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Paula Deen still won’t cop to being racist, but she did tell Matt Lauer on Wednesday morning that “there are a couple of kinds of people I’m prejudiced against—and that is thieves and liars.” That’s why, she explained during her highly anticipated Today show appearance, she admitted to using the N word during her infamous court deposition, even though she swears it was only a one-time thing. “The day I used that word, it was a world ago,” Deen said, referring to being robbed at gunpoint 30 years ago. The celebrity chef got emotional, urging her supporters not to boycott the Food Network (even though she wouldn’t have fired someone like her), and asked, through tears, for anyone in the audience who’s never said something they regret to “please take up that stone and throw it as hard as they can and kill me.”