Some Sauce With Your Indignity?

On one of Beijing's smoggiest days yet, Olympic committee prez Jacques Rogge, a doctor, praises China for doing all "humanly possible" to clean up the air. Inhaler, anyone? Score: 6

It's not often regular citizens make it to the Index, but Reginald Peterson of Florida is that good. He called 911—twice!—because his spicy Italian Subway was missing its sauce. Score: 38

Hats off to our first 100-point scorer. John Edwards outclassed the competition by cheating on his wife, who has cancer, and then lying about it during the campaign. Ouch!