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  1. JERK Sexist Gorilla Sent to Therapy Oli Scarff/Getty

    1. Sexist Gorilla Sent to Therapy

    He's an animal! Patrick, a 430-pound gorilla at the Dallas Zoo, is being transferred to a therapist facility after he bit one female gorilla and gave shade to another. Patrick, who has been known to treat the female gorillas either with aggression or indifference, will be moving to the Riverbanks Zoo and Gardens Columbia in South Carolina for more solitary confinement. "It's not like we haven't tried, he's been here for 18 years," spokeswoman for the Dallas Zoo Laurie Holloway said. 

    September 28, 2013 12:00 AM

  2. UM WHAT?!

    2. Man Grows Second Nose on Forehead

    Doctors in China have used tissue expanders to grow a second nose on a patient’s forehead. The man, identified as Xiaolian, had a nose that was damaged from an infection after a car accident. Once the new nose is ready, it will be surgically removed from the 22-year-old’s forehead and implanted on his face along with cartilage from his rib, which will give it added structure. Doctors at Johns Hopkins Medical Center in Maryland said the new nose will work almost just as well as Xiaolian’s old one and that he should still have his sense of smell.

    September 25, 2013 6:36 PM

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  4. HANDSY Baboon Gets to Second Base With Reporter Getty

    3. Baboon Gets to Second Base With Reporter

    It's a primate thing. FOX40 reporter Sabrina Rodriguez was shooting a preview of the Lodi Grape Festival in a bright purple shirt when a baboon unexpectedly grabbed her chest. "He's trying to cop a feel a little bit," Rodriguez said as Mickey the baboon got up on his legs to get a better reach. She did her best to continue professionally, stating awkwardly that "baboons actually love grapes." Hope he at least got her number. 

    September 28, 2013 12:00 AM

  5. GLITZ-C-NOTE New $100 Bill Has 3-D Feature LM Otero/AP

    4. New $100 Bill Has 3-D Feature

    A brand-new $100 bill has finally been upgraded and set to circulate Oct. 8. The fancy new note, which was designed in part to help people check for fakes and changes from copper to green, will include a color-changing ink well, 3-D security ribbon, and more texture on Benjamin Franklin's collar. "We try and find security features that can be used at a number of different levels, from more experienced cash handlers ... down to the person on the street who really needs to know the security features so they can protect themselves," Michael Lambert, a deputy associate director at the Federal Reserve, said. 

    September 28, 2013 12:00 AM

  6. DOUBLE-TAKE

    5. Townspeople Deem Street ‘Penis Road’

    Several concrete posts installed in a Pennsylvania town have been ridiculed for looking like a bunch of penises because of the elongated shape and rounded top. "People are laughing at it. They're calling it Penis Road," a resident told township commissioners Tuesday. But the town is defending its new bollards, which were approved by the state Department of Transportation. "People need to get their minds out of the gutters," Carnegie manager Steve Beuter said.

    September 28, 2013 12:00 AM

  7. HOME BREW Woman Attacked by Very Alive Viper Uli Deck/AFP/Getty

    6. Woman Attacked by Very Alive Viper

    Ms. Liu, a woman in China's Harbin City, thought that a snake she had been soaking in wine for three months must have been dead, but when she unsealed the brew, it bit her hand. Viper wine, which is a traditional Chinese medicine, is supposed to cure inflamed joints and bad circulation. Liu, who suffers from rheumatism, was released from the hospital—though in another similar case, a man did not survive the snake bite.

    September 28, 2013 12:00 AM

  8. EXPERIMENT Scientists Figure Out How to 'Erase' Fear Steve Lewis/Getty

    7. Scientists Figure Out How to 'Erase' Fear

    Heights, shmeights. Your fears won't be getting in the way much longer. Through a series of experiments, researchers from Northwestern University found a way to (sort of) rid your fears through images. During the study, researchers conditioned patients to be afraid of a certain face and then showed them the photo along with a specific smell. Once both were recognized, an electric shock was administered. Ultimately, the patients would associate the bad energy with the fear and thus changed their perspective. Seems legit.

    September 28, 2013 12:00 AM

  9. 'GROUNDBREAKING' Mind-Controlled Bionic Leg Now Exists Brian Kersey/AP

    8. Mind-Controlled Bionic Leg Now Exists

    A 32-year-old man who lost his leg in a motorcycle accident is now the guinea pig for a new brain-controlled bionic leg. The leg "allows people to seamlessly transition between walking along level ground and going up and down stairs and slopes," biomedical engineer at RIC Levi Hargrove said. When you think you want to do something, the brain signal travels down the spinal cord and through peripheral nerves and is picked up by electrodes in the bionic leg. The cost of the bionic leg has not been decided on, but will hopefully be available to the more than one million amputees across the country in three to five years.

    September 28, 2013 12:00 AM

  10. PROCEED WITH CAUTION Sweden: It’s ‘OK’ to Masturbate in Public JENS KOEHLER

    9. Sweden: It’s ‘OK’ to Masturbate in Public

    Didn’t “target a specific person,” or just horrible aim? A Swedish man charged with sexual assault for masturbating on a beach in Stockholm was acquitted after a court ruled the act was not “directed towards one or more people.” The 65-year-old Swede was caught with his pants down, touching himself near the water’s edge in June. Thanks to this monumental ruling, Swedes can pleasure themselves in public so long as they’re somewhat discreet about it. “With that we can conclude that it is okay to masturbate on the beach,” the prosecutor declared. But don’t get too carried away on the shores of Stockholm: “disorderly conduct” charges may still apply.

    September 19, 2013 12:24 PM

  11. TO EAT China Buys 5 Percent of Ukraine Arno Burgi, DPA / Corbis

    10. China Buys 5 Percent of Ukraine

    The breadbasket of Europe is living up to its name. In an effort to feed its growing population, China purchased 5 percent of Ukraine’s soil-rich land, an incredible 9 percent of its farmland. The deal, struck between Chinese and Ukrainian production companies, gives the middle kingdom access to the land for the next 50 years. Two Chinese state-owned grain farms plan to head up the operation, the first step of which involves swapping seeds and equipment with Ukraine in exchange for pigs and crops. According to experts, China consumes roughly 20 percent of the world’s food supplies.

    September 24, 2013 6:32 PM