Everyone is lawyering up. Paula Broadwell, the biographer whose affair with former CIA head David Petraeus led to his resignation, has hired Washington, D.C. public relations firm Glover Park Group to represent her as she navigates the fallout from the scandal. Jill Kelley, the woman who reported Broadwell to the FBI, is being represented by trial lawyer Abbe Lowell, whose previous clients include John Edwards and Jack Abramoff. Kelley also drafted crisis PR juggernaut Judy Smith, who inspired the character Olivia Pope on the ABC drama Scandal. Kelley’s twin sister, Natalie Khawan, has for some unknown reason hired shameless celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred.

President Obama hasn’t nominated U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice to replace outgoing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton yet, but that isn’t stopping Republicans from preemptively protesting.  Ninety-seven House GOP members—who have no say in the confirmation process—sent the president a letter arguing Rice either “willfully or incompetently misled the American public in the Benghazi affair.” The letter is the latest GOP attempt to block Rice’s nomination, after Sen. John McCain vowed to keep her from the job. Rice has several defenders, who say she based her controversial comments on CIA-vetted intelligence.

Six days into Israel’s airstrikes in Gaza, a spokesperson for the Israeli foreign ministry confirmed that “negotiations are going on” that could lead to a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas, but won’t give further details. The report comes as Israel’s ambassador to the U.S. said Israel has plans for a possible ground invasion. The United Nations Security Council met Monday to discuss a possible condemnation of the conflict, but finished its session with no agreement. Russia blamed the U.S. Monday night for blocking an agreement, while the U.S. says it acted so as not to harm efforts underway in Cairo to broker a truce. The Palestinian death toll soared to 96 Monday after an Israeli aircraft hit a crowded area in Gaza.

Clashes broke out in Cairo Monday night, at the same spot where 42 people were killed in a street battle just one year ago. Hundreds of protesters chanted “the people want to topple the regime” and threw rocks at police, as police fired tear gas and birdshot. An anonymous medical official said that 60 protesters and 10 police officers had been injured, as protesters also tore down a cement block wall in Tahrir Square. The renewed protests have come during the writing of Egypt’s new constitution—many liberals feel the constituent assembly is attempting to include ultraconservative Islamist content.

Syrian opposition leaders, who have been seeking recognition since forming a unified national coalition in Doha on Nov. 11, are being recognized as “legitimate representatives of the aspirations of the Syrian people,” but were rejected by Islamist groups in the country. The EU said Monday it wants to support the group in “relations with the international community," but rebel Islamist groups say they want a religious state. "[We] unanimously reject the conspiratorial project called the National Coalition and announce our consensus to establish an Islamic state" in Syria, a spokesperson for the Syrian Islamist rebel factions said.

Twinkies may yet have an infinite shelf life. Hostess Brands Inc. and one of its largest unions have agreed to go into mediation, so the company will stay in business for the time being. Hostess filed for bankruptcy last Friday, claiming a union strike ruined its operations and announcing plans to lay off all 18,500 of its employees. But a bankruptcy judge on the case said the dueling parties have to go through mediation before Hostess Inc. can sell off its assets. It won’t be a cake walk, but at least you can cancel your $1,000 Ho Ho bid on eBay.

He didn’t plot to kill and eat women, he just fantasized about it. That’s what the lawyer of the NYPD ‘Cannibal Cop’ said in court Monday after her client pleaded not guilty to charges of conspiring to abduct, cook, and eat as many as 100 women. Gilberto Valle, 28, was arrested last month after his estranged wife tipped off authorities and indicted on Friday for kidnapping, conspiracy, and illegally accessing a law-enforcement database. Valle’s lawyer said he was never a threat, and that emails to an unidentified co-conspirator “discussing plans to kidnap, rape, torture, kill, cook, and eat body parts of a number of women” were just pure fantasy. We’ll see how the jury swallows that one.

David Beckham announced on Monday that the Dec. 1 Major League Soccer Cup game will be his last with the L.A. Galaxy. Beckham signed with the team in January 2007 and played in Los Angeles for six seasons. The midfielder, who led the team to three MLS Cup tourneys, already has one championship win under his belt. Beckham's considerable star power helped popularize soccer in America, drawing large crowds to games. But he's not gone for good. Beckham said he sees being part of the MLS "ownership structure" as part of his future.

