooting of Afghan civilians on Sunday or the recent burning of Qurans at a NATO base, two events that have stoked anti-American sentiment.