Baseball's All-Steroid Team

Most traders would steal if it were a sure thing, according to a blockbuster survey. That's why the conviction of hedge fund billionaire Raj Rajaratnam sends a key message about a fair system and free markets, writes Randall Lane.

Illustration by The Daily Beast

AP Photo

Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images

Andy Pettitte

Position: Pitcher

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: HGH

Excuse: Coming back from injury
Even in the midst of his own PED scandal, Andy Pettitte couldn't seem to get out of the shadow of his good friend and mentor, Roger Clemens. When Pettitte—who won four World Series with the Yankees in the 1990s—admitted to using Human Growth Hormone in late 2007 (to recover from an injury, he claimed), all anyone wanted to know was whether or not Clemens had been doing the same thing. Andy said yes; Roger said no, and while a contrite Pettitte went on to win a fifth World Series ring in 2009, Clemens has still yet to admit that he ever used PEDs. (If he ever does, there’s a place waiting for him on this team’s starting rotation.)

Ed Betz / AP Photo

Paul LoDuca

Position: Catcher

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: HGH

Excuse: "Mistakes in judgment"

Paul Lo Duca, once touted by eager Dodges fans as the second coming of Mike Piazza, ended up being known less for his contact hitting than for his contact with PED dealer Kirk Radomski. While the technically-not-retired backstop hasn't admitted to using HGH in so many words, despite being named in the Mitchell Report, he did apologize for "mistakes in judgment." Maybe he was talking about his reported affair with a 19-year-old while on the Mets?

Walter Iooss Jr. / Sports Illustrated / Getty Images

Mark McGwire

Position: First Base

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: Steroids, HGH

Excuse: "I told myself that steroids could help me recover faster."

Okay, so now we know how Big Mac got so big. The megastar Cardinals first baseman and onetime owner of the single-season home run record finally admitted on Monday that he used steroids and HGH, not "for any type of strength use," but to help him get off the disabled list. But McGwire himself put the attitude of baseball fans best in an episode of The Simpsons, ostensibly about a global MLB spy network, years before the PED revelations: "Do you want to know the terrifying truth? Or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?"

Leon Halip, WireImage / Getty Images

Brian Roberts

Position: Second Base

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: Steroids

Excuse: Tried them once, never used them again

Once known for his boy-next-door looks and gracious demeanor, Brian Roberts ruined his chance of being the next Cal Ripken when he was implicated not once, but twice for steroid use. The two-time All-star and former face of the Baltimore Orioles claims he “never used steroids, human growth hormone or any other performance-enhancing drugs prior to or since that single incident” in 2003 but still landed as a big name on the Mitchell Report. In Roberts’ defense, however, he never failed a drug test and the years he was implicated do not coincide with the years he made the all-star team.

AP Photo

Miguel Tejada

Position: Shortstop

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: : Steroids, HGH

Excuse: Maintains that he never used any of the performance enhancing drugs

Orioles shortstop Miguel Tejada was accused not only of being fueled by steroids, but of sharing his “magic elixir” with others as well. Eight seasons of a 20 home run active streak and two MVP awards later, Tejada still claims that he never used performance enhancing drugs, but the Canseco apprentice popped up in numerous testimonies of players saying he supplied them with a tainted vitamin B-12 shots, and after denying them in court, was charged with lying to Congress in 2009.

INFGoff.com

Alex Rodriguez

Position: Third Base

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: Steroids (Primobolan, Testosterone)

Excuse: Admitted using a "banned substance"

In 2003, the year Alex Rodriguez earned the MVP award and the American League home run title, he also tested positive for two anabolic steroids. Last year, he admitted to using the substance from 2001-2003, and his reputation was immediately tarnished. That is, until “A-Fraud” delivered in the post-season, helping the Yankees to their 27th World Series championship. Steroids? What steroids?

Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images

Manny Ramirez

Position: Left Field

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: HCG, Anabolic Steroids (Testosterone)

Excuse: Was given a medication he did not know was banned

Like many players accused of juicing, the Dodgers slugger had an excuse. And much like the rest of Manny Ramirez’s career, it was way out there: he blamed his positive test on artificial testosterone and the female fertility drug, hCG. In a statement, he said a physician “gave me a medication, not a steroid,” but unfortunately, “the medication was banned under our drug policy.” After serving a 50-game suspension last season, Ramirez returned to the lineup, to continue his pursuit of 600 home runs.

Robert Laberge / Getty Images

Barry Bonds

Position: Center Field

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: Steroids (The Clear, The Cream), HGH

Excuse: "I never asked Greg. When he said it was flaxseed oil, I just said, whatever."

Perhaps more than any other player, Barry Bonds defines the steroid era of baseball. A typo in court papers filed in November 2001 erroneously stated that Bonds had tested positive for steroids the year he hit his single-season record, 73 home runs, creating a media frenzy that turned into what was almost the downfall of Major League Baseball. Although his test records were inaccurate, Bonds was still indicted for four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction to justice in 2007 for telling a federal grand jury that he had never used performance enhancing drugs. Though the 45-year-old Bonds remains officially unretired, his agent says it is “nearly impossible” that he will play again.

Michael Zagaris / MLB Photos via Getty Images

Jose Canseco

Position: Right Field

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: Steroids (Deca-Durabolin, Winstrol, Equipose, Anavar), HGH

Excuse: None.

Unlike most of baseball superstars who are accusing of juicing, Jose Canseco took a radical approach: he admitted it. The self-proclaimed “chemist” said he experimented with it for years, and passed down his knowledge to many other players including Mark McGwire and Rafael Palmeiro. When asked about his book Juiced, a personal account of his career, and whether he meant for it to take down MLB, he simply said, “I'm just basically telling a story of my life.” Canseco may be looked down upon by fans for many things, but he certainly seems to be honest.

Chris Gardner / AP Photo

Rafael Palmiero

Position: DH

Performance Enhancing Drug of Choice: Stanozolol (Anabolic Steroid)

Excuse: Suggested that the positive test may have been caused by a tainted vitamin B-12 shot he had received from Miguel Tejada

In March 2005, shortly after the release of Texas Rangers teammate Jose Canseco’s book Juiced, Rafael Palmiero denied allegations of steroid use and said under oath before Congress, “I have never used steroids, period. I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Never." He later tested positive for steroids and claimed he didn’t know how it got into his system, blaming Miguel Tejada’s vitamin B-12 shots as a potential source Days before the revelation, Palmiero had recorded his 3000th hit.