Well, Newark Mayor Cory Booker isn’t afraid to be a hero. From pulling a neighbor from a burning building to fixing a traffic light, the colorful mayor is taking his hands-on approach to a new level by announcing he’ll go on food stamps for a year. On Sunday night, he got into a debate with a Twitter user over whether the government is responsible for making sure school kids get proper nutrition. When asked, “Why there is a family today that is ‘too poor’ to afford breakfast?” Booker shot back a challenge. “Lets you and I try to live on food stamps in New Jersey (high cost of living) and feed a family for a week or month. U game?” University of Bridgeport offered to referee, and the contest is on. Just one question: how will he qualify exactly?

Is there a new criminal charge in Lindsay Lohan’s bright and shining future? TMZ reports that a criminal case is pending against Lohan after she allegedly falsely told Santa Monica cops that she wasn’t driving her car when she got into an accident last June. Sources tell the gossip news site that when Lohan is arraigned, the judge will revoke her probation on the grounds it was violated (since at that time she was on probation for the jewelry case), and set a full hearing.

The Hollywood disclaimer that “no animals were harmed during the making of this movie” may have to be altered for the upcoming film The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Animal wranglers working on the Hobbit trilogy are blaming the production company for the deaths of up to 27 animals—including horses, goats, chicken, and one sheep—who were reportedly cramped into a decrepit farm where they fell prey to bluffs, sinkholes, and other “death traps.” The American Humane Association, which is monitoring the welfare of 150 animals housed for the Hobbit films near Wellington, New Zealand, said that no animals were harmed during the actual filming process. But it admitted that the wranglers’ complaints highlight the production company’s failure to make sure the facility where the animals are housed and trained was in good condition. 

The housing market has entered the stage of full-on recovery, according to the National Association of Realtors’ latest reading of the market. In October, existing home sales were up 10.9 percent from October 2011, while prices were up 11.1 percent. Compared with a year ago, the number of homes for sale in October 2012 was off 22 percent. To recap: inventory way down, prices and volume up significantly.

Representatives of both Hamas and Israel held separate meetings with leaders in Egypt Sunday after an Israeli bomb killed 11 people in Gaza earlier in the day. Seventy Palestinians have been killed since Wednesday, including 20 children, pushing Hamas toward its newly Islamist neighbors, like Egypt, for support. Hamas officials say there’s only one condition that will put an end to the string of rocket attacks on Israel: an overthrow of the blockade of the Gaza territory that would allow for free movement of people and goods in and out of Gaza along with a guarantee that Israel will stop all attacks. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has threatened to "significantly expand" military operations.

Not to be outdone by itself, the finale of the Twilight series has shown the box office who's boss. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2 hauled in $141.3 million domestically at the box office, with a worldwide gross of a whopping $340.9 million. The last of the cult-followed series landed eighth on the list of all-time domestic debuts, along with two other films in the saga. The vampires even managed to bump James Bond's Skyfall down a notch on the box office list, to second place.

Day six. Israeli forces reported striking 80 targets and killing 14 Palestinians overnight as violence in the Gaza Strip continued Monday. At least 75 rockets were fired from Gaza into Israel on Sunday by Hamas militants, and retaliatory Israeli airstrikes killed 12 civilians in a two-story house, among other casualties. While representatives from both Israel and Hamas met in Egypt to negotiate an end to the fighting, Israel repeated threats to send in ground forces Monday. Finance Minister Yuval Steinitz told Israeli media that the decision to expand operations would be “a matter of hours, not even days.”

Stop. Gangnam time. MC Hammer joined South Korean pop sensation Psy on stage at the American Music Awards on Sunday to perform his hit song “Gangnam Style.” Everyone from Chinese activist Ai Weiwei to Madonna has gotten in on the song and its goofy horse dance, and the ’90s star was the latest to ham it up. Psy wore the harem pants MC Hammer made iconic in his music video for the song “U Can’t Touch This.”

President Obama praised Nobel Peace Prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi in the first visit by a sitting U.S. president to Burma on Monday. Speaking from the activist’s home, Obama said, “It is here where she showed that human freedom and human dignity cannot be denied.” Suu Kyi spent years under house arrest as a result of her activism against the country’s repressive regime. Obama also met with President Thein Sein, who has initiated a series of economic and political reforms in the country since 2011.

American companies are scaling back investments amid uncertainty over the “fiscal cliff”—but markets abroad are more optimistic. A Wall Street Journal analysis found that some major American companies plan to slash capital expenditures this year and to put a hold on other big projects. In the short term, however, markets around the world rallied Monday as investors said they were hopeful that politicians in the U.S. would set aside their differences and strike a deal on the fiscal cliff.

