We’re Messin’ With Texas

Texas oil tycoon T. Boone Pickens reneges on his vow to pay $1 million to anyone who provides proof that the Swift Boat Vets for Truth were wrong about John Kerry. Score: 24

Unhappy with a bullpen demotion, Houston pitcher Shawn Chacon grabs his own G.M. by the neck and tosses him to the ground. Result: a demotion off the team. Score: 67

Karl Rove says Obama is "the guy at the country club" who "makes snide comments about everyone." The best part: Rove made his snide comment at ... the Capitol Hill Club! Score: 78