"Never been happier in all my life / Since the day that I moved to Fife."
Kate and William were entertained by the camp all-male St Andrew's University acapella group 'The Other Guys' after their dinner yesterday. Here's a sample of their work for you to enjoy, sung to the tune of 'Heaven is a place on Earth', complete with Kate cut-outs and the killer line: "Never been happier in all my life / Since the day that I moved to Fife."
Kate joked with students at St Andrew's dinner in London last night about her appearance in a student fashion show
Long before she was photographed nearly-nude in France, Kate Middleton was photographed only partially dressed in St Andrews, when she appeared in a university fashion show wearing a flimsy negligeee.
It has been said that Prince William fell for his wife at that moment, muttering, "That's hot!' to a pal when she appeared on the catwalk at their university, St Andrews, and last night, as Kate and William supported a fundraising bash for their old university, Kate made a veiled reference to the infamous outfit.
While chatting to a female undergraduate about fund-raising initiatives, Kate said: "I hope you weren't involved in the fashion show, you never know what you are going to be asked to wear!"
The royal couple were supporting the University's 600th Anniversary Appeal which aims to provide financial support for able students who would not otherwise be able to study at St Andrews.
Charles makes comments in Sydney
Prince Charles has revealed that Prince harry has phoned him three times since he was posted to Afghanistan.
The Prince of Wales was speaking to Australian military personnel during an event in Sydney, where he and Camilla are currently on tour, and revealed that Harry had phoned home three times since his deployment.
John Stillwell / AFP / Gety Images
Valentine Low, one of the few British newspapermen on the tour, reports in the (paywalled) Times:
Major Karl Reynolds of 19th Chief Engineer Works, who met the Prince at Garden Island, home of the Royal Australian Navy’s largest Pacific Ocean base, said: “He was talking about the Apache and what a lethal bit of kit they are — once the Taleban see it they disappear.
Prince in Tasmania
Charles and Camilla's Tour of Australia is turning into one big animal photo-op. Fresh after Camilla and the cuddly Roo in a blanket, here's Chaz and the acrobatic sheep.
Charles, wearing a Andersen and Sheppard suit made from Tasmanian merino wool, was at Leenavale Sheep Stud, Sorell in the island state of Tasmania, promoting his Campaign for Wool.
Brendon Thorne / Getty Images
This seems like the only opportunity I will ever have to share my one and only Tasmanian joke so here goes: "You are now landing in Tasmania, where the local tine is 1974..."
A touching video from the East Anglia Children’s Hospital, featuring a letter their patron Kate Middleton wrote them set to music and pictures.
Caution: May induce weepiness!
Seatbelts won't save you in event of a crash
The outspoken boss of a European budget airline sometimes used by the Royals when they are traveling privately and keen to keep costs to a minimum has said what many air travelers have long suspected: that seatbelts on airplanes are useless and ‘won’t save you’ in the event of a crash.
Michael O’Leary, boss of Ryanair, made the comments as part of his campaign to be allowed to fly super-budget planes with standing room only, currently prohibited as passengers must be belted in for take-off.
Planes, he said in comments reported by the Daily Telegraph, are just ‘bloody buses with wings’, adding, “If there ever was a crash on an aircraft, God forbid, a seatbelt won't save you. You don’t need a seatbelt on the London Underground. You don’t need a seatbelt on trains which are traveling at 120mph, If they crash you’re all dead.”
Air travel is not a “wondrous sexual experience” and planes are just “bloody buses with wings”, he added.
Us weekly report 'not true' says Palace
Us Weekly made a rather shocking claim on their website yesterday, saying that William and Kate sent ‘a personal note of congratulation’ to Obama on his successful re-election as president.
The Royals officially have no opinion on political matters, and certainly not on the elected heads of state of foreign countries, and had they really sent such a message, the move would have set a dangerous constitutional precedent.
No wonder then that Buckingham Palace has moved quickly to shoot down the tall tale.
“The story isn’t true,” an official press spokesman tells the Royalist of Us Weekly’s online report, which also claimed the Queen was an Obama fan and was ‘pleased’ with the result.
Pippa Middleton has received plenty of criticism for her over-simple party planning book, but she has defended herself in a piece written for the Daily Telegraph.
"Celebrate, my book on entertaining, has been a labour of love... I could have written a book that showcased the most extravagant or elaborate of occasions – after all, I spent three years working for an events company planning parties – but I wanted to produce something that was achievable."
Fair enough, you might think, but then just a paragraph later she comes up with a classic Pippa-ism:
"When having friends over for a dinner or hosting a party, I spend hours thinking it all through, creating a vision in my head of how the occasion is going to unfold. Firstly, who is going to come."
Really? You mean you have to decide who to invite when throwing a party?