Walmart workers plan to mount a series of strikes on Black Friday—but shoppers might walk right past the picket line and in to the deals. The planned series of 1,000 protests on and before one of the biggest shopping days of the year was organized by the United Food and Commerical Workers union. So far, efforts to unionize workers at the big-box retailer have not been successful. The latest protests, too, may amount to nothing. Walmart CFO Charles Holley said in a Nov. 15 earnings call that he was “not aware of any major disruptions that are going to happen Black Friday.”

Going to San Francisco? Pack light. Residents there have been letting the cool Bay Area airs tickle their private bits since last year when a city ordinance passed that put only light restrictions on public nudity. But the freedoms some San Franciscans have taken with their new right to publicly disrobe now have other residents crying for a ban on parading about town in your birthday suit. There would be broad exceptions—people could still bare their bottoms for a public flogging at the Folsom Street Fair, for example.

She could really use a mentor to get her out of this one. Paula Broadwell has told friends that she’s devastated by the damage caused by her affair with former CIA director David Petraeus, a source told The Associated Press. Broadwell has been camped out at her brother’s home with her husband and two sons since her liaison with the retired general became known. She returned home to North Carolina on Sunday, however, and was reportedly welcomed back by friends and neighbors.

More Palestinian civilians died Monday as Israel continued strikes against rocket-firing Hamas militants in Gaza. Forty-two people were injured in an airstrike that hit two houses, a Gaza health official said, killing four people, including two children. At least 11 civilians died in a Sunday strike against a two-story home that came after Israel said it would pursue attacks against the residences of Hamas activists. Most of the 11 victims were women and children. Fifty civilians are thought to be among the 87 Palestinians killed over six days of fighting.

Er, just kidding? Sheldon Stephens, the 23-year-old model who received a $125,000 out-of-court settlement from Elmo voice actor Kevin Clash last week, is now recanting yet again. Stephens had initially said that he and Clash began a seven-year relationship when he was 16 and Clash was 45. But as part of the settlement last week, Stephens had released a statement saying the relationship “was an adult, consensual relationship.” However, Stephens is now saying that he was “pressured” into signing the settlement and that he is “interviewing lawyers” so that he can return it.

Soak it up, media junkies. Newsweek and The Daily Beast’s editor-in-chief gives a candid Q&A to magazine veteran Michael Kinsley in this week’s New York, discussing the demise of her magazine’s print edition and sharing thoughts on David Petraeus, Hillary Clinton, and more. “Let’s face it—when I look back on it, taking over Newsweek, it just seems completely insane,” Brown says, citing a horrific ad climate and the $42 million cost of the printing process alone. Elsewhere, Brown calls David Petraeus’s affair “piffling” and hopes for a “short and dignified” penance. Brown also says she’d “hike across America” in support of Hillary Clinton if she were to run for president in 2016.

The Hamas rocket attacks on Israel must end, President Obama told Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi on Monday. The two leaders were discussing ways to cut down on the cross-border fighting in Gaza and “underscored the necessity of Hamas ending rocket fire into Israel,” according to the White House. In a separate call to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Obama also expressed his regret for the loss of Israeli and Palestinian lives the conflict has caused.

Afghan President Hamid Karzai is ordering aides to complete the "full Afghanization" of the prison at the American air base in Bagram. Karzai tweeted a message to supporters Sunday night, saying the U.S. is still holding several Afghan prisoners, despite an agreement to release them to local authorities. Afghanistan's defense minister, attorney general, and national police chief were ordered to take control of the Bagram prison, but they weren't given a time line for the move. Afghan politicians say Karzai is trying to influence the final security agreement being hammered out by diplomats in advance of the U.S. troop withdrawal in 2014.

Good news for a financial environment that’s been panicked over the fiscal-cliff debacle. The stock market surged Monday after a new index of home builders showed the group’s confidence level climbing 5 points. It was the biggest surge in two months, after optimistic hints from President Obama that Congress will reach a deal before the fiscal cliff. “It is quite clear both sides want to come to a compromise and that a reasonable compromise is available,” said David Kelly, chief global strategist at JPMorgan Funds.

The Palestinian death toll soared to 96 Monday after an Israeli aircraft hit a crowded area in Gaza. A senior Israeli official close to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said that Israel is prepared to send ground troops into Gaza, though it prefers a diplomatic end to the crisis. In preparation, Netanyahu has called up 75,000 military reservists and mobilized nearly half. Also reportedly open to negotiations, the leader of Hamas is nevertheless taking a tough stance, claiming Israel must "meet Hamas' demands for a lifting of the blockade of Gaza" before a truce will be made.