1. Quack

    Phil Robertson: Marry Teen Girls

    Zach Dilgard/A&E

    Phil Robertson has some "river rat wisdom" for young fellas out there. In a newly released tape from 2009, the Duck Dynasty star advises men marry women at "15 or 16" who cook, carry a Bible, and "picks your ducks" (cleaning feathers off dead birds). Don't marry them any older because if you "wait until they get to be 20 years old, the only picking that's going to take place is your pocket." Robertson's granddaughter, Sadie, is 16 and unmarried.

    Read it at Slate