Letters to the Magazine

Many parents of autistic children appreciated our cover story on the challenges facing these young people as they come of age. A mother, just diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer, wrote, "Mortality is hitting us right in the face. Your article conveyed the private despair and anxiety we feel about the future of our son." Others illustrated how behavioral, occupational and speech therapies are working, and many listed successful programs emphasizing jobs and long-term assisted living for autistic adults. But the costs can be staggering, and many families called for more government funding. "When the 500,000 children with autism turn 21, we will face a social-services crisis," said a mom of two autistic teens. One father wished that for just 15 minutes his nonverbal son could speak. "I'd ask if he's happy. Is his bed comfortable? Does he like the clothes we pick out for him? I'd ask if he knows how much I love him. And does he love me?"

As the father of an 11-year-old girl with autism, I've witnessed the progress in the early detection of autism and the development of preschool and elementary-school programs to mitigate its impact ("What Happens When They Grow Up," Nov. 27). By comparison, as my daughter approaches adolescence, I'm shocked to see the relative dearth of quality services for those in middle school and beyond. Many therapy providers and teachers prefer working with young children--not older ones who face more intractable challenges and are more physically imposing. As a result, autistic teens and adults often languish. We urgently need programs for social and learning opportunities during the latter school years and adulthood, properly targeted job training, independent and supported living arrangements, insurance and financial planning.

Russell Vakharia

Torrance, Calif.

It is true that autism covers a broad spectrum of challenges. Luckily for me, my 7-year-old son came with many more gifts than challenges. Yes, autism is a social disorder, but I find it frustrating that much of the advice I receive focuses on how to help my son not stand out. This is the reality of the world we live in, and I do my best. But I can't help wondering if a high-functioning autistic could find the cure for cancer or solve global warming. We'll never know if they are too busy calculating proper eye-contact ratios and handling the sensory torture of wearing the clothes to fit in instead of what's comfortable. When all is well, my son fixes our broken appliances, tells the electrician what he did wrong and takes good care of his younger sister. When he's stressed out, he washes his hands until they bleed. Instead of teaching our kids how to chit-chat, I'd love programs to teach neurotypicals that their quirky peers are worth knowing. My son can't always answer well-meaning strangers in the grocery store, but he's smarter than anyone I know.

Holly Castille

Pflugerville, Texas

The problems your cover story describes are only the tip of the iceberg. Even children like mine, who are mildly affected, experience profound rejection at school. Our 13-year-old son is very bright, but he was bullied so badly and so ignored by teachers that we were forced to home-school him. If public schools are any indication of society's treatment of people with autism, then the future is very bleak indeed. Many teachers have no clue how to help, so they blame the child for not being able to tolerate crowds and teasing. It is the child's fault that he cries easily and does not adjust well to change. The Individuals With Disabilities Education Act, which is supposed to help children with special needs, is not enforced. Schools practically laugh at you when you request accommodation. I applaud the attention you've given to autism, but I'm doubtful of its making any difference in my lifetime. If our problems are so vast now with our son, I cannot bear to think about his adulthood.

Rebecca Smith

Baton Rouge, La.

The focus of your autism article could not have been more in tune with what special-needs families face today. My parents' and my greatest fear is what my 18-year-old sister with Down syndrome will do when she's no longer eligible for schooling. Learning, homework and other activities have been a positive force throughout her life, and she's grown accustomed to daily routines of being challenged to grow mentally and socially in a specialized academic environment. Whether our loved ones have Down syndrome, autism, mental retardation or simply learning disabilities, our families have the same concerns and wants for these children: personal happiness and self-worth. Reading about families banding together to face daily issues on a local and regional level is uplifting and reassuring. But we are in dire need of government funding to implement working solutions in our communities. It breaks my heart to read about elderly parents wondering what will happen to their disabled children when they pass.

Bethany Cortese

Boston, Mass.

I want families of autistic children to have hope for the future. It's all their children have. My 35-year-old daughter couldn't say a three-syllable word by the time she was 18. When we retired, we moved to a house where there were sidewalks and a grocery store on the same side of the street. Robin got a job bagging groceries, and my husband became her "job coach." Saying "paper or plastic" was our goal. We started treating Robin like an adult, and slowly but surely she made progress. She has continued to improve with diet, vitamins and language therapy. Today she is in her own condo, is a cashier at the same store, drives to work in her own car and sings in her church choir. She comes to our house for dinner nightly, and I closely monitor her success. She is proud of her accomplishments and likes being independent in her own space. I never dared dream such success for her!

Ann Millan

Clearwater, Fla.

