Well, so much for Illinois. Rick Santorum really stepped in it this afternoon when he said, “I don’t care what the unemployment rate’s going to be. Doesn’t matter to me.” Yikes. In Santorum’s defense, he was saying that what the nation needs is a candidate that’s willing to fight for “freedom,” and make that the central theme of the race. He went on to say that his campaign “doesn’t hinge” on unemployment rates and growth rates, since conservatives think the government doesn’t create jobs. Later he said that “of course” he cares about the rate and hopes it goes down, but again, his campaign is about freedom. Santorum is currently polling about 15 percentage points behind Romney in Illinois.

The attorney who defended Ted Bundy and Colton Harris-Moore, the so-called Barefoot Bandit, met with his newest client Monday. Army staff Sgt. Robert Bales, accused of killing 16 Afghan civilians more than a week ago, had "no memory" of the killings, only of events before and after, Seattle attorney John Henry Browne said after meeting his client at Fort Leavenworth in Kansas. He said he was deeply moved by the soldier’s account of life on the ground in Afghanistan, asserting that “it’s totally different when you hear about it from somebody who’s been there.” Browne has addressed the media repeatedly since he was brought on for the defense. In their first meeting, Browne and other defense attorneys spoke with Bales for more than seven hours.

A massive French police effort is underway to find a shooter believed to be responsible for the killing of four people outside a school Monday, as well as two deadly shootings last week. The bodies of a rabbi and three Jewish children killed in the barbaric shooting Monday will be transported to Israel for burial, according to the Israeli foreign ministry. France is on high alert after a gunman on a motorcycle shot down the unsuspecting victims outside a religious school, the third such attack in 10 days in the same southwestern area of the country. The Associated Press cited news reports that said that the same weapon was used in all three slayings, heightening suspicions that the killer has taken aim at minorities. As the country reeled, French President Nicolas Sarkozy appeared at the school to say that “everything must be done so the killer is arrested.”

The Department of Justice and the FBI will investigate the killing of Trayvon Martin of Sanford, Fla. Critics have blasted the case as a “botched investigation.” Trayvon, 17, was on his way home from a 7-Eleven with Skittles and iced tea when a neighborhood-watch volunteer spotted him and thought he looked “drugged” and acted suspiciously. The man, 28-year-old George Zimmerman, said that Trayvon attacked him from behind and that he was forced to shoot Martin, who was unarmed. Witnesses, however, say they heard a boy pleading, then silence after two gunshots. Trayvon’s family thinks Sanford police are tampering with the investigation, and Zimmerman has not been charged.

Lynndie England, the former U.S. soldier convicted of abusing Iraqi detainees in the Abu Ghraib scandal, says in a new interview that she doesn’t regret how the detainees were treated. “Their lives are better. They got the better end of the deal,” she tells The Daily. “They weren’t innocent. They’re trying to kill us, and you want me to apologize to them? It’s like saying sorry to the enemy.” Now the mother of a 7-year-old son, England says she has at least one regret: she worries that some of the pictures of her and her fellow soldiers humiliating and abusing detainees may have cost American lives on the battlefield. She also told interviewers that she doesn’t regret having her son, even though the father, Charles Graner, who was the ringleader of the abuses at Abu Ghraib, doesn’t want anything to do with him.

The race is on to analyze Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum’s Secret Service code names, which campaign sources have confirmed exclusively to GQ magazine. Romney chose the code name “Javelin,” which could  refer to the 1960s muscle car made by an automotive company Mitt’s father once ran. Santorum, who seems to be as interested in gathering disciples as delegates, chose “Petrus,” Latin for “rock” and root of the name "Peter," the first pope of the Roman Catholic Church. The tradition of code names dates back to the days when communications between the Secret Service and the White House weren’t encrypted. Now that they have a back-up, apparently it’s no big deal if candidates’ code names are leaked, agent Ed Donovan told GQ. President Obama’s code name was revealed shortly after he got Secret Service protection in 2007. The Democratic candidate and his wife were apparently fans of alliteration: Barack Obama went by “Renegade,” while Michelle Obama used “Renaissance.”

James Cameron–yes, that James Cameron, the one who gave us dreadlocked 3-D space eco-mystics in Avatar–is about to go where only two men have ever gone before. After developing a revolutionary submersible (a version of a submarine) behind a veil of secrecy for eight years in Australia (could this sound more cinematic?), Cameron announced this month that he plans to plunge nearly seven miles down into the Pacific Ocean's Challenger Deep, the deepest known point in the ocean. “It’s a great idea, a tremendous idea,” said Alfred S. McLaren, a former U.S. Navy submariner, about Cameron’s 24-foot, bullet-shaped submersible. In tests for his ambitious dive, Cameron has plumbed the ocean’s depth to more than five miles, setting a modern record. His ultimate challenge, however, will take him more than 6.8 miles below sea level, a dive that will require Cameron to occupy the submersible for about nine hours. Two U.S. Navy men are the only people who have made the journey before.

