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  1. COMPROMISE House Reaches Deal on Immigration Jacquelyn Martin/AP

    1. House Reaches Deal on Immigration

    Looks like some people are getting a little afraid of President Obama taking this Bulworth thing seriously. A bipartisan group of House representatives on Thursday reportedly reached a deal to overhaul the nation’s immigration laws—although the details still remained unclear. The deal comes after a group of senators filed their own version of the immigration bill last month. The House group said their bill would be ready for June hearings. A deal would be a major victory for Obama in the middle of an absolutely miserable week for the White House, since the president has long stated his commitment to immigration reform. But none of the House reps would discuss their bill, just saying that there will be “a lot of differences” from the Senate version. Oh goody, more things to disagree about.

    May 16, 2013 10:38 PM

  2. NEW DAY Obama Names Acting IRS Chief Charles Dharapak/AP

    2. Obama Names Acting IRS Chief

    Who doesn’t love coming into a government agency in the middle of a scandal? Welcome to the IRS, Daniel Werfel. President Obama on Thursday named Werfel the acting commissioner of the IRS. Werfel, who is said to have a good relationship with the Senate Republicans, currently runs the day-to-day operations at the Office of Management and Budget. Werfel comes into the IRS just one day after acting commissioner Steven Miller resigned amid a scandal over the agency’s targeting of conservative groups for investigation into their tax-exempt status.

    May 16, 2013 3:49 PM

  3. GET OUT

    3. Another IRS Official to Resign

    And another IRS official bites the dust. Joseph Grant, the commissioner of the agency’s tax-exempt and government entities, will resign June 3, according to an IRS memo obtained by the Associated Press on Thursday. Grant oversaw the division that targeted Tea Party groups for investigation into their tax-exempt status. The acting IRS commissioner, Steven Miller, was forced to resign Wednesday after the scandal continued to escalate throughout Washington.

    May 16, 2013 5:06 PM

  4. DISORGANIZED

    4. DOJ Loses Some Suspected Terrorists

    The Justice Department just cannot catch a break this week. The U.S. Marshals Service has essentially lost track of two known or suspected terrorists, and it’s all the DOJ’s fault. The persons in question formerly participated in the federal Witness Security Program and should have been on the government's “no-fly” list, but the Justice Department failed to provide the agency responsible for the list with the names of several suspected terrorists, and as a result some of them were able to make it onto commercial airplanes without being apprehended. A report from the inspector general notes that confusion within the DOJ over the identities of Witness Security Program participants was just one of several “significant issues concerning national security.”

    May 16, 2013 1:51 PM

  5. ‘COOL AGAIN’ Report: Yahoo in Talks to Buy Tumblr Timothy Hiatt/Getty Images

    5. Report: Yahoo in Talks to Buy Tumblr

    Watch out, Yahoo, Tumblr has a history of changing its mind suddenly (R.I.P., Storyboard). Yahoo is apparently in talks to buy Tumblr, the New York–based blogging site, according to All Things D on Thursday night. If the reports are true, it would certainly fit into Yahoo CFO Chris Goldman’s recent comments that Yahoo needs to become “cool again.” It will certainly be expensive for Yahoo: Tumblr is reportedly stepping up efforts to raise the company’s valuation to $1 billion. The latest estimations put Tumblr’s value near $800 million. Representatives from Yahoo and Tumblr have not yet commented.

    May 16, 2013 9:07 PM

  6. CHATTERBOX Madoff Can’t Afford Prison Phone Call Hiroko Masuike / Getty Images News

    6. Madoff Can’t Afford Prison Phone Call

    Bernie Madoff can’t get anything on credit anymore—not even a prison phone call. Madoff called CNN Money collect for an exclusive interview that was posted on Thursday, telling them that he “can’t sleep” thinking about all of his misdeeds. Madoff said he used to work as a clerk, but now he has been reassigned to telephone and computer systems, but he works only “a few hours” a day, which gives him plenty of time to think. “I was responsible for my son Mark’s death and that’s very, very difficult,” Madoff said. Madoff is serving a 150-year sentence for stealing more than $1 billion from investors in the largest Ponzi scheme in U.S. history.

    May 16, 2013 10:52 PM

  7. RECOVERY

    7. ‘Killer Nanny’ Victims’ Parents Having a Baby

    The New York City parents whose nanny allegedly murdered two of their children in October are having another baby, they announced Thursday on Facebook. “We are filled with many emotions as we look to the future, but the most important one is hope,” Marina and Kevin Krim wrote on the Facebook page set up in memory of their children. Lulu and Leo Krim, 6 and 2, respectively, were allegedly stabbed to death by their nanny, Yoselyn Ortega, in October while Marina Krim was out with couple’s other daughter, Nessie. Ortega, who also allegedly stabbed herself in the throat, has been charged with their murders.

