[Insert Your Own Pocket-Rocket Joke Here]

Thirty years after the fact, Barbara Walters needlessly reveals that she had an affair with a married U.S. senator. Why now? Because she's got a new memoir to push. Score: 37

At a panel on sports blogging, author Buzz Bissinger goes berserk on Deadspin blogger Will Leitch, bullying and cursing away what could've been some valid points about journalism. Score: 43

Here's how bad it's gotten for Roger Clemens: all those alleged affairs come to light, including one with a country-music star that began when she was 15—and no one is shocked. Score: 55