Stephen Colbert took last week off, so he missed the whole “covfefe” debacle. “I know this happened five days ago, but I will not be denied the chance to enjoy this one,” the host said during his first monologue back on Monday night. The rest of the world may have moved on, but he wasn’t quite ready to do so.
“Strong statement, sir,” Colbert said of Trump’s half sentence on Twitter. “Bold. Presidential.” Comparing the tweet to that infamous dress, he said, “Instead of white versus blue, it was sleepy versus stroke?” As for Trump’s attempt at a humorous response, Colbert suggested he apply the same approach to the rest of his agenda.
As Colbert imagined Trump tweeting, “Who can figure out the real reason I inflicted my corrosive vortex of paranoia, wounded ego, and stifling inhumanity on this great nation ??? Enjoy!”
The Late Show host reserved his even more pointed criticism, however, for Trump’s “Muslim travel ban,” which the president has started pushing once again following the recent terrorist attack in London. “A revised version is headed to the Supreme Court, and the administration’s only chance of winning is not calling it a ‘travel ban,’” Colbert explained. “This thing should get approved by the Supreme Court as long as nobody calls it a ‘travel ban.’”
Cut to Colbert reading a recent tweet from the president: “People, the lawyers and the courts can call it whatever they want, but I am calling it what we need and what it is, a TRAVEL BAN!”
“C’mon!” Colbert said, slapping his forehead. “Mr. President, that was the one thing you’re not supposed to say! That’s like going to an AA meeting and shouting, ‘Who wants shots?!’”
After reading another of Trump’s tweets in which he denounced the Justice Department for “watering down” the ban, Colbert said, “Mr. President, you can’t criticize the Justice Department. You control the Justice Department.” Quoting “third-grade boys everywhere,” he asked Trump, “Why are you hitting yourself?”
And all of that was taped before Trump tweeted this, yet again, on Monday night.