Russian "anti-terrorist" troops have arrived in Syria, despite the al-Assad regime’s insistence that outside nations not get involved in the ongoing bloodshed. United Nations security experts say the troops might be there as a show of support for al-Assad. Russia has repeatedly blocked attempts by the U.N. Security Council to take action to stop the violence in Syria. Last week Russian leaders said they did not have plans to send troops to Syria, but the Iman, one of the ships in the Russian Black Sea fleet, has docked at Tartus, a Syrian port on the Mediterranean Sea with marines on board. The Russian government has sold billions of dollars’ worth of military weaponry to Syria and has a close relationship with President Bashar al-Assad. The BBC reported that although Russia's military presence was soon to be felt in the country, Kremlin leaders called for a truce to allow aid groups access to injured civilians.

Oh no, O! Oprah Winfrey’s cable network, OWN, announced Monday that it is laying off 30 people, about one fifth of its workforce, to revamp its East and West Coast operations. The multibillionaire media mogul cast the firings in the terms of struggles faced by many  fledgling companies, saying, “It is difficult to make tough business decisions that affect people’s lives, but the economics of a start-up cable network just don’t work with the cost structure that was in place.” OWN has suffered occasional setbacks since Winfrey launched the network in January 2011, but she said the cuts will help get the company on track for “long-term success.”

Space, the final frontier. Or, you know, that place where Ashton Kutcher will soon be hanging out. The Two and a Half Men thespian is Virgin Galactic’s 500^th customer for a roundtrip ticket to outer space. Worth about $140 million, Kutcher can easily afford the $200,000 price tag for the SpaceShipTwo rocket plane trip to 62 miles out, where passengers can see the arc of Earth and the black sky above. Other celebs rumored to be on the “list” of people planning a Virgin space voyage: Katy Perry, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and Beyonce and Jay-Z—it’s not clear whether Blue Ivy Carter will join in. Commercial service isn’t expected to begin until at least 2013.

Sci-fi action flick John Carter has officially unspooled for Disney, with the company saying Monday that it expects to mark down a $200 million loss, making it one of the biggest bombs in the history of Tinseltown. The movie is reported to have brought in $184 million in worldwide ticket sales, but that has hardly been enough to save the $250 million project, on which around $100 million more was spent on marketing, from folding like a dwarf star. The movie’s failure is a blow to the career of director Andrew Stanton, who had reached both mass-market success and critical acclaim with Finding Nemo and Wall-E.

Goodbye Indianapolis, hello Denver! ESPN is reporting that star Colts quarterback Peyton Manning has decided to play for the Broncos. Manning, who was released from Indianapolis earlier this month, had been in discussions with a handful of teams—including the San Francisco 49ers and the Tennessee Titans—but decided Denver was the place for him. The two sides still need to hammer out the details of a contract, but Manning and John Elway, vice president of football operations for the Broncos, have already discussed a five-year $95 million contract. ESPN is also reporting that the Broncos will trade Christian sensation Tim Tebow once Manning officially becomes their quarterback.

It appears as though the jury deciding Nicollette Sheridan’s wrongful-termination suit didn’t have enough evidence to conclude being pushed out of the popular show Desperate Housewives. Following the jury’s announcement on Friday that it was “hopelessly deadlocked,” and two subsequent days of deliberating, a judge declared a mistrial on Monday. The jury had ruled 8-4 in favor of Sheridan, one vote shy of a verdict. Sheridan was seeking $5.7 million from creator Marc Cherry, whom she had feuded with on set and accused of killing off her character because of their personal differences.

Arizona was hit by a rare snowstorm Monday, a day before spring officially starts. “Expect widespread snow across northern Arizona into Monday with extremely hazardous driving conditions, especially in the mountains,” the National Weather Service said, according to its warning. Flagstaff was hit by 10 to 14 inches of snow from the weekend, which prompted school closings Monday. The city of Prescott got 8 to 12 inches. Authorities had to close 180 miles of Interstate 40 in northern Arizona. But most of the U.S. will continue to enjoy unseasonably balmy temperatures.

