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  1. HIS BAAAD Man Banned From Farms. All Farms. Charles Dharapak/AP

    1. Man Banned From Farms. All Farms.

    Robert Newman, a 23-year-old man, was banned from visiting every single farm in London after he was caught having intercourse with a goat at a farm in Wiltshire. He was ordered to stay far, far away from farm animals—including any area where farm animals may be kept—and to stay indoors after 7 p.m. Newman has been placed on England's sex offenders register for the next five years.

    August 24, 2013 12:00 AM

  2. FAIR Naked Women Bites Cop After DUI Mika/Corbis

    2. Naked Women Bites Cop After DUI

    Allison Richards, a 27-year-old woman who should probably have known better, bit a police officer after being pulled over for drunk driving in Connecticut. She told the officer that she had no recollection of ending up on the road after dropping off her son at home. A six-pack of Golden Monkey beer, with one bottle missing, was found inside the vehicle. When taken into the station, Richards reportedly began screaming profanity, tore off her shirt, threw it at an officer, and later on started fully undressing herself. She was arrested on charges of driving under the influence of alcohol, failure to signal, assault on police officer, second-degree breach of peace, and interfering with an arrest. Good stuff.

    August 24, 2013 12:00 AM

  3. TOUGH MEAT Woman Dislocates Jaw Eating Burger PRNewsFoto/Smokey Bones Bar & Fire Grill/AP

    3. Woman Dislocates Jaw Eating Burger

    To be fair, it was a triple-decker burger. While eating at a famous Liverpool restaurant, 25-year-old Nicola Peate tried so hard to finish her burger even though she couldn't fully open her mouth. Peate, who has a syndrome that makes her joints unstable, didn't think she dislocated her jaw ... at first. "It felt like I had a cramp in my tongue, then I started to get an earache and a headache," she told BBC. She has decided to be "more conscious of the size of food in future" after being treated at a hospital the following day. "I hope that ... she takes more care when eating over-sized burgers," the emergency department clinical director said.

    August 24, 2013 12:00 AM

  4. 'SEX BOXES' Zurich Gets Drive-Through Brothels Kris Timken/Blend Images/Corbis

    4. Zurich Gets Drive-Through Brothels

    In classy news, between 7 p.m. and 5 a.m. daily, drivers in Zurich will now be able to pick up prostitutes at roadside site. Once a price is agreed upon, the prostitute enters the car and the driver swings over to one of nine "sex boxes" available for intercourse. These stations cost the city $2.2 million to build and will hold a maximum of 40 prostitutes at a time. Security guards will be on standby at the site. By the way, it's legal.

    August 24, 2013 12:00 AM

  5. LIARS! Oreo Cookies Have Been Lying to You AP

    5. Oreo Cookies Have Been Lying to You

    Not cool, Nabisco. While helping his students with course material, math teacher Dan Anderson discovered that the filling in a "Double Stuf" Oreo isn't exactly double. His school project—to weigh the creme filling inside regular, Double and Mega" Oreos and then compare—unveiled some pretty shady results. "We weighed 10 of each—Double Stuf, Mega Stuf, and regular," the Queensbury, N.Y., teacher said.  "And we weighed five wafers alone to deduct from the total." The result: Double Stuf Oreos were only 1.86 times the size of regular Oreos, while the Mega Oreos were only 2.68 times the size of regular Oreos. However, a Nabisco spokesperson told ABC News, "I can confirm for you that our recipe for the Oreo Double Stuf Cookie has double the Stuf, or creme filling, when compared with our base, or original Oreo cookie."

    August 24, 2013 12:00 AM

  6. TRIPPY Optical Illusion Shows Your Brain Waves William McCoy - Rainbow/Science Faction/Corbis

    6. Optical Illusion Shows Your Brain Waves

    It's not just a cool-looking image. After finding the "sweet spot" and staring at it for a minute, the center of the wheel will begin to flicker like a strobe light. This flickering supposedly represents your brain wave activity. Though it's not proven to be 100 percent accurate, researchers are confident enough in their findings to conclude "this new flickering illusion is a unique way to experience the α rhythms that constantly occur in the brain but normally remain unnoticed." Freaky.

    August 24, 2013 12:00 AM

  7. NOW IT’S 58 Rodent Fur Found in Heinz Ketchup Gene J. Puskar/AP

    7. Rodent Fur Found in Heinz Ketchup

    Tapping the 57 will cause more than ketchup to come out sometimes. Brazilian officials on Wednesday banned a batch of Mexican-made Heinz ketchup after detecting traces of rodent fur. For what it’s worth, Mexican officials have ordered their own investigation—and will inspect the factory where the ketchup was made. Heinz said the ketchup was sent to Brazil last year, and it had already been taken out of circulation. There’s no word yet on the extent of the contamination or the volume of the products that had been pulled.

    August 21, 2013 7:43 AM

  8. ENERGY BOOST Sprayable Caffeine for Your Skin Now Exists Ocean/Corbis

    8. Sprayable Caffeine for Your Skin Now Exists

    Don't have time to pick up a cup of coffee? No problem! A couple of guys—including Ben Yu of Peter Thiel's 20 Under 20 fellows, the program that gives a select number of teens $100,000 each to quit school and start a business—has introduced a patent-pending caffeine of sorts that will be used to spray directly on skin (ideally, on one's neck). The caffeine seeps into pores, ultimately creating an energy buzz the way coffee would. "Though on the surface, Sprayable Energy might not look like a huge game-changer, it's his way of entering that market," the program director of the fellowship program said. The recommended dosage is four sprays, which is less than a cup of coffee. It will be sold at $15 for 40 doses.

    August 24, 2013 12:00 AM

  9. Gross Doctors Remove Fork From Penis Joel Saget/AFP/Getty

    9. Doctors Remove Fork From Penis

    Doctors removed a fork from a 70-year-old Australian man’s penis after he inserted it into his urethra and it, of course, got stuck. Because it’s not every day you have to take a fork out of a man’s penis (using “copious lubrication” and forceps, according to the report), three doctors wrote about the procedure for a medical journal, in an article titled “An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body.” But maybe it’s not as unusual as you might hope: “Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies has been existent since time immemorial and have presented an unusual but known presentation to urologists,” reads the report, listing such objects as wire, Allen keys, toothbrushes, leeches, and lightbulbs.

    August 19, 2013 12:09 PM

  10. "BLACK RAPUNZEL" Woman's Dreadlocks Caused Health Issue Jason Braverman/Barcroft Media/Landov

    10. Woman's Dreadlocks Caused Health Issue

    Asha Mandela, the 50-year-old woman from Atlanta with 55-foot-long dreadlocks, says she will never cut her hair—even with her continuing health issues. Two strokes and two heart attacks later, Mandela is now facing spine issues. "Some have said my neck has collapsed at the back and that I need to be careful because I could start having spasms in my spine and probably be paralyzed," she said. But that's not changing her mind about continuing to grow her world record-winning hair. "Cutting it would be equivalent to suicide. It would be like being a zombie," Mandela explained. She started growing her hair out 25 years ago as part of a spiritual journey, but it has now become a part of her life. 

    August 24, 2013 12:00 AM