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After Letterman

Colbert Will Nail ‘Late Night’

Colbert is officially replacing Letterman as the new ‘Late Show’ host. Of course he’ll drop the character and he’ll get the ratings. But will we let him leave the ‘Report’ behind?

Whenever a late-night TV host announces his retirement, there’s inevitably speculation about who will be crowned the next king of the 11:30 time slot. This in turn has created tremendous interest in a response from me. OK, nobody asked, but it seems appropriate for me to weigh in on one of the few issues I can actually be considered an expert on.

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Martin Crook

I know Stephen Colbert, and I’ve known most of his staff—because I was part of it. For more than six years and well over 1,000 episodes, I entertained the live studio audience of The Colbert Report. Every night, I went out in front of the most devout members of the “Colbert Nation” and entertained them with a mix of stand-up and improv. It was the best job in comedy I’ve ever had.

MAKING A NOISE

Life After Sonic Youth

Famed as Sonic Youth’s bassist, Kim Gordon is also an accomplished visual artist who once did a watercolor of Blondie. She talks about life after the band—and the secrets of her artistic process.

There is a certain school of thought that says Kim Gordon—"musician, vocalist, visual artist, record producer, video director, fashion designer, and actress," according to her ever-expanding Wikipedia entry—is the coolest person on the planet.

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Peter Pakvis/Hollandse Hoogte/Redux

Gordon, for her part, cannot possibly understand why anyone would think that, which has the effect, of course, of making her even cooler.

Killer Drama

Is ‘Fargo’ Bloody Good? You Betcha

Menacing and suspenseful with surprising notes of satire and pulpy violence, FX’s ‘Fargo’ is most certainly not a pale imitation of the Coens’ gruesome dark comedy.

There’s something unsettling—and maybe a little exciting—about being on the set of Fargo and hearing the full whirring of a machine starting off the distance. The mind goes to one place: the wood chipper.

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Alas, no one was being ground up into bloody membrane and morsels of flesh—that day, at least—during the shooting of FX’s ambitious, risky, and some might even say sacrilegious limited series adaptation of Joel and Ethan Coen’s 1996 iconic film. It was just an unseasonably warm day in Calgary, and a fake snow machine was being revved up to help recreate the frigid feel of the setting the Coens described to new Fargo writer Noah Hawley as “Siberia with family restaurants.”

Smoking Reefers

Stoner TV Rules

From the tech nerds on 'Silicon Valley' to the girls on 'Broad City' and bros on 'Workaholics,' everyone's smoking pot on television these days. And they're all inhaling.

On HBO’s Silicon Valley, the tech nerds who stumble into a startup smoke weed with no consequences. At the end of the pilot, actor and comedian T.J. Miller lights and hits a bong. Like a gangster shooting in a Hays Code era motion picture, the inhale and the exhale are shown in separate shots. None of the other characters react. They are all shown to have alcoholic beverages as their narcotic of choice.

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The Daily Beast

Meanwhile, the guys on HBO’s Looking get high and casually converse. Comedy Central’s Broad City features a ganja-centric episode. Marijuana and “stoner” comedy has been making a slow comeback over the last decade. Workaholics has been on the air since 2011 and continues to produce stories about highly functional, stoned people. FX’s Wilfred ends every episode with Jason Gann and Elijah Wood hitting a homemade bubbler (although, like the bong in Silicon Valley, they never clear the chamber).

Fashion Favorite

Candidate to the Stars

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Tibrina Hobson/Getty

It’s always a good idea to get celebrity endorsements for your congressional campaign, right? Well, maybe not when Nicole Richie’s hair color choice is overshadowing your message.

When researching California congressional candidate Marianne Williamson, two of the first article headlines to surface are,“ Kim Kardashian Wears Plunging Top With Menswear-Inspired Look” and “ Katy Perry Exposed a Springy Strip of Upper Belly.”

Last October, the 61-year-old spiritual teacher and author announced her run for the U.S. House of Representatives to represent California's 33rd District, which includes cities in West L.A. such as Beverly Hills, Brentwood, Calabasas, Malibu, and Santa Monica. Although a longtime member of the Democratic Party, Williamson revealed she would be running as an Independent. "I believe that a wave of independent candidates, all committed to a huge course-correction, is necessary to turn our ship around, she said. “I feel my campaign, and most importantly my win, can help inspire such a movement.”

