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Robert Pattinson’s complete and utter despair at being the star of the most popular vampire-abstinence franchise on earth is well-documented at this point, and Ryan Seacrest’s sneaky attempt to ask about his nonexistent-except-in-the-minds-of-14-year-olds-and-InTouch-Magazine-editors relationship with costar Kristen Stewart isn’t going to change that. Bonus passive-aggressive points to Pattinson for becoming very interested in his Bing gift bag the minute his publicist starts yelling at Seacrest.

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