The Kid Stays in the Picture

With the U.S. media elite slobbering over Barack Obama's every overseas event, Team McCain has found some pretty creative ways to keep its candidate in this week's papers.

Initially, "a very senior aide" ginned up buzz for the Republican nominee by telling veteran conservative columnist Bob Novak (inaccurately) that a veep announcement was imminent and "suggest[ing] [he] put it out.

will air radio ads promoting McCain’s candidacy in three domestic Berlins: Berlin, New Hampshire; Berlin, Pennsylvania; and Berlin, Wisconsin. Adorable! Given that a combined total of 18,000 people live in that trio of swing-state towns, the point--again--is to get mentioned in stories that otherwise would've been 100 percent Obama, and not, you know, to get votes.

After all that, you'd think the creative minds at McCain HQ would be exhausted. Think again. Aiming to counterprogram Obama's Berlin speech on trans-Atlantic relations, Team McCain announced this afternoon that the candidate will helicopter from Louisiana to an oil rig in the Gulf Coast Thursday to make the case for expanded off-shore drilling. According to Politico's Jonathan Martin, "the GOP nominee will be joined by a small press pool of reporters and photographers on a trek sure to offer memorable images." Even better: Hurricane Dolly is currently lashing the South Texas coast with sustained winds of 100 mph--which is something, Martin writes, that "campaign aides have been watching... closely." Here's hoping that the forecast is safe enough for McCain to follow through--but still "dangerous" enough to involve some dramatic breezes and foreboding clouds. Because nothing says "cover it" to a cable producer like the story of a man pursuing his photo-op, the elements be damned.

No word yet whether McCain plans to address global warming from the inside of an active volcano. 

UPDATE, 4:00 p.m.: Only an hour after finalizing the oil-rig adventure, Team McCain has called the whole thing off. The reason? "Weather," says spokesman MIchael Goldfarb. Or at least that's what they want us to believe. It's worth noting, however, that "the Coast Guard closed 29 miles of the Mississippi River at New Orleans after a 600-foot tanker and a barge loaded with fuel oil collided Wednesday, breaking the barge in half" and spilling "more than 419,000 gallons of heavy, almost tar-like fuel" that formed "a slick 12 miles long." Promoting off-shore drilling within spitting distance of a giant oil spill would've guaranteed considerable coverage for McCain--but probably not the kind he was looking for.

I am the only one who thinks the senator should invest in some new lucky charms? Rumor has it that Obama keeps a "tiny monkey god" in his pocket--in case anyone over in Crystal City was wondering.