A guest at last night’s “Dressing The Queen” party sends us these exclusive pictures of the posh wooden ladies WC (‘loos’ in British slang) at Buckingham Palace last night.

“It was weird, because they just looked like ordinary loos,” says our source. “They didn’t even have posh hand towels or anything. But when you went into the actual cubicle, they had these crazy old-fashioned wooden loos. It was a cold night but the seats were very warm.”

The source adds that the Queen’s designer Angela Kelly made a tearful speech of thanks at last nights event, held in the Long Gallery in the palace.

Prince William and Kate Middleton enjoyed a cozy, casual date on Haer Majesty's Secret service last week when they hot the local cineplex in Llandudno, Wales, for a showing of Skyfall, the new 007 movie starring Daniel Craig as James Bond.

Their experience of the movie, was very different to that enjoyed by William's dad Charles, who attended the star-studded premiere earlier this month at the Royal Albert Hall in London, where Prince Charles and his wife, the Duchess of Cornwall, walked the red carpet along with Craig, Dame Judi Dench, and Javier Bardem.

"They came in by themselves," a local tells Us Weekly of the royal couple, who recently completed a tour of Southeast Asia. "They didn't have protection with them, or if they did, he or she was very hidden."

Us says: Indeed, it was a very low-key night for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Middleton, 30, let her usually blown-out locks fall in natural waves, while her husband, also 30, dressed down in jeans and a cap. Arriving sans entourage, they headed straight to the concession stand, where they picked up two tickets, two soft drinks, and a big box of salted popcorn to share during the flick.

There’s an English joke that if you want to say the word ‘yes’ the way Prince Charles says it, you should just think of his most prominent feature.

That’s right.

‘Ears’.
But new research indicates that the very poshest of English accents - received pronunciation – is dying off and transforming into a new, less pronounced modern form spoken by Prince William - although his wife, Kate, still speaks with the traditional, posher version.

Younger speakers have developed a more relaxed form of the accent from previous generations, by losing its characteristic elongated vowel sounds.

Royal distraction of the day - what's up with Charles's swollen hands?

I know we ink-stained wretches are supposed to be concentrating on the worthy side of the royal tour of Australia - but when Charles was signing a book at a racecourse in Melbourne today it became impossible to ignore his swollen and possibly sunburned hands any longer.

That looks sore.

Royal picture of the tour so far.

Camilla showed she's game for anything today when she cuddled an injured baby kangaroo in the Aussie outback, declaring "Well, there's a first time for everything."

The baby kangaroo, called Rooby Bloo, was injured when it was hit by a car. Its human nurses, Carley and Nicholas Walker, actually brought the maimed marsupial along to greet Charles and Camilla as they arrived in the town of Longreach, Queensland, on their Diamond Jubilee tour.

Prince Charles and Camilla have spent the day in 104 degree heat in the Australian outback on the first day of their Australian tour, at the end of which Charles complained: "I'm so jet lagged I feel a few sausages short of a Barbie."

About 1,000 locals turned out to welcome the royal visitors, according to a blog being run of the visit by the local Brisbane Times.

The royals touched down by private jet just before 4pm local time, at the outback town of Longreach, where their first job was to watch watched a simulated emergency exercise or the Royal Flying Doctor service.

The Queen’s personal dresser of forty years, Angela Kelly, has published a book today detailing the Queen’s style secrets and lifting the lid on the inside story of the Queen’s role as a parachuting Bond girl during the Olympic Games opening ceremony.

Among the revelations are the facts that the Queen prefers to wear a 2-inch heel, only carries long-handled purses so they don’t catch on her cuff and has weights sewn into the hems of her dresses to avoid wardrobe malfunctions.

Kelly reveals that “months of preparation” went into the outfit worn by the monarch for the parachute jump with James Bond, but that even the Buckingham Palace dressmakers, “did not know why two dresses were required for the same event.”

The odd salmon color of the dress has also finally been explained: Kelly reveals that it had to be a shade not associated with any of the participating Olympic nations and says that its pleated skirt was an “important feature” that ensured the dress was identifiable as the Queen’s stunt-double jumped from the helicopter.

Christopher Howse is one of those writers I have always considered up there with Craig Brown when it comes to the briliantly funny skewering of vapid celeb culture, so what a guilty delight to read his review of Pippa's book in the Telegraph today.

