The Capital Weather Gang over at The Washington Post is calling the storm Snowquester, because it collides with the start of the sequester and both are expected to be awful—get it? Heavy winds and snow starting Tuesday night and into Wednesday pose a threat for dangerous travel conditions and possible power outages in D.C.’s Virginia and Maryland suburbs, while two to three inches and impaired travel are also expected inside the Beltway.

Alarmed by the prospect of drone strikes in the U.S.? Not to fear, says the White House. In a letter obtained by NBC News, Attorney General Eric Holder called the entire notion of drone strikes inside the U.S. “entirely hypothetical” and “unlikely to occur.” He said that the only occasion that such a measure will be taken is in response to “an extraordinary circumstance,” such as the Sept. 11 attack or the bombing of Pearl Harbor. In response, Sen. Rand Paul called Holder’s refusal to rule out stateside drone strikes “more than frightening.”

Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez is dead at the age of 58, Vice President Nicolas Maduro confirmed Tuesday. Already in delicate condition after undergoing cancer surgery in December, Chávez took a turn for the worse Monday when he began suffering from “a new, severe infection.” His funeral will be held on Friday, and until then, Venezuela's foreign minister says the nation is in a state of "total normality." Elections will be held in 30 days, with Maduro acting as president until then. 

Drones, shmones. The Senate Intelligence Committee voted in John Brennan as the next director of the CIA on Tuesday afternoon. Currently President Obama's counterterrorism adviser, Brennan has been a controversial figure regarding the United States' use of drone strikes. But the White House agreed to supply the committee with classified memos detailing legal rationale for the attacks ahead of the vote. Brennan still has to pass a vote by the full Senate before officially taking the position. Just watch yourself around biographers, sir.

The man who's suspected in a Brooklyn crash that killed a young Hasidic couple and their premature baby is apparently ready to surrender. “My heart goes out to them,” Julio Acevedo said Tuesday in a phone call with the New York Daily News. “I didn’t know they died until I saw the news.” Acevedo, who has a long rap sheet including a manslaughter conviction, is obtaining a lawyer before surrendering. He told the Daily News that he was fleeing from gunshots when he hit the cab hired to take Nachman Glauber and his wife, Raizel, to the hospital on Sunday. He says he fled the scene because he was scared someone was shooting at him.

Don't worry, Venezuela, Obama's got your back. The president released a statement on Tuesday in the hours after Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez's death, affirming support for the country's people and a constructive relationship with their government. The death marks a challenging time for Venezuela, Obama says in the statement, but the U.S. is committed to promoting democratic principles, human rights, and the rule of law. The president extended his support despite Chávez's penchant for drumming up anti-American sentiment in Venezuela because of a failed 2002 attempt to overthrow him, which Chávez's inner circle has claimed was the work of the United States.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average smashed through its October 2007 record to close at a new high of 14,253.77. Stocks soared nearly 1 percent on the day, as investors shrugged off the slow-motion sequester and focused instead on prospects for growth in China and economic data that indicated the vital service sector is expanding.

Let's just hope this isn't a rule of threes thing. Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger was admitted to New York-Presbyterian Hospital on Tuesday after falling in his home. His injuries are unknown, but according to the hospital, the 89-year-old was expected to be discharged later in the day. We can only imagine it had something to do with a late reaction to finding out Dennis Rodman is holding meetings with our country’s enemies.

Bill O’Reilly, this is your moment to shine! Jon Stewart is taking a 12-week hiatus from hosting Comedy Central’s The Daily Show this summer to focus on his film directing debut. Veteran correspondent John Oliver will be his sub. Stewart has written the script for Rosewater, which is based on a book that tells the story of BBC journalist Maziar Bahari, who ended up in a notoriously brutal prison camp for 118 days during Iran’s June 2009 presidential elections. Stewart will produce the film with Hollywood bigwigs Scott Rudin and Gigi Pritzker.

At least two Americans are mourning the death of Venezuelan leader Hugo Chávez. Actor Sean Penn and filmmaker Oliver Stone released statements expressing grief after the long-time president passed away Tuesday afternoon. "Today the people of the United States lost a friend it never knew it had. And poor people around the world lost a champion," Penn said in a statement to The Hollywood Reporter. "I lost a friend I was blessed to have. My thoughts are with the family of President Chavez and the people of Venezuela." Stone called Chavez " a great hero," and said he would "live forever in history."

