Sex Tapes You Didn't Want to See

Hustler is releasing an X-rated video of the villain of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle Staub, on Monday. From Vince Neil’s Hawaiian threesome to Tonya Harding’s wedding-night romp to Mini Me’s shockingly long tongue, VIEW OUR GALLERY of the best of the worst celebrity sex tapes.

AP Photo

AP Photo

Danielle Staub

Danielle Staub, the resident villain of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, seemed to give credence to an angry castmate's claim that she was a "prostitution whore" this week, when Hustler announced a plan to release a 75-minute tape showing her having sex with an unidentified man. A rep from the adult-entertainment company told TMZ that the tape was shot last September, just months after the nearly 50-year-old mother of two first appeared on the small screen. Last year, Staub successfully obtained a court order to block Stephen Zalewski, her ex-boyfriend who appeared on the show, from releasing an X-rated video of her. Zalewski, who is two decades her junior, told Star she was quite the nymphomaniac. "Not only does she want to have sex all the time, but she loves the thrill of doing it in public places, where she might get caught," he said. "She wanted to make love in restaurant bathrooms basically every time we went out—she'd get all excited and say, ‘The people can hear you doing it outside!'" Just when we thought we couldn't get more of a " raunchy, uncensored… RAW" look at Staub…

Stephen Lovekin / AP Photo

Dustin Diamond

Even after many long talks in Mr. Belding's office, the resident nerd of Saved by the Bell, Dustin Diamond, still hadn't learned his lesson. On November 13, 2006, his sex tape Screeched (also known as Saved by the Smell was released by Red Light District Video. The not-at-all-safe-for-daytime-TV storyline featured a bride-to-be, her bridesmaid, and a 29-year-old Diamond engaging in many lewd sexual acts, including a particularly "dirty" one that shall go unnamed. "Basement porn" director Brandon Patten produced the 40-minute movie, which Diamond said was leaked by the "significant other" of a friend with whom he exchanges pornographic videos. Few believed the iconic television dork's claim: Diamond's manager (who is…Brandon Patten) acknowledged that there were plans to raise the washed-up star's profile with a scandalous video. David Hans Schmidt, famous in the sex-tape industry for selling videos starring Paris Hilton, Colin Farrell, and other celebrities, staked a claim to Diamond's tape. "Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he told the New York Daily News, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."

Seth Wenig / AP Photo; Newscom

John Edwards and Rielle Hunter

Rielle Hunter, John Edwards' campaign videographer, knew her way around a camera. And, clearly, John Edwards knew his way around Rielle Hunter. They allegedly made a video together when Edwards was gearing up for the 2008 Iowa caucuses, as his wife Elizabeth was fighting cancer, and Hunter was four or five months pregnant with Edwards' baby. People who claim to have seen the tape in question described Edwards " graphically performing for the camera." The video surfaced in January in the hands of Edwards' former assistant, Andrew Young, who was subsequently sued by Hunter for having it.

John Spellman / Retna Ltd.

Fred Durst

He did indeed do it all for the "Nookie." Half a decade after Fred Durst hit it big with his band's album Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water in 2000, the Limp Bizkit frontman made headlines again for a sex tape featuring himself and a then 21-year-old model named Niki Coyne that was leaked online. While the then-36-year-old Durst claimed the three-minute tape was stolen from his computer and sent to Gawker in February 2005, others suspected it was a deliberate move. "Somebody that was repairing my computer was smart enough to go through anything he could [and found the movie]," Durst told MTV.com. "What can I say? I'm not proud of it." But celebrity sex-tape connoisseur David Hans Schmidt told the website the thieves contacted him in September 2004 and he'd been negotiating with Durst's agents since then. "If you wanna know how not secure you are, just take a look around," the former rocker said. "Nothing's secure. Nothing's safe."

Craig Strong / Getty Images; AP Photo

Tonya Harding and Jeff Gillooly

An assault scandal was not enough controversy for champion figure skater Tonya Harding in 1994. She became notorious when her ex-husband Jeff Gillooly conspired with two men to attack her competitor Nancy Kerrigan at practice during the U.S. Figure Skating Championship in January. Later that year, Harding joined another tarnished list when Gillooly sold a video of himself and Harding engaging in sexual acts while wearing wedding attire. In September, Penthouse published stills from the infamous "wedding video" and thanks to Gillooly (who subsequently changed his name to Jeff Stone), the tape made its way to the American people. Though it's called "Tonya and Jeff's Wedding Night," the bridal gown Harding is wearing is actually a costume and not her real dress. Some things are sacred after all.

