Good Riddance

If, thanks to the Internet, you see the world as a really big Peyton Place, then you struck gold with all kinds of celebrity scandal this summer. But if you’re like me, you spent the summer in shock over the escalating foreign and domestic traumas facing our dear nation, such as dummies with bombs, angry media personalities, and an economy that still sucks. So I did a little post-summer-vacation dirt digging and found the pop-cultural train wrecks that people are still—still!—talking about to figure out who, exactly, still cares about this stuff and why. Because the way these "scandals" perpetuate themselves is a complete mystery to me.

As for Lady Gaga’s meat-dress scandal, I have a prediction: Lady Gaga will one day kill an animal onstage and throw the blood on her audience.