If Lifetime hasn’t optioned film rights to this scandal yet, nothing’s right with the world. In a bizarre twist, the FBI agent who launched the investigation that ended with the revelation that ex-CIA chief David Petraeus was having an affair with his biographer was taken off the case over the summer for becoming too involved. Sources tell The Wall Street Journal he allegedly went so far as to send shirtless photos to Jill Kelley, the friend of Petraeus who allegedly received threatening emails from his mistress, Paula Broadwell. The same agent apparently also contacted congressman David Reichert with concerns that the FBI planned to sweep the scandal under the rug.

It just gets worse—the sex scandal that brought down Gen. David Petraeus has widened to include Gen. John Allen, the commander of U.S. and NATO troops in Afghanistan, according to the Pentagon. The FBI is investigating between 20,000 and 30,000 pages of “potentially inappropriate” communications since 2010 between Allen and Jill Kelley, the Tampa woman whose initial call to the FBI uncovered Petraeus’s affair with biographer Paula Broadwell. In a statement, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta said Allen would remain in his post while the investigation proceeds but asked the Senate to move up the confirmation of Marine Gen. Joseph Dunford, his likely successor. It is unclear whether Allen will be subject to criminal prosecution—adultery is classified as a crime in the U.S. military.

The U.S.-led combat mission in Afghanistan is set to end in 2014—but that doesn’t mean the country won’t still need an American military presence. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta said Monday that the administration is currently weighing several different options on how many troops will remain in Afghanistan post-2014, and will decide within the next few weeks. Once the decision is made, plans can be put in place for how to start removing the 67,000 troops currently in the country. Panetta was also asked about the recent resignation of his CIA director successor David Petraeus, saying, “I think he took the right step,” by resigning.

Now that the election’s over, it’s time to kickstart the Washington job merry-go-round. Rumors are already circulating that President Obama is looking to replace Defense Secretary Leon Panetta with Sen. John Kerry, the senior senator from Massachusetts. Kerry has reportedly wanted the top spot at the State Department, but that job will most likely go to U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, even though she has come under fire for her handling of the aftermath of the Sept. 11 Benghazi attack. John O. Brennan, the president’s principle counterterrorism adviser, may be offered the CIA director position. If he doesn’t take it, Michael Morell, the acting director, is considered the leading candidate.

We’re just beginning to see the staggering cleanup costs from Hurricane Sandy—the country’s costliest storm other than Katrina. New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo is seeking at least $30 billion in aid from the federal government, according to The New York Times. His inventory includes $3.5 billion to repair the region's bridges and commuter lines, $1.65 billion to rebuild homes and apartments, $1 billion to pay back local police and emergency personnel for working overtime, and several billion dollars in federal loans and grants for affected businesses.

It’s been a while since the Yom Kippur war of ’73. That’s when Israel last took “direct hits” at Syria, as the nation has done for the last two days in retaliation for an errant Syrian mortar shell that landed in the Golan Heights. Israel’s army has shelled “mobile artillery” in retaliation for the violence spilling across borders. While Israel has said that it knows the Syria fire was inadvertent, officials say the retaliatory blasts are just “warning shots” to prevent further violence.

Was he sleeping with his biographer too? Steven Sinofsky, head of Microsoft’s Windows Division, announced his departure from the company Monday, effective immediately. The move comes just two weeks after Sinofsky led the launch of Microsoft’s Windows 8 and the Surface tablet. He had been with the company since 1989. Unnamed sources say the exit “came amid growing tension between Sinofsky and other top executives” and claim that many higher-ups thought he was “not the kind of team player the company was looking for.” Sinofsky had overseen the Windows Division since July 2009.

What happens when a computer genius falls in with the wrong crowd? Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted for murder, according to Belize police, who have declared him a prime suspect in the murder of American expatriate Gregory Faull. Faull, who was shot dead in his home Saturday night, had filed a formal complaint against McAfee last Wednesday. Gizmodo reported that McAfee, writing under the moniker “Stuffmonger,” has admitted in online forums to gang involvement in Belize and experimenting with the hallucinogenic “bath salts.”

