Q&A: Rosie Goes Back to Therapy

Rosie O'Donnell isn't really a therapist, but she's playing one on TV, in the Lifetime movie "America." She spoke to Ramin Setoodeh.

Is this your first Lifetime movie?
Yes. My first of many, I hope.

Are you a big fan of them?
Years back, I used to be very into them. Valerie Bertinelli married a guy who had an evil twin, she married the wrong one—those kinds of things. I know that I used to be obsessed with serial murderers, like Diane Downs. The woman who killed the diet doctor, I remember watching that one.

Now that you're done blogging, do you miss it?
I do. But now I'm drawing on these Munny dolls.

What are those?
My agent sent me these white dolls that look like spacemen and you draw on them with magic markers or crayons. I put them on my site and the money goes to the school I opened.

How often do you paint them?
Constantly, like an OCD.

Are you driving Kelli crazy?
Ohmigod. Now she says to me, "Honey, we're going to Parker's play, and we'll be there for about 45 minutes, because we want to get good seats, so why don't you bring two dolls?"

Your son Parker is in a play?
Yes. He did well. Last year I directed the play. But this year I could not, because it's Shakespeare and I don't understand it.

Which play?
The one with Puck.

"A Midsummer Night's Dream"?
Yes. He was the guy in the beginning, the duke or whatever, who's getting married.

Did you give him any advice on acting?
We did the lines over and over again. I had to rent the movie with Kevin Kline to understand what the story was. Because reading the story, I could not get it. And then I got the Cliffs Notes and they didn't help.

Even the Cliffs Notes didn't help?
I am Shakespeare illiterate.

Will you do Broadway again?
I certainly hope so. I heard a rumor that "Annie" is coming back with Miss Hannigan.

Would you do that?
Of course I would! In five seconds. Are you kidding me?

Let's tell them to cast you.
They already talked to me.

You wouldn't even need to memorize the lines.
I already know the whole thing! You'll stay up 'til this place shines like the top of the Chrysler Building.

You're serenading me!
There you go.

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Operation Snow White
After playing a "good" Nazi onscreen, who wouldn't take a fairy-tale vacation? Over V-Day weekend, Tom Cruise did just that, allowing little Suri to frolic with Mickey and Minnie (both presumably Thetan-free), and reportedly sleep in Disney World's Cinderella suite. Just like a normal family—providing the average visit is captured by hundreds of cell-phone cams.

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We're Bullish on Our Idol Tatiana
More proof that you can't teach an old dog--sorry, old reality show--new tricks: "American Idol" added a new judge and new rules this season, but once again it's a wackadoodle contestant who's stealing the show. She is Tatiana del Toro, and, like her name suggests, her personality is as subtle as a bull. She was cut from the show last week, but one new rule rescues "wild cards," so nobody's really cut. Hurry back, Tatiana, and bring Sanjaya with you.