J.K. Rowling posted a new Harry Potter story on her Pottermore website that features the once-young wizard, Ron, and Hermione at the age of 34. Before you get too excited, the tale is a scant 1,500 words, and Rowling clearly has an ulterior motive. Written in the voice of Harry Potter gossip columnist Rita Skeeter, the short story appears to be a clear jab at British tabloid culture. Harry has a “couple of threads of silver” in his hair, as he and the gang enjoy the Quidditch World Cup finals with their children. Snarky remarks about Harry’s marriage to Ginny and Hermione “settling” for Ron abound to complete the tabloid satire. But, there are other treats for Potter fans, with updates about Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood. Let the Harry Potter geek-out commence.