Thanks for your well-researched article on the shortage of services for adults with autism. My 30-year-old daughter is one of those victims who fell off the face of the earth when she turned 21. Massachusetts, like most states, has laws that mandate services for children, but not adults. When Katie aged out of the school system, she was lucky enough to find a group home. However, the experience soon turned into a nightmare. I was horrified at what I came to learn of how she was treated in her first and second group homes. As a single mother, I pulled her out of the system, left my job, bought a house, hired a staff and set up my own program. In our third year, we are hailed as a model by state officials and families with autistic adults. Now we're helping other families work through the complex system of laws governing housing and services for this population--a patchwork of revenue mentioned in your article. Seeing Katie smile as she does her daily paper route and runs errands for her house makes the journey worth all the sleepless nights.

Anita Perkins

Founder, Katydid Foundation

Newburyport, Mass.

As a 38-year-old with Asperger's syndrome, I'm disappointed you didn't discuss the growing autistic advocacy movement that holds that autism is simply a different way of being and should be treated as such. We find the concept of a "cure" for our condition as offensive as African-Americans would find the concept of a "cure" for dark skin. But more important, though your article was about autistic adults, you didn't interview any high-functioning ones. I don't think anyone is better qualified than an autistic adult to inform people about the many widely held misconceptions about our condition.

Parrish S. Knight

Silver Spring, Md.

As a nine-year breast-cancer survivor and a naturopathic physician specializing in women's health care for more than 20 years, I agree that Suzanne Somers's bioidentical-hormone bandwagon is overzealous at best and possibly dangerous ("Questionable Claims," Periscope, Nov. 27). I am aware of no convincing evidence that taking estrogen in any form, even herbs, is safe for breast-cancer survivors or women at high risk of estrogen-related malignancies. Is looking "forever young" worth the risk? I don't think so.

Judyth Reichenberg-Ullman, N.D.

Edmonds, Wash.

I applaud Suzanne Somers for writing about hormone-replacement therapy and bioidentical hormones. It's been more than 40 years since the women's liberation movement began, and the medical establishment has done little to help menopausal women know if hormones should be taken and for how long. Perhaps Somers's book will spur much-needed research to give us some definitive answers.

Christina Miller

Seal Beach, Calif.

In "A Renewed War Over 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' " (Periscope, Nov. 27), you report that the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network and gay vets hope they might make some progress in Congress at a time when the military "can't afford to turn away the willing and able." The Pentagon discharged 742 service members for homosexuality last year--less than a tenth of 1 percent of the uniformed personnel in the armed forces. More than 90 percent of them "told," since they wanted to receive an honorable discharge. What a scam. Let's hope the new secretary of Defense can bring that 742 down to almost zero. He should implement the option Congress has given all secretaries of Defense since 1994--going back to asking about sexual orientation as part of the enlistment process and keeping gays from joining in the first place. That will return us to the policy before President Bill Clinton, which meant gays had to lie to join the military. Prior to Clinton, barring homosexuals was presidential policy, but thanks to Clinton, it's now federal law.

Cmdr. Wayne L. Johnson

JAGC, Navy (Ret.)

Alexandria, Va.

Your article states that "gay British soldiers serve alongside Americans in Iraq and Afghanistan, sharing quarters." American soldiers also serve alongside other American soldiers who are gay and in the same situations. The Pentagon's archaic policy does not prevent gays from serving in the military. They always have served and always will, for the same reasons anyone else serves. Most young commanders and troops have no problem serving with a fellow soldier regardless of sexual orientation, race, creed or religion. The problem lies with the stodgy cold-war thinkers at the Pentagon, who should have retired long ago. It's time for a more attuned generation to take over.

Jeff Jackson

San Diego, Calif.

I applaud Jayne Steiner-Kanak on her splendid account of celebrating the holidays this summer with her terminally ill mother ("An Unseasonably Warm Thanksgiving," my turn, Nov. 27). As someone involved with caregiver issues, I emphasize the importance of celebrating the moment. Steiner-Kanak provided a valuable lesson for caregivers: think zany, not zealous; think "want to," not "have to." Caregiving should not have to be a catastrophe. With the right attitude, it can be turned into a celebration.

Chloe JonPaul

Bowie, Md.

As I browsed all 14 pages of your "Holiday Gift Guide Special," with prices ranging from $2 for a Superfast Match Box Jeep Wrangler to $2,500 for the sublime Sharp Aquos LCD, I wondered how many readers actually bought any of the magazine's suggestions ("Untangling the Holidays," Tip Sheet, Nov. 27). All the while I felt quite smug and glad to be only window shopping. Because instead of shopping frantically, I methodically plan and shop for those on my list all through the year. Not only does it beat the hustle and bustle, but it allows me the leisure to try and get it right. Needless to say, this year's holiday shopping is all wrapped up.