After The Washington Post tried to dump cold water on a scandal the conservative Daily Caller has been hyping for months, Rep. Robert Menendez’s alleged fling with two prostitutes in the Dominican Republic, the Caller says the paper got the story entirely wrong. The Post interviewed a young woman named Nexis de los Santos Santana, who said she had been hired by a lawyer to tell a false story to journalists, which she was told was needed for a divorce case. Her account seemed to take the wind out of the Caller’s crusade, but the site now says they interviewed two different women, not including Santana. Santana claims in the Post story that she was “surreptitiously taped,” but the Caller contends that both of the women interviewed for its story consented to the presence of a webcam.

Dennis Rodman may love North Korea, but it’s not loving America back: the country’s Army spokesman said Tuesday that North Korea would cancel its 1953 ceasefire agreement with South Korea amid rumors that China is collaborating with the U.S. on a series of harsh resolutions to be circulated at the U.N. The resolutions are a sign that China, a longtime ally of North Korea, has grown increasingly unhappy with the regime’s behavior. North Korea claims that its military, which conducted its third nuclear test on February 12, is necessary because of American hostility.

We all know when it happens: media reports describe drone attacks, Pakistani officials confirm the death toll and complain, and the CIA stays mum. But not this time: after two drone attacks killed up to 10 people in February, including two senior al Qaeda members, American officials say they had nothing to do with them. “They were not ours,” one official said. “We haven’t had any kinetic activity since January.” Though Pakistani officials made formal complaints, three American officials speculated to The New York Times that, in fact, the Pakistanis carried out the strikes, which hit a remote part of the country. The U.S. denial may not exactly be convincing when it refuses officially even to confirm the existence of its drone program, but speaking up at all is a rare move.

We’ve all heard about the horrible things in store for the country after Congress and the White House failed to reach a deal to stop the sequester: dramatic spending cuts that will lead to job losses and derail America’s economic recovery. Now House Republicans are getting worried that their party, which has even more spending cuts in the works, will get blamed for the pain. “I know a number of people who have real concerns about where this is going,” said Rep. Peter King. To bring its extremist members on board a deal to raise the debt ceiling, the GOP had to promise another round of spending cuts without any increased revenue, which Rep. Paul Ryan will present next week. Democrats said they were salivating over the framework and plan to bring out the “bad politics” of the move.

There’s quite the crack security team over at the popeapalooza. A man pretending to be a bishop managed to sneak past Vatican security Monday, took a photo with the real Italian Cardinal Sergio Sebastiani, and attempted to infiltrate pope talks with his entourage of fake clerics before being stopped by another security team outside the Sistine Chapel. The impostor, identified as Ralph Napierski, was a German man who claimed to be part of the nonexistent Catholic group Corpus Dei. Napierski’s giveaway? A shoddy costume—his cassock was much too short, his purple sash was clearly a winter scarf, and instead of a clergy’s scullcap he wore a black fedora.

Remember the Golden Globes, where Amy Poehler and Tina Fey joke-commanded Taylor Swift to stay away from Michael J. Fox's son? Swift, it turns out, is not amused. The pop singer, who appears on this month's cover of Vanity Fair, said in response to the incident, "You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, 'There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.'" Swift also "authorized" an anonymous source to talk to Vanity Fair about her former flame Harry Styles. "The whole time she says she feels like he's looking at every girl," the source said of Swift's time with Styles. And in case you were wondering, Swift also says that she has dated only two men since 2010, thank you very much.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average on Tuesday morning surpassed its all-time intra-day of 14,198. An early rally sent the Dow above 14,200, thus establishing a new high-water mark. The Dow has now recovered all the ground it had lost since the fall of 2007. The Dow’s average fell a whopping 54 percentage points after its 2007 peak, reaching its bottom of 6,547 in March 2009. “It’s a testament to what the Fed has done and what investors have done to move beyond the financial crisis,” said Jack Ablin of Chicago’s BMO Private Bank. No word yet on what the Fed is planning to do about mass unemployment.

