C. Everett Koop, the Reagan-era surgeon general who brought both AIDS awareness and an epic beard to America, has passed away at his home in Hanover, New Hampshire, officials at the Geisel School of Medicine at Dartmouth announced Monday. Koop served as surgeon general from 1981 to 1989 and is best known for his frank, 36-page 1986 report on AIDS that discussed how the disease spreads, how it does not spread, and how people can protect themselves. An eight-page version of the report was mailed to every household in America in 1988. Koop remained head of the C. Everett Koop Institute at Dartmouth into his later years, but told reporters at a news conference in 2010 that he was "very, very deaf" and legally blind.

President Obama is trying to persuade lawmakers to agree to “just a little bit of compromise,” to avoid $85 billion in across-the-board budget cuts that will go into effect if a deal is not reached by Friday. “At some point we’ve got to do some governing," Obama said Monday. "And certainly what we can’t do is keep careening from manufactured crisis to manufactured crisis.” While the clock is ticking, a sequester-avoidance deal between the White House and Congress is still nowhere in sight. Republicans have so far shot down any plan of the president’s that involves tax hikes. 

Italy’s Democratic Party is in the lead, according to the latest Election Day polls. The booths are now closed, after two days of voting, and the center-left Democrats look poised to carry 35 percent of the vote. Silvio Berlusconi's center-right People of Freedom Party, on the other hand, will likely win 29 percent. While the Democrats’ lead confirms long-held predictions, it’s unclear whether they can garner enough support from both houses of Parliament to guide Italy’s economy to a successful future. Official results of the election—considered one of the most important in the country’s recent history—will be coming in over the next few hours. 

Is spring really going to come soon? Not in the Plains states: the region hunkered down on Monday as, what the National Weather Service called “a crippling, historic blizzard" hit Texas, Oklahoma and threatened parts of Kansas and Missouri. The Texas Panhandle was receiving 2 to 3 inches of snow each hour and roads are impassable after all the snowplows were pulled out. Oklahoma has been getting the brunt as well, with 16 inches of snow expected in the whiteout. The storm is also expected to affect the Southeast, with tornadoes feared in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, and the Florida panhandle. Last week, a massive storm slammed the region, dumping 18 inches of snow in parts of Kansas and 13 inches in northern Missouri.

Things just keep getting worse at the Vatican. Britain’s top Catholic cleric, Cardinal Keith O’Brien, resigned on Monday as archbishop of St. Andrews and Edinburgh amid allegations of inappropriate behavior with priests. O’Brien will not be allowed to participate in the papal election for Pope Benedict’s successor, leaving Britain without a representative. He was set to retire after taking part in the papal election. On Sunday, Britain’s Observer reported that three priests and one former priest had complained to the pope’s representative in Britain about O’Brien’s behavior, with the former priest accusing O’Brien of making sexual advances toward him in 1980. The complainant said he resigned as a priest “to preserve [his] integrity” after O’Brien became a bishop. 

Assembling your furniture yourself, eat some horse meatballs. Inspectors said on Monday that they had found horsemeat in Swedish-style meatballs that were going to be sold at Ikea outlets in the Czech Republic. The horsemeat was labeled as beef and pork, inspectors said. Some 1,675 pounds of Swedish-style meatballs were pulled before reaching the shelves, the Associated Press reported. The latest in the horsemeat scandal coincides with Monday’s meeting of European Union ministers in Brussels, where they are expected to address the growing scandal.

Welcome to the international stage, say hi to Psy and then issue a warning about North Korea. South Korea on Monday inaugurated its first female president, Park Geun-hye, who promptly warned North Korea that it will suffer the most if it continues pursuing its nuclear program. Park, 61, is the daughter of Park Chung-hee, who oversaw South Korea’s huge growth on the international stage but was often reviled for his iron-fisted rule. He was assassinated 34 years ago, and his daughter’s election late last year had been carried mainly by older voters who still remembered his glory days. At Monday’s inauguration—which included a performance by “Gangnam Style” rapper Psy—Park promised “economic rejuvenation” of South Korea.

Brooklyn Assemblyman Dov Hikind probably should have foreseen his use of blackface would cause outrage. The politician, an Orthodox Jew, apologized Monday for donning the makeup as part of a basketball-player costume for Purim. “In hindsight, I should have picked something else. It never crossed my mind for a split second that I was doing something wrong. It was as innocent as something can be,” he said. “My wife was dressed as the devil. And she’s not a devil. It was to look different on Purim without deep intentions. I just wanted to look different and unrecognizable.”

Where is the apology to all of our eyes, which have the memory of this tweet burned into them? The Onion swiftly apologized on Monday for tweeting during the Oscars that 9-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis is “kind of a c--t.” In a Facebook post, the editors of the satirical publication wrote that the tweet was “crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting.” During Sunday night’s Oscars telecast, The Onion had been tweeting satirical comments about the ceremony, host, and nominees. At about 8 p.m., it tweeted “everyone else is afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a c--t, right? #Oscars2013” The tweet was deleted within in an hour, but had already sparked outraged comments on Twitter.

