Making His Numbers
President George W. Bush used the occasion of the NATO summit in Latvia today to unveil an ambitious plan for the remainder of his term in office, vowing to complete up to twenty Sudoku puzzles a day between now and 2009.
To many of the leaders gathering in Latvia who had expected to see a chastened U.S. president in the aftermath of his party's midterm election losses, Bush's ambitious Sudoku agenda came as a complete surprise.
"All of those critics out there who expected George Bush to roll over for the next two years are going to be sorely disappointed," said Portuguese president Aníbal Cavaco Silva. "He had a lot of pencils sharpened and he seems totally prepared to use them."
While some NATO leaders seemed nonplussed by Bush's Sudoku agenda, British Prime Minister and fellow lame duck Tony Blair pledged to join the president in completing twenty Sudoku puzzles a day, pronouncing them "jolly good."
Professor Davis Logsdon, who heads up the political science department of the University of Minnesota, said that Bush's Sudoku initiative may represent an opportunity to secure his legacy for his eight years in office.
"In President Bush's first six years, gas prices shot up to three dollars a gallon and the budget deficit soared to $248 billion," Logsdon said. "These Sudoku puzzles could be his last chance to show he's good with numbers."
Elsewhere, top Chechen rebels turned down Russian President Vladimir Putin's offer to meet with him over sushi.
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Writer and comedian Andy Borowitz's work has appeared in Condé Nast Portfolio, the New Yorker and The New York Times. His Web site is BorowitzReport.com.
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