When Russell Crowe took the mic after winning the Empire “Actor of Our Lifetime” Award last week, the Aussie read a mystifying poem instead of delivering an acceptance speech. The mash-up of lyrics and verse brought together, likely for the first (and last) time, Billy Bragg lyrics and If by Rudyard Kipling. The poem read: “I am celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tattoo./ Imagine there's no heaven./ I don't know if you're loving somebody.” He also lifted from Irish poet Patrick Kavanagh: “To be a poet and not know the trade, to be a lover and repel all women. Twin ironies by which great saints are made, the agonising pincer-jaws of heaven.” What a beautiful mind.