What's in the Fabloids

The Enquirer reports a “massive coverup” at the scene of Michael Jackson’s death: Apparently insiders shipped away Jacko’s drug stash in black suitcases before the police arrived—and are even thought to have removed video evidence from the security camera. Police are combing through Jackson’s computer hard drives for clues, says the magazine, and, says a source, are seeking “a secret stash of powerful drugs, syringes, intravenous bags and an IV pole.” But according to La Toya Jackson, who claims that Michael was murdered, the police seized an oxygen tank from beside her brother’s bed, recovered an oxygen mask in his sheets, and removed a bag of liquid from an intravenous drip. The Enquirer also reports that in the days before Jackson’s death, his house “was under surveillance by an individual who witnessed suspicious activity,” spotting several cars coming in and out of the property, many with Nevada license plates. Meanwhile, watch out, Jen and Jess: Your ex is about to go for a much younger lady. Since Miley Cyrus ended her relationship with Nick Jonas, 16, because he was “too immature,” she’s allegedly moved on to an older man: John Mayer. Though they’re friendly (Mayer visited her after a Las Vegas show last year), the 31-year-old has no idea that Miley has a crush on him. But according to friends, the poptart thinks Mayer is a “total babe.” And poor President Obama—he may be negotiating nuclear-weapons policy with foreign leaders, but at home, he’s getting an earful. After a photo surfaced of the president supposedly checking out a 17-year-old’s behind at the G-8 summit in Italy, Michelle apparently wouldn’t let him hear the end of it. According to a source, “After she saw the picture, she exploded at Barack behind closed doors, and snapped, ‘See all the hard work you’ve done—and this is what they’re going to remember this trip by. Who do you think you are— Bill Cinton?’” Depends on what your definition of the word “are” is.