Jobs, jobs, jobs! No, it wasn’t a campaign stop in the U.S. presidential race, but rather a plea for help from Burma’s Aung San Suu Kyi, who was speaking at the World Economic Forum on East Asia in Bangkok Thursday. The newly-elected Burmese parliamentary representative said that the country did not “want investments to mean greater inequality,” but rather for “it to mean jobs.” “We need vocational training much more than higher education,” said Suu Kyi, making her first trip outside of the country in 24 years. The military regime in her country has thawed in recent years, allowing her to run for public office and strengthening ties with world powers. Suu Kyi heads to Europe for further talks in June.

The jury in the John Edwards trial has found the former presidential candidate not guilty on count 3 while passing a note to the judge that said they were deadlocked on the five other counts. The judge ruled a mistrial on the other five counts, and the jury is said to be released in the near future. A source told the Associated Press Thursday afternoon that it was unlikely the government would seek another trial against Edwards. Edwards had been charged with six counts of misappropriating campaign funds, which could put him in jail for up to 30 years and have a maximum fine of $1.5 million. Edwards had been accused of using $1 million in campaign funds to cover up his affair and love child with Rielle Hunter.

The national law that declared marriage as a union between one man and one woman, the Defense of Marriage Act, was declared unconstitutional Thursday. The ruling, by the First Circuit Court of Appeals, sets the stage for DOMA to be taken up by the U.S. Supreme Court—which could lead to federal approval of same-sex marriages. The court noted that if the 1996 law had remained intact, then couples who are legally wed in Massachusetts can be denied benefits elsewhere. “We won,” said Laura Kiritsy, a spokeswoman for the Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders.

While speaking in Denmark, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said that Russia’s policies make civil war in Syria more likely. “[The Russians] are telling me they don’t want to see a civil war. I have been telling them their policy is going to help to contribute to a civil war,” she said, adding, “the Syrians are not going to listen to us. They will listen maybe to the Russians, so we have to keep pushing them.” Clinton also explained that the case for military intervention in Syria gets stronger every day. A spokesman for U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron expressed a similar sentiment saying that “all the options on the table” are being considered.

Summer is off to a dismal start for investors on Wall Street, who are likely damning that old adage to “sell in May and go away.” The Dow and NASDAQ closed down dramatically on Thursday, with both stocks logging their worst monthly performances in two years. Europe’s debt crisis and Facebook’s IPO disaster both contributed to tumbling stocks, sending investors scrambling to put their money in U.S. government bonds.

Ian L. Stawicki, the man police say is responsible for killing five in two separate shootings before turning the gun on himself in Seattle Wednesday, owned at least six guns and had a concealed weapons permit that was valid through 2015. Stawicki purchased a .45-caliber handgun in 2008, just after he was cleared of domestic violence charges. It's not clear whether any of those weapons were used in the shooting. Stawicki's family has said he was mentally ill.

In an interview with Piers Morgan on Thursday, former president Bill Clinton said that he thinks President Barack Obama will win reelection, but he didn't criticize Mitt Romney's role at Bain Capital as other Democrats have been doing. Clinton said Romney had a "sterling business career" and was capable of performing the basic functions of the presidency. But, the election will come down to ideas, not former careers, said Clinton.

East Coast travelers accustomed to low-cost bus fares will have fewer options this summer after federal officials ordered 26 companies to halt operations because of safety concerns. The companies were affiliated with three bus operators that ignored federal rules and changed their names in an effort to evade sanctions and keep operating, regulators said Thursday. Investigators began paying closer attention to these bus lines after a handful of deadly crashes in recent years. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood said that shutting down these companies will save lives.

So now is the apocalypse really coming?! It seems the folks over at The Atlantic Wire didn't like a recent Daily Beast slideshow or map of the signs that the Zombie Apocalypse is coming. The Wire said TDB had taken the “Miami Zombie” story “too far,” calling the list  “disgusting.” Yet the site owned up to its own “macabre capitalizing,” requesting no “exemption” from said scolding. But when the Zombie Apocalypse finally does happen, don't say you weren’t warned.

And we have a winner! Fourteen-year-old Snigdha Nandipati, a San Diego eighth grader, won the Scripps National Spelling Bee after correctly spelling “guetapens” Thursday. The final word was no guetapen for Nandipati; the word is defined as an ambush, snare, or trap. Nandipati, who came in 27th place last year, beat out 14-year-old Stuti Mishra, a student from Orlando, who misspelled the word “schwarmerei,” or an excessive enthusiasm for or attachment to. We think Nandipati will have a schwarmerei to her trophy!