    May 16, 2013 11:05 PM

  8. SUSPECT Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker Arrested for Murder via YouTube

    8. Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker Arrested for Murder

    Yesterday's hero, today's accused. Caleb McGillvary, the mop-haired wanderer who won fame online as “Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker,” has been charged with the murder of a New Jersey lawyer, Joseph Galfy. In a local news video that went viral in February, Kai described wielding the blunt end of a hatchet to save a woman from an attack by a maniac driver who’d given him a ride. Galfy, 73, who was seen meeting Kai in Times Square, was found dead in his home from blunt trauma. On Facebook, Kai suggested that he'd been drugged and raped.

    Watch Kai the Hitchhiker's original viral video.

    May 16, 2013 7:07 PM

  9. BYE BYE BECKS David Beckham Retiring From Soccer Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty

    9. David Beckham Retiring From Soccer

    David Beckham’s done showing off his swag on the soccer field. Breaking the hearts of millions of fans across the world, the legend announced plans Thursday to retire from the sport at the end of the season. “I feel now is the right time to finish my career, playing at the highest level,” Beckham told the Associated Press. The English legend spent six years as captain of England’s main soccer team, and became the first player to participate in 100 UEFA Championship League matches. Beckham joined France’s top soccer league, Paris Saint-Germain, in January.

    Beckham was sent off in this World Cup '98 match against Argentina.

    May 16, 2013 10:08 AM

  10. SPOILER ALERT Steve Carell Returns  to ‘The Office’ NBC

    10. Steve Carell Returns to ‘The Office’

    Spoiler alerts: it ain’t an Office party if Michael Scott doesn’t show up. So Steve Carell had to oblige, by showing up on Thursday night’s finale, when the show officially ended its nine-year run on NBC. The episode featured guest spots by old stars such as Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novack. In a sweet ending for longtime fans, the Dunder Mifflin employees answered questions on a panel about the documentary, while Jim and Pam decided to move on from Scranton and Dwight and Angela got married. The finale went up against the last episode of American Idol, which crowned Candice Glover as the new champion.

    May 16, 2013 11:24 PM

  11. CALLING ALL THE BASIC BITCHES Rapper Kreayshawn: I’m Pregnant and It Sucks Gary Miller

    11. Kreayshawn: I’m Pregnant and It Sucks

    Rapper Kreayshawn has a message for all the “basic bitches” out there: “I’m pregnant! It sucks.” That’s just the beginning of the 23-year-old’s announcement on her Tumblr page that she’s officially with child, which is truly a terrible experience, she explains, because “you have to pack away all your slutty crop tops and high waisted shorts” and “at the end of the day if your friends cant smoke with you or even around you they will find something better to do.” As the self-described “bad bitch” preps for the joys of motherhood (“I am sure I will be dead from lack of sleep and breastfeeding”), Kreayshawn’s days of designer bashing with her “Gucci Gucci” video that scored her a seven-figure record deal could be over. Or could her latest rant prompt a comeback?

     

    May 16, 2013 3:35 PM

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  13. Like a Rolling Stone Dylan Inducted Into Arts Academy Bob Dylan in 1966. (Jerry Schatzberg/Columbia Records/AP)

    12. Dylan Inducted Into Arts Academy

    The poet laureate of the rock-and-roll era joined the ranks of some of the greatest writers, composers, painters, and sculptors in the world Wednesday night at an energetic induction ceremony at the American Academy of Arts and Letters. Michael Chabon, an award-winning American author and the event’s keynote speaker, delivered a speech to the audience titled “Rock ’n’ Roll”—an idea he insists was conceived before he knew Dylan was nominated. The event made history, marking the first time a rock-and-roller has been welcomed into the academy since its founding in 1898.

    May 16, 2013 8:29 AM

  14. HEADS ROLL Acting Head of IRS Gets the Boot Alex Wong/AP

    13. Acting Head of IRS Gets the Boot

    The IRS scandal has claimed its first scalp. Steve Miller, the acting commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service, has resigned after being asked to do so by the Treasury secretary, President Obama announced in a late-afternoon statement to the media. The agency was found to have inappropriately targeted conservative groups’ applications for tax-exempt status. “Americans are right to be angry about it,” Obama said of the misconduct. “I will not tolerate this kind of behavior ... given the power that [the IRS] has and the reach that it has in all of our lives.” Obama also said he’d cooperate with Congress during its oversight review. 

    May 15, 2013 6:26 PM

  15. GAMECHANGER Report: Dzhokhar Confessed in Writing Massachusetts State Police/AP

    14. Report: Dzhokhar Confessed in Writing

    As investigators struggle to nail down Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s psychological state when he allegedly carried out the Boston bombings, a new report from CBS suggests that the 19-year-old confessed to the crime in a note before he was captured in the boat where he was hiding. The full text of the item, which was reportedly scribbled onto the side of the boat, has not been released. But one line, published by CBS, alludes to getting revenge for attacks on Muslims. “When you attack one Muslim, you attack all Muslims,” it reads. Dzhokhar made mention of his deceased brother Tamerlan in the note as well, calling him a "martyr in heaven." Despite the relevance of the message, authorities say it cannot be used in the case against Dzhokhar.