Three choice extracts:

Pippa Middleton has “always loved to write”, indeed it is a “passion”, so it is sad that she has had to wait until the age of 29, four years older than Keats at his death, to achieve publication.

The globally recognised bottom hardly gets a look-in, making a half-hearted entrance on page 163, and exiting with another plate of canapés on page 164.

What is the point of this thick, colourful book, except as a sort of cultural tea bag for the American market? Who will rely on its recipes for cooking a turkey, a Victoria sandwich or a leg of lamb?

Caution: There's going to be lots of Prince Charles and Camilla on the Royalist for the next two weeks.

The royal couple are embarking on a two-week tour of Papua New Guinea, Australia and New Zealand, and we'll be keeping up with them every step of the way.

Camilla should be bright eyed and bushy tailed for the trip, as she is currently finishing off a week long stay at a $5,000 a night ayurvedic centre in India.

The Prince and Duchess are due to land in Port Moresby on Saturday night as part of the Diamond Jubilee celebrations. They will tour Port Moresby and the village of Boera, where locals are restoring coastal mangroves.

When Charles met this hairy biker yesterday as part of the UK's veteran's fund Poppy appeal, lets hope he didn't notice his badge (circled) which reads, 'F**k off, I don't like you."

Breaking news in the UK is that an investigation has been launched after a cop on duty guarding the home of William and Kate accidentally fired a gun, blowing a hole in the bottom of his squad car.

It's the latest humiliation in a series of embarrassing blunders by the royal protection squad, which has seen them pilloried for failing to protect Kate and Harry from being photographed naked.

Nobody was injured in the incident which happened in north Wales last week. Kate is believed to have been within earshot when the shot was fired, but William was on duty.

The Prince of Wales looked rather out of place today when he hopped aboard a leather-clad bikers low-rider in a double-breasted three-piece suit complete with his trademark pocket square.

He was supporting a drive to raise £1 million in a single day for the UK's veteran's fund which uses a poppy as its symbol when he stopped to joke with bikers from the Royal British Legion Riders Branch.

Maybe leave it to Harley-riding Harry next time, eh?

It's hard to decide which is the best bit of today's court action against a member of the Qatari Royal family  accused in court in London today of having left a trail of eye-watering debts alleged to total some $60m to auction houses around the world, having earlier this year bid for a valuable collection of ancient coins at auction in New York without ever paying up.

The vast sums of money involved? The fact the sheik's laywer denies any contract for sale exists at all?

Or maybe the fact that his lawyer says he has not run away from his debts in London, but simply returned to the middle east because Europe's getting a bit chilly.

Oh, to be a Qatari Royal!

Camilla Parker-Bowles has checked into an exclusive $5,550-a-night Indian ayurvedic centre, in a last-ditch effort to beat the sinusitis which has made her life a misery for several years.

Prince Charles is known to be a big fan of alternative healing methods, and doubtless supports his wife’s decision to stay at the exclusive ayurvedic resort, Soukya, in the state of Karnataka, which specialises in the notoriously tough ‘Panchakarma’ treatment which involves fasting and induced vomiting, although he is not with her on the trip.

Friends of the Royals tell the Royalist that Camilla is regularly badly affected by sinusits and is desperate to beat the chronic condition. Just last month she had to cancel an official engagement because her sinuses made it impossible for her to fly.

Camilla, accompanied by her daughter Laura Lopes and eight personal staff, touched down at Bengaluru International Airport on Saturday afternoon and was received by Ian Felton, the British Deputy High Commissioner in Bangalore, although Buckingham palace has been at pains to stress the trip is ‘private’ and paid for with her own cash.

The scandal of the paedophile children's TV presenter Jimmy Savile has now reached the Royals.

Savile cultivated relationships with senior royals after meeting Prince Charles in the 1970s, and was invited to visit St James's Palace on numerous occasions in the 1980s when he acted as a mediator between Charles and Diana. Charles led tributes to Savile when he died a year ago.

Today, Dickie Arbiter, who handled media relations for the Prince and Princess of Wales while spokesman for the Queen between 1988 and 2000, told the UK’s Guardian newspaper that Savile’s behaviour at St James' Palace was a cause for "concern and suspicion".

"He would walk into the office and do the rounds of the young ladies taking their hands and rubbing his lips all the way up their arms if they were wearing short sleeves," Arbiter said. "If it was summer [and their arms were bare] his bottom lip would curl out and he would run it up their arms. This was at St James's Palace. The women were in their mid to late 20s doing typing and secretarial work."