Billie Eilish Thinks My Vagina Looks ‘Fucking Crazy’

Billie Eilish thinks my vagina looks “fucking crazy.”

In a new interview, the “Bad Guy” songstress confessed a porn addiction to Howard Stern (of all people). “I think porn is a disgrace. I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was, like, 11,” she said. “I am very upset that pornography is so loved. And I’m so mad at myself for thinking it was OK… The way vaginas look in porn is fucking crazy. No vagina looks like this.”

Eilish’s comments come amid a new war on porn. Mastercard refuses to process payments for legal porn sold on AVN Stars, and a unique alliance between Christians and so-called feminists attacks the legal, consenting adult community. Eilish is using her platform to further anti-porn hysteria. The anti-sex work organization NCOSE immediately seized on the pop star’s comments, issuing a press release applauding her “courage in speaking out about porn’s destructive influence.” And it makes my blood boil because Eilish is speaking from insecurity and projecting her own problems on a group of innocent—and marginalized—people.

Eilish’s stereotypes confuse me. I could understand if she said boobs look fake in porn (tons of adult stars get breast implants), but she’s accusing us of altering our vaginas. I have no idea what Eilish is saying. Before Eilish’s interview, I hadn’t heard of many vaginal alterations, so I took to the internet. Some doctors offer labiaplasty, labia fillers, and vaginal bleaching. I’m sure some girls sought these treatments, but none of my industry friends have altered their pussies, and we are the top girls in the business.

I don’t know what porn Eilish watched, but it must have been some crap where every girl’s pussy looked the same. My friends and I comprise a diverse group of vulvas. Some of us have large labia, some of us slim labia, some of us thick labia, some of us pink vulvas, some of us red. You could write a Dr. Seuss book about how different our vulvas look because porn offers a cornucopia of vulvas. If anything, porn shows how different vulvas can look.

But Eilish talks about porn as though every video and performer is the same, and our supposed uniformity caused her problems. Eilish reveals that porn taught her to refrain from communicating with male partners. “The first few times I had sex, I wasn’t saying no to things that weren’t good,” Eilish said. “It was because I thought that was what was supposed to attract me.”

I empathize with Eilish’s situation, and I feel sorry for anyone stuck in these types of scenarios, but it’s not the fault of porn. Blaming porn for a bad real-life sexual experience is like blaming violent video games for inspiring a school shooting. Does Eilish want to be blamed for every teen girl who wants to sleep with an older man because they heard Eilish sing, “I’m that bad type / Make your mama sad type / Make your girlfriend mad tight / Might seduce your dad type?”

Eilish is blaming an entire industry for a horrible situation that didn’t involve any porn stars. To a certain extent, I can’t blame Eilish. She thinks porn should teach her sex education because that’s an argument the mainstream press has made all year—and because sex education isn’t being properly taught to kids in school. Eilish repeats what she read, but what she’s read is wrong. Watching porn for sex ed is like learning karate from the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Porn is entertainment showing a fantasy. It’s not sexual PBS.

Instead of blaming porn, Eilish and others should blame their parents for letting them consume content inappropriate for minors. It’s called adult entertainment because we’re adults fucking on camera for other adults. No porn star wants kids watching their videos. We’re not the bad guys. Parents are. Instead of shitting on porn stars, Eilish should tell Stern, “I’m so sad my parents let me consume adult content at 11. They fucked me up by not protecting me.”