N. Korea Offers Joint Inquiry into Hacks

A day after the Federal Bureau of Investigation claimed that North Korea is behind the Sony hacks, an unidentified official from the country’s foreign ministry released a statement offering to help the United States—or else. “As the United States is spreading groundless allegations and slandering us, we propose a joint investigation with it into this incident,” the statement says. “We have a way to prove that we have nothing to do with the case without resorting to torture, as what the CIA does.” The nameless official also added, “The U.S. should bear in mind that it will face serious consequences in case it rejects our proposal for joint investigation and presses for what it called countermeasures while finding fault with.”