    May 16, 2013 8:21 AM

  16. HEY OLD SPORT No Warm Welcome for ‘Gatsby’ Cast and crew of 'The Great Gatsby' in Cannes on Wedesday. (Pool photo by Loic Venance)

    15. No Warm Welcome for ‘Gatsby’

    For the cast of Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby, the red carpet at the 66th annual Cannes Film Festival may have been the best part. After making a splash outside the event, the film was met with a meager “polite but muted applause.” It was an unusual turn for Australian director Baz Luhrmann, whose 2001 film, Moulin Rouge, received a standing ovation. Leonardo DiCaprio, who stars as Jay Gatsby, and Carey Mulligan, who plays his obsession, Daisy, appeared unbothered by the lukewarm reception. Leo, for one, has bigger fish to fry.

    May 16, 2013 8:32 AM

  17. STRONG Boston Non-Finishers Invited Back David L. Ryan/The Boston Globe, via Getty

    16. Boston Non-Finishers Invited Back

    Offering much-needed hope to a community still healing, the Boston Athletic Association announced Thursday their decision to invite all runners who were prevented from finishing the 2013 Boston Marathon to run again in 2014. The BAA reportedly sent emails to more than 5,700 runners who are eligible, informing them that they will receive a “unique code” come registration time. Twitter instantly erupted in praise, with many runners tweeting about the emotional invitation. “Being invited to Run Boston Marathon 2014 is the greatest news ever,” @RealJimmyBoston tweeted. “…time to finish what I started.”

    May 16, 2013 12:01 PM

  18. MONEY AIN'T A THANG Christie’s Auction Breaks Record Drip painting by Jackson Pollock. (Christie's/AP)

    17. Christie’s Auction Breaks Record

    A contemporary art auction at Christie’s shattered the record for the highest sales figure at an art auction Wednesday night, raking in a massive $495 million. Among the 12 pieces that brought in the big bucks were works by Jackson Pollock, Roy Lichtenstein, and Jean-Michel Basquiat. The top seller, a famous painting by Pollock titled No. 19, 1948 brought in $58.3 million. An impressive 66 out of the 70 works in the auction found new homes, leaving just four unsold.

    May 16, 2013 8:32 AM

  19. CAUGHT NOLA Shooting Suspect Arrested Akien Scott. (Bill Haber/AP)

    18. NOLA Shooting Suspect Arrested

    A 19-year-old suspect in the deadly Mother’s Day shooting, Akein Scott, was reportedly taken into custody Wednesday night after being arrested in New Orleans’ section of Eastern Woods. Scott was identified by police as the first suspect in the New Orleans shooting—which injured 17—on Monday. Authorities say the teen has a previous arrest record, including both drug and weapons charges. Initially police set a $10,000 reward for anyone offering information that could assist them in arresting Scott. Police have yet to confirm whether he was the only shooter, or worked with an accomplice.

    Editor's note: An earlier version of this cheat said that 14 people were killed in the shooting. 17 were injured.

    May 16, 2013 8:15 AM

  20. BLOODSHED IN KABUL Suicide Bomber Kills Six Americans Afghan policemen at scene of bombing in Kabul on Thursday. (Anja Niedringhaus/AP)

    19. Suicide Bomber Kills Six Americans

    At least 15 people were killed—including six Americans— after a suicide car bomb detonated beside a NATO convoy in Kabul early Thursday. Officials in Afghanistan say the explosion came from a Toyota Corolla, where the bomb was allegedly planted by an extremist group. A NATO SUV carrying “foreign advisers” was decimated in the blast, which also destroyed close to a dozen homes. Hezb-e-Islami, a group with close ties to the Taliban, claimed responsibility for the attack just hours after it happened. A spokesman for the Afghan Islamist group told officials that they were targeting U.S. military advisers.

    May 16, 2013 8:30 AM

  21. OOH AAH Scientists Make Embryonic Cells Stem cells on screen in Farmington, Conn. (Spencer Platt/Getty)

    20. Scientists Make Embryonic Cells

    In a groundbreaking announcement for stem cell research, scientists at Oregon State University reported that they have discovered a way to turn human skin cells into embryonic cells. The successful experiment—the first to date—involves transplanting human DNA into an egg cell where all genetic material has been removed. A senior scientist in the study, Shoukhrat Mitalipov, called the breakthrough a “significant step forward…in regenerative medicine.” The news is of vital importance to the stem cell research community as it would allow the creation of the type of stem cell capable of transforming into any other type of human cell, without the use of an embryo.