JoAnn Lee Frank

Clearwater, Fla.

A brown mink handbag? A gray fur coat? A mink and leather bracelet? And a briefcase made of 100 percent alligator? Is this really NEWSWEEK's idea of what readers want to see on anyone's holiday shopping list? Your readers are sophisticated, well informed and compassionate. This is a Santa list we can do without.

Jennie Taylor Martin

Virginia Beach, Va.

Here we go again with another attempt to generate acceptance of a dollar coin ("Change: A New Currency for $1 Coins," Periscope, Nov. 27). First, it was a reduction in size from the traditional "silver" dollar to something resembling a quarter. Then a change of color to "golden" was identified as a way to encourage acceptance of the coin, but it tarnished easily. Now the idea is to change the portrait on the dollar coin every few months, similar to the quarter-coin program. The only way a dollar coin could gain acceptance would be if vending machines regularly accepted the denomination. Without a commitment on the part of vending-machine manufacturers, the dollar coin will continue to remain as unused as the equally rare half-dollar coin. To further encourage the use of such coins, the dollar bill could be removed from circulation, as it was long ago in Canada.

Daniel B. Lovgren

Elk Grove, Calif.

The overriding reason that previous dollar coins didn't catch on is that people regarded them as novelties, not as "real" money. You never got them at the bank unless you asked for them, and then the tellers had to hunt for some. The Federal Reserve needs to require banks to take a significant percentage of their new $1 currency in coins, and ask them to give out coins first and use paper bills only if they're specifically requested. They need to run ads that show people using the coins as real money and that point out that a $1 coin is more convenient in a machine than four quarters. Since the demise of the penny seems inevitable, that will free up one slot in cash registers.

Shari Prange

Bonny Doon, Calif.

In his Nov. 27 letter, Prof. Randall Balmer attempts to perpetuate an inside-the-Beltway urban legend that the rise of the religious right was a reaction to IRS efforts to revoke Bob Jones University's tax-exempt status because of racist policies. I was a foot soldier on the ground in the mid-'70s, having been pro-life since my teens. I also rejected racism as a grievous sin and regarded the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. as a personal hero. It wasn't Roe v. Wade, but the 1.5 million to 1.6 million abortions a year it quickly spawned, that drove previously uninvolved evangelicals and Roman Catholics by the millions into politics between 1976 and 1980 in support of strongly pro-life candidates like Ronald Reagan. Most of those people had never heard of the Bob Jones case, and if they had, most would have rejected the university's policies. Also, I worked for W. A. Criswell from 1975 to 1988, and he changed his mind in the mid-'70s--appalled by the millions of babies being killed--and became unequivocally pro-life, as indicated in the notes to his "Criswell Study Bible" (1979). Southern Baptists did pass a pro-choice resolution in 1971, but after a conservative rebellion against such liberal positions prevailed, the convention overwhelmingly passed strong pro-life resolutions in 1982 and 1984.

Richard Land, President

Southern Baptist Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission

Nashville, Tenn.

I was very unhappy with your representation of me in "The New First Grade: Too Much Too Soon" (Sept. 11). I was happy to speak to your reporter on this important topic and I believe the article highlighted an important issue, but the things that were printed did not reflect the entirety of my sentiments. I was critical of the mandated curriculum at my daughter's Oakland, Calif., kindergarten. I felt it was at odds with the developmental needs of many children. I thought, however, that her teacher was wonderful, indeed heroic, under the circumstances. My daughter loved her teacher, too. Any suggestion to the contrary is simply false.

Tiffany Aske

Via Internet

In "The Forgotten Battleground" (Nov. 27), we said that Britain lost the Boer War. In fact, it lost the first Boer War in 1881 but prevailed in 1902.

In the "splurges" section of Tip Sheet's "Holiday Gift Guide Special," the price for the vermeil double-tassel crystal necklace by Erickson Beamon is $755 (212-643-4810 for more info). The mini leather key chain in the "Fashion for Her" section is by Il Bisonte ($88; 212-966-8773). The designers of the ties pictured in the "Splurges" section are, clockwise, from top left: BCBG, Valentino, Banana Republic, Duncan Quinn. The red shoes pictured in top of the week are called "Wherever" by Christian Louboutin ($495; christianlouboutin.fr). NEWSWEEK regrets the errors.