Eliot: The Wind Beneath Our Wings

On 'The View,' Dr. Laura Schlessinger stands up for the sisterhood by implying that the Spitzer mess is ... his wife Silda's fault for not satisfying her man? Now that's progress. Score: 31

Still kicking, part one: Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, who says the media and his race, not the affair he tried to hide, are the reason his career's on life support. Score: 56

Still kicking, part two: Remember this guy? Despite the guilty plea, despite the hypocrisy of being an anti-gay politician who solicited gay sex, Larry Craig remains a U.S. senator. Score: 62