While Williamson’s platform is focused on serious issues like “climate change, humanitarianism, demilitarization, and corporate regulation,” the majority of her media coverage has centered on only one aspect of her campaign: her star-studded supporters. On Tuesday evening, Williamson received support from reality star sisters Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, B-list fashion maven Nicole Richie, and pop princess Katy Perry at her press event held at the Kayne Griffin Corcoran Gallery in L.A. Publicity for Williamson’s campaign came second to Perry’s new “slimey” green hairdo, Kim’s plunging neckline, and Kourtney’s near Marilyn moment, leading us to wonder: why is she relying on a slew of socialite-cum-celebrities to reach her constituents?

Watch This!

When Celebs Rap

Anne Hathaway’s appearance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon is only the tip of the iceberg. Watch these (hilarious) videos of celebrities channeling their inner Jay Z.

Can you imagine how much fun it would be to Broadway-up, “Roll my weed on that ass, that’s an ass-tray?”

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Not only could Anne Hathaway hit the high notes in 2012’s Les Miserables, but homegirl can rap, too. On last night’s edition of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Hathaway gave some rap songs a Broadway makeover. 50 Cent’s “In Da Club,” Snoop Dogg’s “Gin and Juice,” and Kendrick Lamar’s “Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe” all received cabaret-style remixes as the actress sang and Fallon tickled the ivories.

That ‘90s Actor

Why Women Want Wilmer Valderrama

Yo Wilmer Valderrama’s so culturally irrelevant, the commodification of his young girlfriend's body has nudged him and his playboy ways back into the current celebrity conversation.

In the real world, it’s hard for an under-employed 34-year-old who wears Drakkar Noir and rocks a soul patch to cop so much as a Tinder match. So what's going on with Wilmer Valderrama? The former That ‘70s Show star and current Hollywood lothario must be doing something right—in between shooting cult-classics like From Prada to Nada and voicing the cartoon character Manny on Handy Manny, he's managed to date some of the hottest women in the business.

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Jeff Vespa/Getty for Topshop Topman

Just this week, several alleged photos of Wilmer and his current 21-year-old girlfriend, Demi Lovato, found their way on to the World Wide Web. In addition to potentially embarrassing Lovato, these pictures nudged Valderrama and his playboy ways back into the public spotlight. Yo Wilmer Valderrama's so culturally irrelevant, he relies on the commodification of his young girlfriend's body in order to re-enter the current celebrity conversation!

The Big Splash

Remembering the Ultimate Warrior

Hulk Hogan and more wrestlers remember the legend.

“Every man's heart one day beats its final beat,” said The Ultimate Warrior in his WWE Hall of Fame induction speech. “His lungs breathe their final breath. And if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others and makes them believe deeper in something larger than life, then his essence, his spirit, will be immortalized by the storytellers, by the loyalty, by the memory.”

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George Napolitano/Retna Ltd./Corbis

James Hellwig died three days later at the age of 54.

Riverdale

Lena Dunham, Archie Comics Savior?

A near-forgotten comic book brand is undergoing a radical transformation as zombies, the gays, and Lena Dunham make Riverdale relevant again. Archie isn’t dead yet.

Archie, that lovable doof, and his sweater set posse from Riverdale—Betty, Veronica, and Jughead—have long been bywords for the idealized adolescence of the Baby Boomers. What Norman Rockwell was to oil painting, Archie Andrews was to comic books. But with Archie himself slated to die this summer, and Lena Dunham (yes, that Lena Dunham) onboard as a new writer, Riverdale is undergoing a radical transformation.

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Dan Steinberg/Invision for the Television Academy/AP

“I'm always shocked when I hear some people think Archie the comic books are set in the ‘50s,” says Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, who was recently named chief creative officer of Archie Comics. Last year, he created the critically acclaimed zombie-apocalypse-in-Riverdale themed title Afterlife With Archie. As of last month, he is the first CCO in the company’s 75 years of existence.

Exclusive

Dylan Penn Bares All

Dylan Penn

Tony Duran/Treats! Magazine

After turning down Playboy, the acting heiress poses for her first cover shoot, which was captured by photographer Tony Duran. See the exclusive photos here.

Dylan Penn, the striking 22-year-old daughter of Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn and House of Cards’ Robin Wright, will be gracing the cover of the 7th issue of Treats! Magazine, an arts quarterly. After turning down offers from Playboy and others, the model stripped down for a risqué photo shoot with famed photographer Tony Duran.

“I have always loved [Tony’s] black and white nudes, they were always so tastefully done and, more specifically, showed that certain elegant yet strong beauty that I think all women embody,” Penn tells Treats!

Dylan Penn

Tony Duran/Treats! Magazine

In Her Words

Susan Boyle: Overcoming Asperger’s

The bestselling singer and ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ alum writes about her battle with the disorder.

