Don’t Put Me In, Coach

Tired jokes, tired format. (A variety show? In 2008?) Rosie O'Donnell earns all of those Thanksgiving puns with her low-rated, occasionally mean-spirited, live-TV turkey. Score: 13

New York Knick Stephon Marbury (shown here in this rare photo of him standing up) refuses to enter a game in which his exhausted squad was shorthanded. Score: 57

Memo to Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi: stop describing Obama (and other black people) as "tanned" and we'll stop putting you in this spot. Capiche? Score: 61