Neilson Barnard / Getty Images

Vince Neil

The lead singer of Mötley Crüe, Vince Neil, had his own unwieldy bunch to tend to in a 1999 video featuring porn star Janine Lindemulder and model Brandy Ledford. The long-haired, scruffy-faced rock star reportedly recorded the tape in 1993 while vacationing in Hawaii, but it made its way online six years later when someone allegedly stole it. The Internet Entertainment Group, which also sold Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's wave-making movie, had plans to release the threesome's video. But with Ledford making a name for herself in Hollywood—on Baywatch of course—she refused to sign a consent form. The company still released the tape without her name attached and with her face blurred out under the title, Janine and Vince Neil Hardcore Uncensored. Lindemulder went on to make more adult films, Neil earned a few more moments in the spotlight on The Surreal Life, and Ledford has since shown her face in numerous failed sci-fi television series.

Lai Seng Sin / AP Photo

Chua Soi Lek

In 2008, a sex DVD began circulating in Malaysia and people began recognizing the man starring in it. It turned out they had seen him on television before. It was Dr. Chua Soi Lek, Malaysia's health minister. In the end, he admitted that he had made the tape and left his fate up to his "party members, leaders and the Malaysian public," he said. When asked for an explanation of the clip, he gave one of the more honest answers on record for a politician in a sex scandal. "Who did it and why is obvious," he said, "but it is not important now."

AP Photo

Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate

Along with many other legends about the tragic couple of director Roman Polanski and his wife Sharon Tate is a rumor that they were early aficionados of the homemade sex tape. An alleged film of them has never been circulated, but was reportedly discovered by the Los Angeles Police Department during the investigation after Tate was famously and brutally murdered in 1969. It was allegedly tucked away in a loft above the living room in an old-fashioned film can. According to Vincent Bugliosi, author of Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders, "The film showed Sharon and Roman Polanski making love." The tape, mercifully, never got out. The discretion of the LAPD at the time was such that the film was returned to the scene, so the tape, mercifully, was never released or seen by the public.

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

Chyna

Joanie Laurer was known for inflicting pain in the World Wresting Federation ring under the stage name "Chyna," but she did some eye-damaging when a one-hour encounter of the sexual kind with a fellow wrestler hit video stores and computer screens in 2004. Red Light District Video, who also brought audiences Screeched and the legendary 1 Night in Paris, released 1 Night in China, featuring Laurer engaging in all kinds of sexual acts with her on-again-off-again boyfriend, X-Pac (whose real name is Sean Waltman). The pornographic film is also a destination video, intercut with footage of the pair taking a guided tour of China. As of 2006, more than 100,000 copies were sold, according to The New York Times. Its commercial success led to an Adult Video News Award for "Top Selling Title of the Year," rumors about her gender due to the size of her genitals, and… Another Night in Chyna. Red Light District announced plans last year to release a sequel in March 2009. "Joanie is a huge celebrity that crosses many markets," the company's president, David Joseph, said. "The first movie continues to sell extremely well and the prospect of selling another one was a no-brainer." We've yet to see the evidence of the second coming of Chyna.

Jo Hale / Getty Images

Gene Simmons

This is probably more of the KISS frontman's Love Gun than anyone should ever be subjected to. In 2008, Gene Simmons' awkward black-and-white sex tape hit the Internet, making him one of the oldest amateur porn stars in our list—he was 58 at the time. Though he has always proven himself the consummate showman with KISS, spitting blood and sporting outrageous costumes, Gene Simmons having sex in a T-shirt lacks the same production value. Some people thought that Simmons may have released it himself to put his name back in some headlines. The poor quality of the tape, however, suggests otherwise.

Todd Williamson / Getty Images

Verne Troyer

The jokes about Verne Troyer, better known as Mini Me, from the Austin Powers franchise, being in a sex tape are so easy they aren't even worth making. In 2008, someone got hold of a video of Troyer and his then-girlfriend, aspiring model Ranae Shrider, and provided it to Kevin Blatt, who also brokered the deal for Paris Hilton's infamous video. TMZ reported at the time that Blatt had received a $100,000 offer. (Cue $1 billion gag here.) And another "gag" here for a tongue that—as if it were possible—rivals that of fellow amateur porn-maker Gene Simmons.