Sugar Equations

Nachos, beer, pizza, soft drinks—that big game spread may be killing your masculinity. Arthur De Vany reports on how carb-laden snacks are sacking Americans' testosterone levels.

Scary Dairy

6 oz. Stonyfield Lowfat Blueberry Fruit-on-the-Bottom Yogurt = 2 Three Musketeers Fun Size candy bars = 22 grams of sugar

Yogurt gets marketed as diet food for tummy-conscious ladies (we’re looking at you, Jamie Lee.) But with all this sugar, it’s more like dessert in a plastic cup – and just as sweet as two candy bars.

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Sugar and Spice

One cup Motts Original Applesauce = 2.5 servings of Apple Danish Coffee Cake = 25 grams of sugar

You thought just because it was in sauce form it was less sugary than coffee cake? There’s a reason applesauce tastes so good with a savory pork chop.

Flicker / John Cudworth

Sink Like a Scone

Panera Orange Scone = 31 jelly-filled Dunkin Donuts Munchkins = 62 grams of sugar

Scones – they’re so fancy and Euro. They must be healthier than drive-thru doughnut holes, right? Wrong. This one will leave you spazzing with its whopping 62 grams of sugar.

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Mo’ Cocoa?

Grande (16 oz.) Starbucks Hot Chocolate = 16 Hershey Kisses = 41 grams of sugar

In weather like this you can be forgiven for indulging in a steamy cup of hot chocolate – just be aware of exactly how indulgent you’re being.

Jody Barnett / Flickr

Eat Fresh, Not Fructose

Subway Foot-Long Chicken Teriyaki = 2 servings of Honey Nut Clusters cereal = 34 grams of sugar

Tastes like chicken? We would have guessed cake, considering how much sugar is in this teriyaki sub from the sandwich chain that markets itself as a weight-loss panacea.

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Something’s Fishy

10.4 oz. Crunchy Shrimp Sushi Roll = 16 servings of Ramen Noodles = 16 grams of sugar

Sugar in sushi? It’s no fish story. These shrimp rolls would make Charlie the Tuna beach himself.

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Slippery Fruit

One cup Mashed Banana = 1 Snickers bar = 28 grams of sugar

Many fruits have naturally occurring sugar in them, which certainly doesn’t mean you should take them off the menu. Still, it’s good to be aware that you’re not downing pure potassium.

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Great Taste, Less Healthy

One Collins glass (5.7 fluid oz.) Tequila Sunrise = 2 servings of Fruity Pebbles cereal = 18 grams of sugar

Liquor and mixers can be just as bad as soda pop when it comes to sugar content. A tequila sunrise may warm the gullet, but it expands the gut as well.

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Hawaiian Punch

“Power Size” (30 oz.) Aloha Pineapple Jamba Juice Smoothie with power boost = three 12 oz. cans of Pepsi = 123 grams of sugar

Let’s just call this Exhibit A in the case against fruit juice always being healthy. Sure, fruit contains natural sugars – pineapple especially. But at a jaw-dropping 123 grams, this smoothie is an imposter in the healthy section of the food pyramid.

Bait-and-Switch

20 oz. bottle of Vitaminwater = six-and-a-half 6.5 oz. Starbucks Double Shot Lite = 32.5 grams of sugar

Targeted by a class-action lawsuit in 2010 for not being upfront about its high sugar content (among other things) Vitaminwater is indeed up there with regular soda when it comes to sweetness. Shocker: it’s owned by Coca-Cola.

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Sweet Re-Leaf

Cosi Signature Salad = 1 box (about 13 pieces) of Hershey’s Milk Duds = 19 grams of sugar

There are lots of good things in this Cosi salad – vitamins A and C, calcium, protein – and a lot of one bad thing in particular: sugar. The whole thing also happens to weigh in at a fairly un-salad-like 611 calories.