There are no take-backsies in FBI investigations. Jill Kelley learned that the hard way after triggering the probe into a series of threatening emails that ultimately led to the resignation of David Petraeus and the unveiling of a convoluted sex scandal. Kelley initially complained to the FBI after receiving harassing emails eventually traced to Paula Broadwell, Petraeus’s mistress and biographer, but attempted to stop the investigation upon realizing that it could cause her personal life to unravel. (Whoopsie, it has.) In another new development, Broadwell apparently didn’t just send disturbing emails solely to Kelley. She also sent messages denigrating her to senior military officials.

President Obama will begin negotiations over the fiscal Friday, and, gauging by early reports, he plans to play hardball. He will open talks with a proposal to raise $1.6 trillion in new tax revenue from the wealthy over the next decade, which is double the $800 billion that was on the table during discussions in the summer of 2011. Though House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) recently revealed he was open to raising taxes on the wealthy, it’s unlikely that he or GOP leaders will approve a proposal so much more aggressive than what was discussed during the last round of negotiations.

Jill and Scott Kelley, the couple at the center of a scandal that brought down CIA Director David Petraeus, are under even more scrutiny now that the Huffington Post uncovered evidence their cancer charity spent little if any money actually fighting the disease or helping patients. IRS records show the Doctor Kelley Cancer Foundation started with $157,284 and spent exactly that amount before going bankrupt in 2007. Roughly $43,000 was spent on meals and entertainment, $38,600 on travel, $25,000 on legal fees, and $8,800 on automotive expenses. Another $12,800 was spent on office supplies.

France on Tuesday became the first European nation to back the coalition of Syrian opposition forces, following in the steps of the Arab League, which on Monday called the bloc the "legitimate representative" of the country. Opposition groups in Qatar announced on Sunday they had put aside their differences and created a broad-based coalition against Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. The coalition has pledged to set up a transitional government after gaining international recognition. Meanwhile, NATO Secretary-General Anders Fogh Rasmussen said late on Monday that the organization will defend alliance member Turkey if Syrian fighting spills over the border. Rasmussen also welcomed the new coalition.

This just keeps getting weirder. Both Gen. David Petraeus and Gen. John Allen intervened in a custody battle involving the sister of Jill Kelley, the New York Post revealed on Tuesday. Kelley has been linked to both Petraeus—she allegedly first reported the emails Petraeus’s mistress Paula Broadwell sent her as harassment—and Allen, who allegedly sent her between 20,000 to 30,000 pages of “potentially inappropriate” emails. Both Petraeus and Allen wrote letters to family court in support of Kelley’s sister, Natalie Khawan, who was entangled with her ex-husband in a nasty custody battle for their 4-year-old son. Petraeus said he and his wife have known Khawan for three years “through our friendship with Dr. and Mrs. Scott Kelley,” while Allen says he observed Khawan and her son “at command social functions.”

A judge in Cleveland ordered 32-year-old Shena Hardin to hold an “idiot” sign at a crowded intersection after she was caught on camera driving on a sidewalk to pass a school bus that was unloading children. Hardin must stand at a downtown intersection for one hour on Tuesday and Wednesday, as television crews live-stream the event. The sign reads, “Only an idiot would drive on a sidewalk to avoid a school bus.” Hardin also had her license suspended for 30 days and was ordered to pay $250 in court costs.

U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. has been released from the Mayo Clinic, a spokesman confirmed on Tuesday. Jackson had been receiving his second treatment for bipolar disorder in months. The news comes on the heels of rumors that a federal investigation of the congressman’s misuse of campaign funds may now be extending to his wife. Jackson won reelection to a ninth full term of his 2^nd district seat in Chicago despite making few campaign appearances due to his medical leave. Details of Jackson’s current whereabouts are unknown.

The Boston Globe’s Martin Baron will step in as the executive editor of the Washington Post as Marcus Brauchli leaves the position on Dec. 31 to become the Washington Post Co. vice president. Baron has been a Globe editor since 2001, during which time the paper won six Pulitzers, including a Public Service Award in 2003 for its coverage of the abuse in the Catholic Church—although the paper also suffered severe economic hardship and underwent massive restructuring. He helped build Boston.com into one of the nation’s largest newspaper websites, with 6 million monthly unique visitors, and last year created BostonGlobe.com, a subscription-only website.

