On the McPlane: Ice Cream but No Veep

It goes without saying that there was much suspense on John McCain’s campaign plane this afternoon as it traveled from Phoenix to Dayton, Ohio, where McCain is expected to unveil his vice presidential running mate tomorrow. But campaign aides weren’t talking. “I will not discuss the process,” McCain spokeswoman Brooke Buchanan told anxious reporters. “I’m going to have to refer those questions to Baskin-Robbins.” Come again?

Let’s start from the beginning: Shortly after 3 p.m. ET, McCain, joined by his wife, Cindy, boarded his campaign plane in Arizona. Noticeably absent were the cadre of senior aides McCain huddled with in Arizona this week, including strategists Steve Schmidt and Charlie Black and speechwriter Mark Salter. Shortly after takeoff, Steve Duprey, a longtime McCain friend and self-proclaimed “chief morale officer” wandered back to the press cabin, where he exhibited a few new T shirts he recently designed for the campaign (BARACK OBAMA AND PARIS HILTON one read. AT LEAST ONE OF THEM HAS A GOOD ENERGY POLICY). Duprey grinned and announced that he had come up with a new song in honor of the day. Humming it to the tune of Bobby McFerrin’s cheeseball '80s hit, “Don’t Worry Be Happy,” he sang:

You say you don’t know news to write
And your editors are uptight
Don’t worry … be happy
Say you have veepstakes blues
Just sit back and have some booze
Don’t worry … be happy
Deadlines come, deadlines go
Well soon enough you’ll know
Don’t worry … be happy
You could stay up all night
But you might not guess it right
Don’t worry … Its Duprey
Be happy … Its Duprey

Midflight, Kimmie Lipscomb, who handles press advance for the campaign, began walking the aisle with a tray of Baskin-Robbins ice cream cups filled with the chain’s latest flavor, Straight Talk Crunch. (Obama, it seems, will also get his own flavor, Whirl of Change.) McCain’s concoction, produced with no input by the candidate, is a swirl of vanilla ice cream, caramel, white chocolate and, subject of much dispute among the press corps, a nut or a crunchy candy bar. “I believe it's almonds,” one reporter said. “No, it’s a walnut,” another insisted. Meanwhile, Buchanan insisted there was a hint of Heath Bar. “There’s some toffee in there,” she said. But after some intense questioning about the exact recipe, she declined to answer any further questions. “We will not talk about the ice-cream process,” she declared. What did McCain think of the concoction? “It’s delicious,” he said, according to Buchanan—though even that was of some dispute. “Is he saying it's delicious or is that you saying it's delicious,” a reporter asked, his fingers positioned on the keyboard of his laptop. “He said it. He said, quote, 'It’s delicious',” Buchanan said, a trace of annoyance in her voice. A short while later, McCain deplaned in Dayton, where the pool of reporters there on hand to film his arrival had nearly tripled from its usual size. “Have you made the decision? Will we know tonight?” reporters shouted. McCain waved off the question, shooting members of the media a thumbs up.