    May 16, 2013 8:21 AM

  22. FRENEMIES Benghazi Emails Expose CIA Rift Damaged to Benghazi consulate seen on Sept. 13, 2012. (Gianluigi Guercia/AFP/Getty)

    21. Benghazi Emails Expose CIA Rift

    The Benghazi emails, released to the press by the Obama administration Wednesday afternoon, reveal that there was more than just a little trouble in the CIA paradise. Included in the 100-page document is proof that then-CIA director David Petraeus and his second-in-command, Michael J. Morell, quarreled over how much information should be released to the public about the deadly September 11 attack. The talking points in question were eventually delivered to the public by Ambassador Susan Rice, who was harshly criticized for trying to conceal the truth. According to the emails, Morell omitted a key talking point about warnings of an extremist attack—a move he hoped would protect the agency’s reputation.

    May 16, 2013 6:40 AM

  23. NOT SO FAST FOOD KFC Smuggled From Egypt to Gaza Patrick Baz

    22. KFC Smuggled From Egypt to Gaza

    It’s not just weapons and people who are smuggled underground from Egypt to the Gaza strip, but even fast food. Palestinians living in the region are currently obsessed with Kentucky Fried Chicken, even if it’s a little soggy by the time it reaches them. A 12-piece bucket sells for roughly $27 in Gaza, arriving after a four-hour sojourn from El Arish, Egypt, where that same 12-piece bucket costs $11.50. Khalil Efrangi, the 31-year-old entrepreneur behind the operation, coordinates the journey across an international border and through a smuggling tunnel. Isolated Palestinians crave even the most mundane things from outside of Gaza. “It’s our right to enjoy that taste the other people all over the world enjoy,” said Efrangi.

    May 16, 2013 11:30 AM

  24. TEA TIME Bachmann Talks Obama Impeachment Alex Wong/Getty

    23. Bachmann Talks Obama Impeachment

    Michele Bachmann really hates being the one to say “I told you so,” but she just can’t resist using the news that the IRS targeted Tea Party groups as evidence that our big government’s overreach is out of control. “Knowing it’s the IRS who will be the enforcing mechanism for this new entitlement program of Obamacare, it is very important to ask—and now it is reasonable to ask—could there be potential political implications of access to health care, denial of health care? Will that happen based upon a person’s political beliefs or their religiously held beliefs?” Bachmann asked at a rally on Capitol Hill, Thursday. “Those questions would have been considered out of bounds a week ago. Today these questions are considered more than reasonable, and more than fair for the American people.”

    May 16, 2013 2:59 PM

  25. BETTER STOCK UP Venezuela Running Low on Toilet Paper Fernando Llano/AP

    24. Venezuela Running Low on Toilet Paper

    It's a good thing Venezuela started running out of milk, butter, coffee, and cornmeal—nature's laxatives, if you will—before the toilet paper shortage. An attempt to provide basic needs to the poor through price controls has completely backfired, resulting in nationwide shortages of the bare necessities. Though the socialist government insists the private sector and antigovernment forces are behind the shortages, they are planning to import 50 million rolls of toilet paper and 760,000 tons of food—so hopefully the people of Venezuela won't be hungry—or worse, have to hold it—for long. 

    May 16, 2013 9:49 AM

  26. DEADLY TWISTER Deadly Twisters Rip Through Texas Assisting the injured in Granbury, Texas on Wednesday. (Mike Fuentes/AP)

    25. Deadly Twisters Rip Through Texas

    At least six people were killed and dozens wounded Wednesday night after a tornado carrying hail “the size of softballs” barreled through North Texas. Authorities estimate that at least 50 people were taken to a local hospital, some eventually transferred to one more specialized, 35 miles away. While law enforcement hopes that the death toll will remain at six, rescue crews were said to be resuming their search at daylight. Roger Deed, Hood County’s sheriff, said he is most concerned with two people who were found alarmingly far from their home. The storm, made up of a “swarm of tornadoes” hit two large neighborhoods in Southern Granbury, leaving at least 250 people homeless.

    May 16, 2013 6:31 AM

  27. THE MAGIC DRAGON Pot Smokers Are Skinnier Rolling a marijuana joint. (Pablo Porciuncula/AFP/Getty)

    26. Pot Smokers Are Skinnier

    Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to … stop weight gain? According to a new study by researchers at the University of Nebraska, the Harvard School of Public Health, and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, regular marijuana users are skinnier than those who have either never tried the drug, or don’t use it regularly. The study, which looked at 4,600 adults, found smaller waist circumferences in the 12 percent who identified themselves as regular weed smokers. On top of the skinny factor, researchers also found higher levels of “good cholesterol” (HDL) in those who smoke cannabis often.

    May 16, 2013 8:25 AM