Sir Elton John’s Fight Club

Elton John is such a whiner, his boyfriend once made a film about him called "Tantrums & Tiaras." The latest: a spat with Lily Allen—something about drinking and snorting at an award show. Some of John's Greatest Snits:

Madonna: "Best f–––ing live act? F––– off!" he said in 2004. "Anyone who lip-syncs in public onstage when you pay £75 to see them should be shot."

Princess Diana: He sang at her funeral, but they quarreled shortly before because she failed to show up at a Versace book party for his charity.

George Michael: "There appears to be a deep-rooted unhappiness in his life," John said in 2004. Michael's retort: "Elton John knows very little about George Michael, and that's a fact."

Victoria Beckham: Blamed her for the Beckhams' reported marital woes. "But you learn from your mistakes," he added, helpfully.