SURE NOT TARZAN

09.24.13

Meet Patrick, the Sexist Gorilla

He bites and sneers at female gorillas.

Patrick just wants his own space, OK? He’d like to sleep in the shade and run around in the grass without any females nagging him to clean up after himself or hint about when he’ll finally pop the question. Patrick is a 430-pound Western lowland gorilla. And he’s moving from the Dallas Zoo to a South Carolina zoo because he can’t get along with the lady gorillas. “It’s not like we haven't tried, he’s been here for 18 years,” Dallas Zoo spokeswoman Laurie Holloway says. When Patrick was around females, he’d bite and sneer at them. He gets along slightly better with male gorillas, but he’s still pretty antisocial, according to the zoo. When he gets to his South Carolina bachelor pad, he’ll undergo therapy and will gradually be introduced to the other animals.