Three people were crushed to death when the memorial service for Egypt’s late Coptic Pope Shenouda III plunged into chaos Sunday. Tens of thousands of mourners tried to catch a glimpse of his embalmed corpse, which sat on the papal throne at a Cairo cathedral. Dozens more were injured in the crowded church. The 88-year-old leader died Saturday and reportedly suffered from cancer.

Embattled playwright Mike Daisey, whose story on working conditions at Apple’s Foxconn factory in China was retracted by the radio program This American Life Friday, gave the final New York performance of his show The Agony and the Ecstasy of Steve Jobs Sunday. Despite his credibility being questioned over using hearsay and anecdotes from people he didn’t actually meet, the audience still gave him a standing ovation. Before the show, Daisey told his audience that he had revised the script to make it more accurate. His show is scheduled to move to Washington next.

Correction: On Saturday, The Daily Beast's newsletter incorrectly identified This American Life as an NPR program. The show is produced by public radio station WBEZ in Chicago and distributed by Public Radio International.

Is this his kryptonite? While the president is raising more than the GOP contenders, Obama’s campaign has focused mostly on small donations—and is failing to pull in donations of $2,000 or more. At this point last election, Obama had 23,000 supporters who gave large donations. This year he’s only at 11,000 (when Dubya was running for reelection he had four times that number). While it could be a sign of financial problems to come, some Democrats don’t think so: they blame the lack of big money boosts on the economy, disillusioned wealthy liberals, and lackluster GOP challengers.

While Afghans have expressed outrage over the shooting allegedly carried out by Staff Sgt. Robert Bales, a Taliban commander told reporters Sunday that he wants the man tried in the country. “We want this soldier to be prosecuted in Afghanistan, and according to Islamic law,” the Taliban leader said. “The Afghans should prosecute him.” He went on to say he was skeptical of reports that the shooting was carried out by only one soldier. “The foreigners and the puppet regime are blind to the truth of what happened here,” said the Taliban official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. Relations between the United States and Afghanistan have degenerated recently, prompted by the shooting and the burning of copies of the Quran in February by American soldiers.

Intense fighting erupted Monday in the Syrian capital of Damascus as rebels and government security forces clashed. The opposition has moved in on the key neighborhood of al Mazzeh, where there are embassies and security buildings—and the homes of some of President Bashar al-Assad’s inner circle. It’s the fiercest fighting in the Syrian capital so far in the yearlong uprising, and rebels have made apparent gains elsewhere in the country.

Not every swimsuit model has a glam life. Simone Farrow, formerly the face of Ed Hardy bikinis and a three-time FHM “Sexiest Woman in the World,” has been arrested for allegedly running an international drug ring out of her Hollywood apartment. Farrow, 37, had been on the run for a month after skipping bail when she was arrested last week in Queensland and accused of shipping methamphetamines around the world via FedEx and the U.S. Postal Service. She allegedly used 19 different names when shipping the drugs, which she hid in bath salts. Farrow has denied all charges and said she had remained on the run because “someone was trying to murder me.”

The University of North Carolina made it into the Sweet 16 at the NCAA March Madness basketball tournament Sunday, but Tar Heels point guard Kendall Marshall, one of the nation’s best players, who had 18 points on seven-for-eight shooting with 11 assists last night, broke his right (nonshooting) wrist in a win over Creighton. Marshall’s father confirmed that his son will have surgery to insert a screw Monday, and the sophomore’s status for Friday will depend on the progress. UNC and the other three No. 1 seeds—Kentucky, Michigan State, and Syracuse—are in the Sweet 16.

United Parcel Service said Monday it’s acquiring TNT Express, a Dutch shipping company, for $6.8 billion. The deal would increase the American company’s market share in Europe and open doors to the industry in China. About 36 percent of its combined revenues would come from outside the U.S. after the merger, compared with 26 percent right now. It’s the biggest acquisition in UPS’s 105-year history—it bought Overnite Corp. for $1.2 billion in 2005.

Eight states got a failing F grade for corruption—and not a single state got an A—according to a comprehensive study released Monday by the Center for Public Integrity, Global Integrity, and Public Radio International. The governments are rated according to transparency, accountability, and anti-corruption efforts. Michigan, North Dakota, South Carolina, Maine, Virginia, Wyoming, South Dakota, and Georgia each came in with failing grades in the State Integrity Investigation. New Jersey topped the ratings, and four other states got a B: Connecticut, Washington, California, and Nebraska.