The fallen cycling star may be changing his tune. Lance Armstrong is reportedly considering admitting to doping charges in order to be able to compete again, sources tell The New York Times. After being stripped of his seven Tour de France titles on doping charges, Armstrong has officially cut all ties with Livestrong, the charity he founded 15 years ago while battling testicular cancer. But Armstrong's lawyer is denying the report, for now anyway. Tim Herman, Armstrong’s longtime lawyer, said: “I do not know about that. I suppose anything is possible, for sure. Right now, that’s really not on the table.”

Good news, y’all. ABC’s musical soap opera Nashville got a full-season pickup Monday. The country-music drama, about a rising diva played by Hayden Panettiere who is at odds with a veteran crooner played by Connie Britton, earned love letters from critics when it premiered in September, but ratings have been less than stellar. The pickup is for nine more episodes. Also receiving orders for three additional scripts (but not a full season—yet) are ABC’s Friday-night sitcoms Malibu Country, starring Reba McEntire, and Last Man Standing, starring Tim Allen.

Big surprise: a man who got a giant tattoo of Mitt Romney’s campaign logo on his face is “totally disappointed” with the election results. “I’m the guy who has egg all over his face,” Eric Hartsburg tell Politico. “But instead of egg, it’s a big Romney/Ryan tattoo. It’s there for life.” Hartsburg raised $5,000 on eBay for the 5-by-2-inch tat. Now he claims he has no regrets. “I’m hoping this opens some other doors in the entertainment business,” he says.

007’s still got it. After four years off the big screen, the Bond series made a triumphant return this weekend with its newest action thriller, Skyfall, which grossed a record-breaking $87.8 million in its first three days. The number shatters the previous opening-weekend record, set in 2008, when Quantum of Solace brought in a whopping $67.5 million. Already the biggest debut in the Bond series’s 23-film history, Skyfall may not be done breaking records. As the lucrative Thanksgiving weekend approaches, some predict it will be the first Bond flick to pass the $200 million mark. Some things are worth waiting for.

The blue gingham dress Judy Garland wore as Dorothy in Hollywood classic The Wizard of Oz went for $480,000 at an auction in Beverly Hills this weekend. The buyer of the dress—which did not come with the iconic ruby slippers in which Dorothy traipsed through a world of Munchkins, witches, and poppy fields—was not identified. A skirt owned by Marilyn Monroe and a dress worn in the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical The Sound of Music were also auctioned off.

MSNBC is hot, and Washington Post columnist Ezra Klein may soon be its new star. Network sources tell The New York Times that the blogger is in the running to host his own show, which could either get a weekend slot or bump Ed Schultz from the weekday 8 p.m. hour. The NBC subsidiary would be a solid platform for the wonky Klein—the liberal-leaning channel has been closing the gap with Fox News in the ratings race, especially in the key younger demographics.

Syrian bombs fell on a town held by opposition forces just yards from the Turkish border Monday. Helicopters and warplanes struck the town of Ras Al-Ain, which last week fell under rebel control. The warplane that dropped explosives within a stone’s throw of a frontier fence veered close to the limits of Syrian airspace and may have crossed over into Turkey, according to a Reuters reporter on the ground. Civilians from the Syrian town fled into Turkey as the bombs fell.

Will he leave shoes too big to fill? With Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner bucking to get out of Washington, President Obama has a tough choice ahead in picking his replacement. Among the reported frontrunners are debt-reduction crusader Erskine Bowles and Jack Lew, who served as budget director before becoming White House chief of staff. While Geithner had to deal with propping up the banking sector and managing an auto bailout, whoever comes along next will have challenges no less critical, including striking a deal of deficit reduction and avoiding the “fiscal cliff.”

Various factions from Syria’s opposition had been in talks in Doha, Qatar, this week with little in the way of results, until a tentative agreement was signed Sunday mandating an umbrella coalition. This organization will help the movement see foreign military aid and diplomatic recognition and bring legitimacy to the fighters. “Today in Doha is the first time the different factions of the Syrian opposition are united in one body,” said Riyad Farid Hijab, a former Syrian prime minister. The president of the newly minted National Coalition of Syrian Revolutionary and Opposition Forces is Sheikh Ahmad Moaz al-Khatib, a respected national figure in the country.

Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor was told about David Petraeus’s affair in October, a spokesman for Cantor told CNN. Cantor spoke with a whistleblower about the details of the alleged affair between the former general and his biographer Paula Broadwell, which was uncovered by an FBI investigation. A congressional aide has said that the House and Senate intelligence committees were not told about the affair or the FBI investigation until Friday.