On the heels of a costly film flop that led Walt Disney Studios chairman Rich Ross to resign, Disney CEO Bob Iger has entrusted former Warner Bros. chief Alan Horn to put things back in order as Ross’s successor. A seasoned film exec, Horn saw Warner Bros. through a decade of blockbuster success, overseeing moneymaking projects like the phenomenal Harry Potter franchise. Horn will officially move into his new office on June 11 and will take over worldwide operations for Disney Studios, including production, distribution and marketing for Pixar, Marvel, and DreamWorks studios.

At least 13 people who are running for the U.S. Senate have filed for bankruptcies, been hit with liens for overdue taxes, or convicted of crimes. The investigation into the candidates’ credit history came via InvestigativeCheck, a nonpartisan research firm, and a new online newspaper, the Washington Guardian. The 13 candidates come from all parties, including three Democrats, two Independents and eight Republicans—and many are self-proclaimed Tea Party activists advocating fiscal restraint. One such hopeful, Tea Party candidate Brenda Lenard in Tennessee, has raised $58,000 so far in her challenge to incumbent Senator Bob Corker—but a background check reveals that she was convicted in 1993 of deposit amount fraud, a felony, and a federal judge in Atlanta accused her of abusing bankruptcy 12 years later.

Armed Bedouin tribesmen kidnapped two U.S. tourists in the Sinai peninsula on Wednesday, apparently demanding the release of a tribesman in a drugs case. The two men, both American, were taken while driving near the resort of Dahab. The U.S. embassy confirmed the kidnapping on Thursday, but did not give any further details. Egyptian police said they are negotiating for the men’s release.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is wading into the debate about how best to combat obesity by proposing a plan that would force restaurants, movie theaters, and street carts to stop serving sodas and other sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces. The plan, unveiled by Bloomberg’s administration Wednesday, does not include diet sodas, juices, and dairy products like milkshakes.  Consumers would still be able to purchase larger sizes in grocery and convenience stores. The proposal, which could take effect as early as March 2012, will have to be approved by the city’s health department, though most believe the panel will sign off on it because they are appointed by the mayor. A soda industry spokesman decried the plan as unfairly targeting soft drinks.

The tech blog All Things D on Wednesday released a trove of videos of Steve Jobs at Apple conferences from 2003 to 2007, free on iTunes. In the seven onstage interviews, Jobs explained how his—and Apple’s—philosophy is evolving, and he stressed the importance of building products for their actual uses, not “orifices” like corporate IT departments or cellphone carriers. He also discussed his competitors and even appears in one interview with Microsoft founder Bill Gates.

Politico's Jim Vendehei and Mike Allen defend the Republican charge that the mainstream media operates with a liberal bias, pointing to two recent articles in The New York Times. The front page of the paper's Sunday edition was dedicated to Ann Romney's penchant for exotic horse riding, while the unearthed details of President Obama's pot-smoking rituals from David Maraniss's forthcoming book were burried on A15. "No wonder Republicans are livid with the early coverage of the 2012 general election campaign," the Politico writers concede. "To them the reporters are scaring up stories to undermine the introduction of Mitt Romney to the general election audience—and once again downplaying the ones that could hurt the president."

The suspect in two Seattle shootings that left five dead fatally shot himself after a standoff with police Wednesday afternoon. Five other people died in the pair of shootings for which police believe the suspect was responsible. The shooter killed four people and wounded one other at a café in the university district in the north part of the city. An hour prior to the café shooting, a woman was killed in an apparent carjacking. Witnesses said the suspect fled the café on foot. Police were closing in on the suspect later in the day when he shot himself in the head, local media reported.

The general election is off to a close start, with Mitt Romney and Barack Obama virtually tied in Colorado, Iowa and Nevada--three battleground states. According to a new NBC News/Marist poll, President Obama is leading in Colorado among independents, women and voters under 45, while Romney is the favorite among male voters and those over the age of 45 and in Iowa they are tied at 44 percent each. And in Nevada, which Obama won by double digits in 2008, he is only beating Romney by two points. 

Things are not looking so good for Jeremy Hunt. The embattled culture minister testified Thursday before the Leveson Inquiry about his role in Rupert Murdoch’s controversial—and doomed—bid to take over the British broadcaster BSkyB. Hunt had been the minister responsible for overseeing the regulatory process behind News Corp.’s BSkyB takeover and had the final say in approving the deal. Hunt testified Thursday that he was “sympathetic” to News Corp.’s bid, and apparently texted James Murdoch—Rupert’s son who was put in charge of the BSkyB deal—on the day that Hunt took over the bid. One of Hunt’s advisers has already resigned due to allegations after the Leveson Inquiry, and Hunt himself is fighting for his political survival.

Zhang Ziyi, the star of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, denied Wednesday the swirling rumors that she had earned $100 million by sleeping with some of China’s richest men, including disgraced politician Bo Xilai. According to reports in China, Zhang allegedly had sex with Bo at least 10 times between 2007 and 2011 in exchange for “huge” monetary gifts, rumored to at least $1.5 million each time. A publicist for the actress, a three-time BAFTA nominee and the star of several U.S.-made films including Rush Hour 2, called the allegations “outrageous.”