Asma al-Assad, the glamorous British-born wife of Syria’s president, Bashar al-Assad, told a friend that she was the “real dictator” in the family, according to leaked emails that were released by the country’s opposition last week. The correspondences suggest she has no misgivings about the regime’s brutal crackdown on its citizens, which has killed at least 8,000 people. Her emails show her to be highly supportive of her husband—on Jan. 10 she praised her his defiant speech that promised “no more messing around.” On Jan. 17 she even circulated an email cracking a joke at the expense of the people of Homs shortly before government forces laid siege on the city and killed hundreds. Goes to show that beautiful doesn’t mean classy.

Perhaps $100 billion is a bit too much to keep under the mattress. Faced with an enormous reserve of cash on hand, Apple announced Monday that it would pay a quarterly dividend of $2.65 a share some time after July. The company will also buy back $10 billion worth of shares over the next three years. That'll keep shareholders happy and also counteract the equity grants that Apple will hand out to employees over the years. Of course, even these payouts will leave the iPad maker with a pile of cash. “We can [still] maintain a war chest for strategic opportunities and have plenty of cash to run our business,” CEO Tim Cook said about the decision.

Analysts are saying that Illinois’s Tuesday primary is a must-win for Rick Santorum, but new Public Policy Polling numbers show that probably won’t happen. Frontrunner Mitt Romney has a commanding 45 percent–to–30 percent lead over Santorum, according to the survey released Monday, the eve of the vote (it was taken Saturday and Sunday). Both candidates are campaigning today in the state, which has 54 delegates at stake.

She’s come a long way. The Duchess of Cambridge made her first public speech Monday marking the opening of The Treehouse, a hospice run by East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices in Ipswich, England. She wasn’t Churchill, but in her brief three-minute speech she remained calm. “I am only sorry that William can’t be here today; he would love it here,” she said. The prince is on a six-week Royal Air Force deployment in the Falkland Islands, so Kate is on her own for a while.

Seattle defense attorney John Henry Browne, who’s represented serial killer Ted Bundy and the “Barefoot Bandit,” is in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, Monday for a meeting with Staff Sgt. Robert Bales, who’s likely to be charged this week over the alleged killing of 16 Afghan civilians near Kandahar last week. Browne’s meeting is described as a privileged visit, meaning it will be more private than others. Bales’s defense team issued a statement late Saturday, saying that “it is too early to determine what factors may have played into this incident and the defense team looks forward to reviewing the evidence.”

Rick Santorum doesn’t think any of the Republican candidates have a good chance at securing the 1,144 delegates needed for the presidential nomination, making it likely that the primary will end in a brokered convention. Despite his dismal showing in Puerto Rico over the weekend, Santorum is looking forward to a better turnout in Illinois this week in the hopes that he can at least prevent Mitt Romney from accumulating more delegates. “If the other people stay in the race, it’s going to be hard for anyone to get to that magic number,” the former Pennsylvania senator said on CBS’s This Morning. “We believe we get to the convention, the convention will nominate a conservative. The convention will not nominate an establishment moderate from Massachusetts.”

The owners of the New York Mets have agreed to pay $162 million to other Madoff investors who lost their cash when the billionaire financier’s fraud scheme went belly up. They reached an agreement with the trustee for Madoff’s victims Monday morning just as jury selection for a civil trial to determine how much the Mets owners owed was about to begin. (The trustee’s lawyer, Irving Picard, had alleged that the Mets owners knew Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme but invested anyway.) A judge had already ruled that they must pay up to $83 million back, but if they had gone to trial, they might have been forced to pay another $303 million. Mets lawyers were prepared to call pitcher Sandy Koufax to testify for the defense.

A gunman on a motorcycle opened fire Monday morning outside a Jewish school in the French city of Toulouse, killing at least four people: a 30-year-old rabbi, his 3-year-old and 6-year-old sons, and the 10-year-old daughter of the school’s director. The shooting comes days after soldiers in the same region were gunned down by a man on a motorbike in two other shootings. Investigators said forensic tests show that the same weapon was used in all three attacks. The motive so far is unclear, but the victims have all been ethnic minorities. Children were arriving for morning classes at the Ozar Hatorah school when the gunman attacked, then sped off. French President Nicolas Sarkozy denounced the “savagery” of the attack.

Jeremy Lin, the only NBA star with a Harvard degree, has scored his first major endorsement deal. He’s signed on with Volvo, which is owned by a Chinese corporation, to represent the automaker in ads in the US and China over the next two years. Lin’s success has filled a demand for professional basketball among Chinese sports fans first fed by Yao Ming, who has since retired from the Houston Rockets. “You may not immediately see the connection between me and Volvo,” Lin said in a statement. “But both of us are striving to be better and smarter at what we do, and to do it our own way.” Hey, at least it’s not Linfinti or Lin-coln.