First Jaws, now Lincoln: Steven Spielberg must be getting used to Oscar upsets by now. The Lincoln director did not take home the Best Director trophy in one of the biggest surprises of Sunday’s Oscar ceremony, losing to Life of Pi’s Ang Lee. Spielberg had once seemed the inevitable choice for the critically acclaimed biopic—as had the seven other films of his that were nominated and lost in the past. BuzzFeed suggests Hollywood's love for watching its mighty fall is to blame for Spielberg’s series of snubs. The acclaimed and successful director has only been awarded for direction twice: in 1994 for Schindler's List and in 1999 for Saving Private Ryan.

In 2018, Cuba will have one less Castro in power. President Raúl Castro accepted his new five-year term on Sunday, but announced that it would be his last. The 81-year-old leader added that he wants to create a two-term limit and age cutoff for political offices. The country has been led by Fidel and Raúl Castro since 1959. Raúl called it a moment of “historic transendence.” He named his successor as Miguel Diaz-Canel, a rising political star.

Argo didn’t just win Best Picture—it was announced by the all-time best presenting team: Jack Nicholson and a surprise (albeit remote) appearance by the one and only Michelle Obama. A panicked Ben Affleck made a mile-a-minute speech thanking “everyone on the movie, in the movie, who had anything to do with the movie.” Earlier, a very gracious Ang Lee took home the Best Director Oscar for Life of Pi, a surprise win over Steven Spielberg. “Thank you, movie God,” Lee said in his speech. Before, a leather-tie clad Quentin Tarantino made a lively speech accepting the award for Best Original Screenplay for Django Unchained.

Say it ain't so, Bey! The blog Sahara Reporters claims to have uncovered a letter that suggests $1 million of poverty funds from Nigerian state Bayelsa were spent by then-Governor Goodluck Jonathan on bringing Beyoncé and Jay-Z to visit in 2006. The letter, from ThisDay owner Nduka Obaigbena to the state, was written to solicit funds for the country's 46th independence celebrations, where Beyoncé sang the Nigerian national anthem. There is no indication of how much of the funds went directly to performers or whether Beyoncé or Jay-Z were aware of where the funds came from. 

What’s that Family Guy joke about the voice actor who, along with William Shatner, walked into a room of Hollywood elite and said the word “boob”? While the Internet response to Seth MacFarlane’s Oscars night has ranged from “meh” to “he bombed,” some comedians gave him a thumbs-up. Andy Samberg said he liked “the goofier stuff,” admitting that it was impossible to host the Oscars well. Sarah Silverman thought the host was “soooo great,” especially his Lincoln-assassination joke. And Jennifer Lawrence thought MacFarlane was “hilarious,” which should count for something. It’s not all bad though: some people realized he’s kind of hot.

The International Herald Tribune will be renamed The International New York Times, the company’s CEO announced Monday. The change will take place this fall. In a statement, the New York Times Co. CEO Mark Thompson said the change is the result of the “digital revolution” making the newspaper’s flagship brand “one of the world’s best-known news providers.” “We want to exploit that opportunity,” Thompson said. A Times spokesperson did not comment on how the change would affect the company’s employees.

It really was a crazy day at the races. After a huge crash left dozens injured, the 2013 Daytona 500 has a winner: Jimmie Johnson. But most of the attention seems focused on racing’s woman of the hour, Danica Patrick, who took eighth place. Last week, Patrick became the first woman to win the pole for a Spring Cup Series race. In that spirit, Grand Marshal James Franco even had a strange order to kick things off this morning: “Drivers—and Danica—start your engines!”

Iceland is looking to narrow down the definition of pornography—from Potter Stewart’s “I know it when I see it.”—as the government has begun drafting a proposal that would ban pornography on the Internet in what they say is an effort to protect children from violent imagery. Lawmakers insist they are not looking to censor anything and will define pornography only as material with violent or degrading content. “When a 12-year-old types ‘porn’ into Google, he or she is not going to find photos of naked women out on a country field, but very hardcore and brutal violence,” said Halla Gunnarsdottir, political adviser to the interior minister. Pornography is already banned in Iceland, but since it isn’t defined, it is not largely enforced.

Washington is not going to be a fun place this week. The White House on Sunday released 51 fact sheets explaining how the looming spending cuts, known as the sequester, would affect each state individually as lawmakers prepared for a week of fighting. If the $1.2 trillion worth of cuts go into effect as planned, the Washington area will be hard hit—especially since most of the area involves government workers—and nearly 150,000 Defense Department personnel will be partially furloughed through the end of September. Meanwhile, Republicans accused the White House of exaggerating the effects of the cuts, and Democrats claimed Republicans are using the cuts as leverage to avoid reducing tax breaks for the wealthy and corporations.