“I know why you’re happy,” announced Bill Maher to thunderous applause. “We’re back from vacation and Trump is on his.”
Yes, the Real Time host returned to his HBO program after a month-long break—and following his much-criticized N-word episode—just as President Trump, who’s made 41 visits to golf clubs since his inauguration (which has cost taxpayers nearly $56 million), embarks on a 17-day vacation to his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey.
Trump’s lack of imagination aside—this is an alleged billionaire with a private jet and the Secret Service at his disposal who chose to vacation to New Jersey—Maher finds it absurd that the commander-in-chief is taking such a long break given how little he’s accomplished in office. What’s more, Trump criticized Obama in 2013 for taking a 17-day vacation while also throwing in a racist birther jab:
“Just the concept of a ‘Trump vacation,’” joked Maher during his monologue. “I mean, he spends all his time golfing, eating cake, watching TV, tweeting stupid shit. What’s a vacation for him? Lapsing into a coma?”
Later on in the stand-up routine, the comedian took shots at Trump for, according to all credible evidence, inventing two complimentary phone calls this past week—one from the head of the Boy Scouts, and one from Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto. Both parties allege that the calls never occurred.
“He had a very bad phone week,” offered Maher. “First of all, he claimed there were two calls that happened that plainly never happened—one with the head of the Boy Scouts. Oh, did you see that Boy Scout thing? That speech? That speech was the creepiest thing I have ever seen a Republican politician do to the Boy Scouts, and Dennis Hastert used to fuck them.”
“Trump claimed after that speech—which the Boy Scouts had to apologize for—he said the head of the Boy Scouts called him and said it was the greatest speech he’d ever heard, and then they got ahold of the head of the Boy Scouts and he said, ‘No. Never happened. Don’t have his number. Wouldn’t say that if I did.’ And then Trump said the President of Mexico called him to praise his immigration policies, they got ahold of the President of Mexico: ‘No. Not at all. We keep records. Ridiculous.’”
Toward the end of Real Time, Maher brought out a Barack Obama impersonator who he tasked with repeating some of the terrible things Trump has said—in order to demonstrate that if Obama said things this incendiary and/or gross, Republicans (and Fox News) would blow a gasket.
“Look, I don’t know the exact definition of ‘white privilege,’” said Maher. “But being able to talk about grabbing pussies and how big your dick is and still getting elected president? That’s gotta come close.”