The BBC’s director of news, Helen Broaden, and her deputy have “stepped aside” amid a child-abuse scandal that has rattled the network from the ground floor up. George Entwistle, the director-general of the BBC, resigned Saturday after it was revealed that the network mishandled a series of programs regarding child sex abuse. The controversy began in October and surrounded a program about deceased BBC star Sir Jimmy Savile. The network said in a statement that it planned to “address the lack of clarity around the editorial chain of command” as Broaden handed off her responsibilities.

Why did Petraeus resign days after the election? Why did he resign at all, if the FBI concluded—after a months-long investigation—that they had no criminal case? As Jane Mayer asks in The New Yorker, “What is really going on here?” The timing of Petraeus’s resignation and numerous holes in the investigation and scandal have some wondering whether politics was involved. The investigation began months ago over the Jill Kelley emails, and Petraeus was personally confronted about it two weeks ago, according to The New York Times. And what of the FBI "whistleblower" who told Republicans in Congress about the investigation in October? Seems no one can solve the Petraeus puzzle just yet.

Three’s a crowd. A second woman was identified on Sunday as more news emerged around the career-ending affair of former CIA director David Petraeus. Identified by sources familiar with the FBI investigation as Jill Kelley, the woman was a Petraeus family insider who went to the Feds after getting threatening emails from Broadwell, according to law enforcement officials. “We and our family have been friends with General Petraeus and his family for over five years,” Kelley said in a statement. “We respect his and his family’s privacy and want the same for us and our three children.”

Abu Qatada’s European vacation goes on, much to the chagrin of the British government. The radical Islamic preacher—who’s been convicted of terrorist bomb plots in Jordan—has been on British soil for years. The Special Immigration Appeals Commission ruled against deportation because it wasn’t convinced by the British government that evidence obtained through torture would not be used in the trial. Kept in prison since 2011, Abu Qatada has been referred to as a senior al Qaeda official.

Mike Brown’s out. Mike D’Antoni is in. The Los Angeles Lakers have tapped the former Phoenix Suns coach to lead the team after management’s first choice, Phil Jackson, wanted too much money for the job. There’s already some camaraderie established between D’Antoni and new Laker Steve Nash, one of D’Antoni’s former players. “Obviously I think everyone knows how much I love Mike,” Nash said before the choice was announced. “If [D’Antoni] were to coach, it would be seamless and terrific for me, and I think the team as well.”

He can lead the CIA, but he can’t keep manage his own tangled web of love. Ex-CIA director David Petraeus is reportedly “shocked” that the woman he was having an affair with, biographer Paula Broadwell, allegedly sent anonymous threatening emails to one of his friends. According to the Associated Press, Broadwell was jealous of Petraeus’s friendship with Jill Kelley, and sent notes warning her to stay away from him. Kelley reported the apparently threatening emails, which sparked the investigation that eventually uncovered the affair.

First Petraeus, now Elmo. Sesame Street revealed in a statement that Kevin Clash, the voice behind Elmo, is accused of having a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old. The show was told by a 23-year-old boy that he had an underage relationship with Clash years ago. Clash, 52, denied the allegations, saying that his relationship with the accuser was “between two consenting adults.” Sesame Street says that it has conducted an investigation with all parties involved, and so far the accusations seem “unsubstantiated.” Clash will take a leave of absence.

Time for a 99 percent road trip. President Obama may take his message to the people as he works with Congress to create a debt-reduction cocktail that would include tax hikes for the wealthy as well as spending cuts. House Speaker John Boehner has said that hiking taxes is “unacceptable,” an attitude that may put him on a collision course with the White House as both parties gear up for battle over the looming fiscal cliff. President Obama has said that he would veto any deal that does not include the expiration on tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans.

Hell hath no fury like Holly Petraeus. The wife of the publicly shamed general is reportedly "not exactly pleased right now," according to a former spokesman for Petraeus. Retired U.S. Army Col. Steve Boylan claimed Petraeus told him in a conversation over the weekend that "furious would be an understatement" to characterize how his wife of 38 years is dealing with the scandal. Boylan also said that Petraeus "deeply regrets" the affair and "knows how much pain this has caused his family."