It’s time for those GIF-ers to YOLO, are we right?! The verb “GIF” is the Oxford American Dictionaries’ 2012 word of the year. GIFs—originally pronounced with a soft “g,” though more  commonly today with a hard “g” (both are acceptable)—lead the news coverage of Eurogeddon, the SuperPAC election, Superstorm Sandy, and the Higgs boson discovery with short animated images. Despite failing to always be compatible with cellular phones (take note Nomophobia sufferers), GIFs evolved from meme-sparker to journalism in 2012. It’s unclear whether there will be any GIF MOOCs. (The other words competing for the title are in bold.)

Collective sigh of relief: One day after the jarring news that Kevin Clash—the voice of Sesame Street’s Elmo for the past 28 years—had been accused of sex with a minor, the accuser has recanted his claim. Although the identity of the now 24-year-old is still unknown, the law firm representing him, Andreozzi & Associates, confirmed his retraction Tuesday evening. “He wants it to be known that his sexual relationship with Mr. Clash was an adult consensual relationship,” the statement reads. Clash has taken a leave of absence from Sesame Street to address the allegations. 

There’s only one thing more entertaining than Liza Minnelli: Kristen Wiig playing Liza Minnelli. Since the latter is busy with other funny business, NBC announced Tuesday that they are bringing in the Queen of Broadway herself to guest star on Smash, returning Feb. 5. The episode, titled “The Surprise Party,” will feature Minnelli singing an original song with regular Christian Borle. NBC Entertainment chairman Robert Greenblatt says the legendary Minnelli is a “perfect fit” for the Broadway-themed drama. Other notable A-listers scheduled to appear on Smash this season include Jennifer Hudson, Jesse L. Martin, Sean Hayes, and Bernadette Peters.

It just gets worse—the sex scandal that brought down Gen. David Petraeus has widened to include Gen. John Allen, the commander of U.S. and NATO troops in Afghanistan, according to the Pentagon. The FBI is investigating between 20,000 and 30,000 pages of “potentially inappropriate” communications since 2010 between Allen and Jill Kelley, the Tampa woman whose initial call to the FBI uncovered Petraeus’s affair with biographer Paula Broadwell. In a statement, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta said Allen would remain in his post while the investigation proceeds but asked the Senate to move up the confirmation of Marine Gen. Joseph Dunford, his likely successor. It is unclear whether Allen will be subject to criminal prosecution—adultery is classified as a crime in the U.S. military.

Good to know there are so many good priorities out there. Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 will be launched on Tuesday—and one in four gamers responded to an IGN poll by saying they would be calling in sick to play it. Interestingly, General Petraeus is featured as Secretary of Defense in the video game. Released for Xbox 360, PS3, PC, and Wii U, the game has clocked in the most Amazon preordered game sales ever. Black Ops 2 centers around in 2025 in a “21st-century Cold War,” with IGN already calling it the “most ambitious and exciting Call of Duty ever made.”

We all know it wasn’t those workout photos. In his first interview since Election Day, GOP vice-presidential nominee Paul Ryan said on Monday that he and Mitt Romney were “surprised” by the loss—but Ryan insisted that his stance on Medicare and budget cuts hadn’t cost them. Although Democrats had once vowed to make Ryan’s hard-line stance on Medicare and budget cuts a serious campaign issue, exit polls showed that Romney-Ryan won seniors 56 percent to 44 percent. Although Ryan conceded that “losing never feels good,” he said he is “very fortunate to have had this experience.” Practice for 2016, maybe?

A British court on Monday granted bail to jailed radical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada after determining that he may not face a fair trial in Jordan, where he is wanted on terrorism charges. Britain’s Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg said on Tuesday that the government is “absolutely determined” to deport Qatada. “He should not be in this country; he is a dangerous person,” Clegg told ITV’s Daybreak. Qatada, whose real name is Omar Othman, has been in British prison for seven years but has never been charged with a crime there.

Now that the election’s over, it’s time to kickstart the Washington job merry-go-round. Rumors are already circulating that President Obama is looking to replace Defense Secretary Leon Panetta with Sen. John Kerry, the senior senator from Massachusetts. Kerry has reportedly wanted the top spot at the State Department, but that job will most likely go to U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, even though she has come under fire for her handling of the aftermath of the Sept. 11 Benghazi attack. John O. Brennan, the president’s principle counterterrorism adviser, may be offered the CIA director position. If he doesn’t take it, Michael Morell, the acting director, is considered the leading candidate.

