Naked Image Airport Scanners Removed

Little did you know that every time you raise your arms and pass through one of those fancy airport security scanners, someone gets an eyeful of your wobbly bits. Not to worry: the Transportation Security Administration has announced plans to remove the “naked image” scanners from U.S. airports because developers can’t write software to make the images less graphic (is that an explosive in your knickers, or are you just happy to see me?). But government agencies across the country will continue to use them, which means federal employees will still have their genitals imaged.