Simple Susan, mad, odd, bizarre. Names I have been called over the last 53 years of my life. 

Born in a small Scottish village at a time where medicine and diagnosis was in its infancy and hadn’t made the great advancements that we see today, my parents were told not to expect much from me as they were led to believe I had been brain damaged at birth. 

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Ovation TV

Endangered Series

Save These TV Shows!

It’s that dreaded time of year when network executives turn ruthless executioners and cancel TV shows stuck in ‘on the bubble’ limbo.

Spring is here, a joyous occasion for most of us. But for a certain subset of people living in Hollywood, it’s actually the most terrifying time of the year. It’s the time of year when television executives transform into ruthless executioners and decide which network television shows will be renewed for another season and, more brutally, which will be canceled.

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Brooke Palmer/NBC

The networks have already thrown down the gauntlet on a number of shows, meaning we’ve already seen the heads of the likes of Michael J. Fox, Sean Hayes, and Martha Plimpton roll. And while dozens of other series have already been renewed—some obvious choices (The Big Bang Theory, NCIS); some more questionable (Mike & Molly is still on TV, everyone)—others currently exist in a limbo the ‘biz refers to as “on the bubble.” That roughly translates to “your ratings are so middling that we have yet to decide whether to save you for another season or pop the bubble and end things completely.”

You Know Nothing

Game of Thrones’ Last Noble Hunk

Hunky British actor Kit Harington on playing the courageous emo-swordsman on the HBO fantasy epic and the real coldness we'll see this season in the most famous bastard in Westeros.

When we last left Jon Snow (Kit Harington), the bastard son of the late Lord Eddard Stark, he was serving as a spy, marching South towards Castle Black with the Free Folk army and Mance Rayder. After losing his virginity to Ygritte (Rose Leslie), a redheaded wildling woman, and barely scaling the Wall, Snow is ordered by (a very jealous) Orell to kill an old man. He refuses, kills Orell, and escapes the wildling bunch.

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GAME OF THRONES season 4: Kit Harington. (Helen Sloan/HBO)

Later, his wildling love shoots his back full of arrows—intentionally leaving him alive—and Snow barely makes it back to Castle Black.

FAREWELL

Barbara, Don’t Leave Us This Way

Barbara Walters is a broadcasting doyenne, interviewer of greats, shatterer of glass ceilings. But the daily screechfest of ‘The View’ is not the best vehicle for her with which to say goodbye.

The audience was still cheering reverently for Barbara Walters on Tuesday’s edition of The View, the day after her announcement that May 16 would mark her final day presenting the ABC morning show. Her hair its usual whipped and spun golden halo, Walters came out of the wings, gingerly high-fived some folk in the audience, before her fellow host Whoopi Goldberg reminded us of her momentous imminent farewell again and—because this is all about product, ultimately—that Walters was the cover star of this week’s Variety magazine.

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Fred Lee/ABC, via Getty

The magazine’s cover dutifully flashed up: Walters is shot starkly in profile, with the headline: “Her View.” The emphasis in the piece is that Walters is leaving our screens on her terms. She liked the profile shot, Walters mused; before she had always thought she should get a nose job.

Kaboom!

The $100 Million Superhero Dud

The biggest threat to ‘Captain America’ and the superhero film is not HYDRA or S.H.I.E.L.D. It’s the clunky, overblown CGI climax that’s become a signature of the genre.

Hollywood seems to be appealing to 12-year-olds who want to see something—anything—go KABOOM! Captain America destroys a military hovercraft, Spider-Man stops a reptilian chemical cloud, Superman hurls General Zod through dozens of skyscrapers, Batman detonates a nuke over the river, and the Avengers fend off an alien invasion.

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Marvel

Marvel told the writers of Captain America: The Winter Soldier to give the movie the biggest ending possible, and it appears to have worked: the movie hauled in a monster $96.2 million in its opening weekend. The movie isn’t bad; it soars when operating like the Jason Bourne franchise, with Captain America on the run as a fugitive. In these scenes, the action is raw. When our hero is ambushed by dozens of agents in an elevator, we see him beat up every single one in close combat. But not even Cap can escape the dreaded generic climax of the modern day superhero flick. By  the end, Winter Soldier has morphed into an orgy of explosions, flying ships, satellites, missiles, Nazis, and Robert Redford—not lost at sea, but lost in his first superhero blockbuster.

Kate Upton Beats a Serial Cheater

In a given year, 4 percent of married people have extramarital affairs. Find out more stats about infidelity tied to the new comedy ‘The Other Woman,’ with Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton.

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