Pippa's party book has been derided for offering over-simple advice
The Royalist's favourite new spoof twitter account, @pippatips, is a parodic take on Pipa Middleton's over-simple party tips.
Choice samples include:
"If you fancy a bit of a laugh, watching, reading or listening to comedy can be an amusing way to bring the smiles!"
"When driving at night, lights aren't only a legal requirement, but a fun way of seeing the road and other things!"
"Coffee is a great pick-me-up on to put some zing in those long Monday mornings, can be served with or without milk and/or sugar."
"If you want to write to someone but don't want to wait for it to be delivered via post simply send an e-mail using a computer!"
"Music can provide a great soundtrack to all sorts of activities!"
"Celebrate the traditional British Friday by visiting the pub with friends or colleagues & drinking some alcohol!"
"If you're in a pub or restaurant that is closing but you'd like to continue your night out, try a nightclub for continued fun!"
"Roast Sunday lunches make for delicious leftovers for the rest of the week!” (Oh no, sorry, that's a real one. My mistake, the Royalist)
Royals off to the races
Charles and Camilla attended the biggest Australian horse race of the year yesterday, the $6 million Melbourne Cup, as their epic tour down under continued.
Camilla presented the Melbourne Cup to the owner of the winning horse, Green Moon. Before the race she met dignitaries in the grandstand, including Amanda Elliott, the vice chairman of the Victoria Racing Club.
According to Valentine Low of The Times, Mrs. Elliott said: “She is fabulous. We talked about horses, which she knows an awful lot about. She was absolutely delighted to be here and could not believe the crowds. She said it makes Ascot look very small.”
Fergie, darling, do the world a favour and shut up.
The world's least favourite Duchess who was pointedly not invited to last year's royal wedding has been interviewed by the Hindustan Times in the furtherance of her efforts to promote her children's book, and inevitably started weighing in on the summer of royal scandal.
“Everyone has the right to privacy and one must respect that," she said. "People should focus more on what great people Kate and Harry are, and on what great work they are doing for Britain. Harry is an extraordinary soldier who is fighting in Afghanistan for his country, while Kate is a wonderful woman doing a beautiful job for the country.”
Bathroom of the Queen
A guest at last night’s “Dressing The Queen” party sends us these exclusive pictures of the posh wooden ladies WC (‘loos’ in British slang) at Buckingham Palace last night.
“It was weird, because they just looked like ordinary loos,” says our source. “They didn’t even have posh hand towels or anything. But when you went into the actual cubicle, they had these crazy old-fashioned wooden loos. It was a cold night but the seats were very warm.”
The source adds that the Queen’s designer Angela Kelly made a tearful speech of thanks at last nights event, held in the Long Gallery in the palace.
Casual night out for young royals
Prince William and Kate Middleton enjoyed a cozy, casual date on Haer Majesty's Secret service last week when they hot the local cineplex in Llandudno, Wales, for a showing of Skyfall, the new 007 movie starring Daniel Craig as James Bond.
Their experience of the movie, was very different to that enjoyed by William's dad Charles, who attended the star-studded premiere earlier this month at the Royal Albert Hall in London, where Prince Charles and his wife, the Duchess of Cornwall, walked the red carpet along with Craig, Dame Judi Dench, and Javier Bardem.
"They came in by themselves," a local tells Us Weekly of the royal couple, who recently completed a tour of Southeast Asia. "They didn't have protection with them, or if they did, he or she was very hidden."
Us says: Indeed, it was a very low-key night for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Middleton, 30, let her usually blown-out locks fall in natural waves, while her husband, also 30, dressed down in jeans and a cap. Arriving sans entourage, they headed straight to the concession stand, where they picked up two tickets, two soft drinks, and a big box of salted popcorn to share during the flick.
Modern Received Pronunciation is evolving, says study
There’s an English joke that if you want to say the word ‘yes’ the way Prince Charles says it, you should just think of his most prominent feature.
But new research indicates that the very poshest of English accents - received pronunciation – is dying off and transforming into a new, less pronounced modern form spoken by Prince William - although his wife, Kate, still speaks with the traditional, posher version.
Younger speakers have developed a more relaxed form of the accent from previous generations, by losing its characteristic elongated vowel sounds.
Royal distraction of the day - what's up with Charles's swollen hands?
Ouch! Prince Charles, Prince of Wales signs a book on Melbourne Cup Day at Flemington Racecourse on November 6, 2012 in Melbourne, Australia (Brendon Thorne / Getty Images)
I know we ink-stained wretches are supposed to be concentrating on the worthy side of the royal tour of Australia - but when Charles was signing a book at a racecourse in Melbourne today it became impossible to ignore his swollen and possibly sunburned hands any longer.
That looks sore.
Sixty years and hardly a slip.