Congratulations, Hilary Mantel, Justin Bieber has arrived on angel wings to take your place as the target of British outrage. The Biebs made young fans and parents livid by showing up two hours late to a show at London’s O2 arena, making his first appearance at 10:35 p.m., right when the show was supposed to be over. Parents with 8-year-old kids left the show before it started and took to Twitter to express their fury after being told they could be home by 11 p.m. Bieber, who made his grand entrance in a giant pair of angel wings, later tweeted an apology for his tardiness.

Just weeks after its famous meatballs tested positive for horse meat, the Swedish furniture retailer IKEA is recalling cakes in 23 countries. The reason? Chinese officials detected coliform bacteria, which is present in fecal matter. China has stepped up its food inspections after several scandals, and destroyed nearly two tons of IKEA chocolate cake after the inspection. (Also getting the boot were Kraft cream cheese and Nestle chocolate bars.) IKEA said the cakes were destroyed in China in November and December, but the company only learned of the incident on Monday. 

Turns out the voice of the people isn’t gauging opinions as well as you might think. Twitter is decidedly partisan, skewing more liberal or more conservative than true public opinion. Analysis of reactions of the social media site for major events such as President Obama’s reelection showed they were much more positive than nationwide conversation. And when Twitter users reacted unfavorably to Obama’s State of the Union address, the public viewed it more positively. The two events that Twitter and public opinion aligned? Mitt Romney picking Paul Ryan as a running mate, and the Supreme Court’s health-care ruling.

Things are not looking good for the cancer-stricken president of Venezuela, whose health the media has followed closely. The 58-year-old Chávez has fallen ill with a “severe” respiratory infection, another complication from his cancer and chemotherapy treatment. A spokesman said his health is currently “very delicate” after the latest infection, which followed four rounds of surgery over the past two years. Chávez’s death is expected to send Venezuela, which he has ruled for more than a decade, into political turmoil. The opposition is expected to contest Chávez’s government-picked successor, and several candidates have already begun campaigning for the role.

Kenyans eager to vote in the nation’s general election endured more than six hours in line in some areas on Monday—and kept voting stations open past the official closing time. Counting got under way Monday night, and an elections official estimated a 70 percent turnout of the country’s 14 million registered voters. The manpower of 99,000 police officers kept Kenya from seeing the extreme violence of the 2007 election; still, at least 19 people were violently killed right as polls opened this morning in the coastal city of Mombasa.

As soon as 2050, ships will be able to sail directly across what is known as the “northern route,” cutting through what used to be solid ice as late-summer Arctic sea ice disappears. Russian icebreakers and other fortified ships have already been taking the shortcut: a total of 46 ships took the northern route in 2012, mostly escorted by icebreakers. But in less than 40 years, according to a study published this week, regular ships will be able to make the trip easily, and slightly fortified ships will be able to take a super-fast route directly across. The shortcut will enormously cut the costs of trade between Europe and China, which will open the floodgates for even more potentially devastating economic activity.

It’s one of the saddest stories of the year so far: a 21-year-old Hasidic Jewish couple, expecting their first baby, killed in a car accident in Brooklyn Sunday. Their four-pound baby survived after being delivered by C-section, giving the story a bittersweet twist until he, too, passed away the next day. Now, local news reports the driver who allegedly caused the accident has a long history of run-ins with the law, including arrests for driving under the influence and a decade-long prison sentence for manslaughter. Julio Acevedo, 40, was driving at twice the speed limit on a residential street Sunday when he struck the couple’s vehicle.

Over 1,000 flights to and from Chicago have been canceled after a winter storm began pounding the Midwest on Monday night and continued to dump snow on the city. The storm is expected to continue moving through the Appalachian Mountains for the rest of the week. On Monday, blizzard warnings were in effect in parts of Montana and North Dakota. Snowfall is expected to fall up to one inch per hour in some areas, and up to six inches is expected to fall in Chicago by Tuesday morning. At least 270 flights were canceled by Monday night, and 100 flights were already canceled out of O’Hare for Tuesday. The storm will move east on Wednesday, hitting the District and the Baltimore area. At least it will give the area something to think about other than the sequester.