Canadian officials said Thursday that they believe the man suspected of being involved in a brutal murder and mailing body parts to at least two locations may be in France. Montreal police released a photo of Luka Rocco Magnotta, who is reportedly a male model and bisexual actor in porn films, in connection to the case. The case first made headlines when a severed foot was delivered via Canada Post to the headquarters of the ruling Conservative Party in Ottawa. A hand was also intercepted in the mail, and police said later they believed the limbs were connected to a torso found in a garbage pile in Montreal.

The job market remains sluggish as summer kicks off, with more people queuing up to collect unemployment than expected last week. The number of weekly unemployment benefit applications increased for the first time in a month, disappointing economists who were expecting hiring to pick up in May. A separate jobs report Thursday reflected only modest hiring rates in private businesses. This data doesn’t figure into the May unemployment rate, which analysts expect will be an improvement from April.

The Syrian government released 500 political prisoners on Thursday, as shelling was reported in Houla, the site a deadly massacre less than a week ago. The Syrian rebels on Thursday called for a Friday deadline for a ceasefire as United Nations special envoy Kofi Annan's attempts to broker a peace deal stalled. The U.N. observers had reported finding 13 dead bodies bound and killed execution-style on Wednesday, shortly after Western nations coordinated an effort to expel all Syrian diplomats. More than 100 people were killed in Houla on Friday, with reports that shadowy men had went door-to-door and slaughtered people in their homes. U.S. ambassador to the U.N. Susan Rice said that if the Security Council cannot deliver action to end the violence, the member states may have to act outside the U.N.

A ban on gender-based abortions was up for vote in the House on Thursday. The legislation that would make it a federal crime to carry out an abortion based on the sex of a fetus. The measure is aimed at abortions of female fetuses, a common practice in Asian countries such as India and China that is also believed to take place in the U.S. The bill is mainly backed by Republicans who see the vote as an issue of gender bias at a time when Democrats are accusing the GOP of waging a war on women. Meanwhile, opponents of the law, including the Obama administration, Democrats, and abortion-rights activists, argued that the bill only further limits a woman’s right to terminate a pregnancy and could potentially lead to racial profiling of Asian-Americans.

SpaceX’s Dragon capsule returned to earth Thursday, ending the historic mission for the first-ever privately owned rocket to launch into space and travel to the International Space Station. The capsule launched into space May 22 from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida, and reached its climax last Friday when the robotic arm at the ISS pulled the Dragon in to dock. The station’s crew reversed the process Thursday, as the rocket splashed back down into the Pacific Ocean. SpaceX’s mission represents a new era in space exploration: Namely, one that is controlled by private enterprise as NASA focuses more on missions outside the earth’s orbit, such as to asteroids, the moon, and Mars.

Disgraced former presidential candidate John Edwards spoke on the courthouse steps after a federal judge in North Carolina declared a mistrial in the campaign-funds corruption case against him. The jury acquitted Edwards on one count and remained deadlocked on the five other counts against the former senator, the judge therefore declaring a mistrial on those counts. In his remarks, Edwards thanked the jurors and said, “While I do not believe I did anything illegal … I did an awful, awful lot that was wrong and no one else is responsible for my sins.” He also acknowledged and thanked all of his children, including his child with Rielle Hunter, saying, “My precious Quinn, who I love more than any of you can ever imagine, [who] I am so close to, so, so grateful for.”

The president of the European Central Bank said on Thursday that the current structure of the Euro Zone is "unsustainable," as panic spread over Spain's impending economic woes. Mario Draghi told the European Parliament that the next step will be for leaders of European countries to clarify what their vision will be. Meanwhile, investors hunted for safe-haven assets on Thursday, as many sought U.S. bonds and dollars. And Ireland went to the polls Thursday to vote on the European Union’s fiscal pact, the only country of the 25 pro-pact nations that has put the treaty to a vote among its people.

How do you spell go-getter? For six-year-old Lori Anne Madison, who was bounced from the National Spelling Bee Wednesday, it doesn’t matter anymore. Madison, the youngest contestant to enter the competition, had no trouble spelling her first word “dirigible” (which, as we all know, is an adjective for “capable of being steered”). What brought down the precocious young girl? Spelling “ingluvies” with an “e” instead of an “i.” After hearing the news of Madison’s exit, we imagine millions of people across the nation, aged 6 to 26, breathed a sigh of relief, blissfully unaware of the “widened portion of the esophagus, in many mollusks, insects, and birds, which serves to accumulate, store, and sometimes also begin the chemical processing of food.”