Was he sleeping with his biographer too? Steven Sinofsky, head of Microsoft’s Windows Division, announced his departure from the company Monday, effective immediately. The move comes just two weeks after Sinofsky led the launch of Microsoft’s Windows 8 and the Surface tablet. He had been with the company since 1989. Unnamed sources say the exit “came amid growing tension between Sinofsky and other top executives” and claim that many higher-ups thought he was “not the kind of team player the company was looking for.” Sinofsky had overseen the Windows Division since July 2009.

For now, Today is focused on tomorrow. Rounding out a plan to regain the top spot in the morning news cycle, the Today show is reportedly bringing on Alexandra Wallace, a senior vice president of NBC News, as the head executive of the show. Today’s ratings slid behind Good Morning America for the first time in 16 years starting this past April. The problem worsened throughout the summer when then–executive producer Jim Bell made the call to fire Ann Curry. According to NBC, Wallace will be the first woman ever to head Today—a smart move by the network, considering that women make up 65 percent of the show’s audience.

President Obama on Tuesday put Gen. John Allen’s nomination for the top commander of NATO in Europe “on hold” in the wake of Allen’s alleged role in the scandal engulfing former CIA director Gen. David Petraeus. Allen, the commander of U.S. and NATO troops in Afghanistan, is under investigation for allegedly sending 20,000 to 30,000 “potentially inappropriate” emails to Jill Kelley. Kelley is the woman who allegedly received threatening emails from Paula Broadwell, who was having an affair with Petraeus—and the FBI investigation into those emails triggered its investigation in Petraeus, which ultimately led to his resignation last week. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta said on Monday that Allen would remain in his position until the confirmation of Marine Gen. Joseph Dunford, his likely successor.

Hope Congress enjoyed that weekend after the election. U.S. lawmakers will return to Washington on Tuesday to tackle the so-called fiscal cliff. They have imposed a seven-week deadline to reach an agreement to avoid having scheduled tax hikes and automatic budget cuts from going into effect at the end of the year. While both Republicans and Democrats generally agree that they need to avoid the $600 billion of draconian budget cuts and that they should be working on creating long-term deficit reduction and revising the tax code, the sides disagree on how to get over the immediate cuts. President Obama is scheduled to meet with top business, civil, and labor leaders on Friday—a meeting that a senior Republican said is expected to help “get the ball rolling” on negotiations.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned this week, it’s not to send emails during illicit affairs. TMZ released an email from Kevin Clash, the man who voices Sesame Street’s Elmo, who wrote that he “can’t stop talking about sex with you” to the man who has accused him of having sex with him when he was a minor. The email was sent in 2010, after the accuser turned 18. Clash has acknowledged having a sexual relationship with the accuser, but has insisted it occurred after the accuser turned 18. In the email, Clash writes, “I want you to know that I love you and I will never hurt you … I’m here to protect you and make sure your dreams come true.”

FBI agents on Monday searched the North Carolina home of Paula Broadwell, the woman at the center of former CIA director David Petraeus’s resignation. Agents left carrying boxes and bags of material, and they appeared to be taking photographs inside the house. They were reportedly looking for any classified or sensitive documents that may have been in Broadwell’s possession. Meanwhile, two longtime military aides to Petraeus said on Monday that the retired four-star general had not intended to resign over the extramarital affair with Broadwell, and did so only after the affair became public.

Are we in for a repeat of the debt ceiling debacle? A majority of Americans say yes, according to a new survey which found most don't think President Obama and Congress will be able to agree on a deal to avoid the effects of the "fiscal cliff," or a package of government spending cuts and tax increases. 53 percent said Republicans in Congress will be at fault, 29 percent said Obama bear the responsibility, and 10 percent said both sides would be to blame. Both parties are heading to Capitol Hill for talks on Friday.

What happens in email doesn’t stay in email. A Defense Department official said Tuesday that the emails between Gen. John Allen and Jill Kelley were “flirtatious”—but the official insisted that Allen denied having an affair with the Tampa socialite. Allen, the U.S. and NATO’s top commander in Afghanistan, has been accused of sending between 20,000-30,000 “inappropriate” emails to Kelley, the woman who reportedly first reported harassing emails from Paula Broadwell, the biographer who had an affair with ex-CIA director David Petraeus. Allen has denied having an extramarital affair and the Defense Dept. official insisted the emails are simply “friendly exchanges.”