SMOOCHES

High-End Pervs Film Benedict Cumberbatch and Reese Witherspoon Sucking Face

The 9 Kisses shorts prove no matter how fancy you are, you can't escape the urge to watch two girls make out.

via The New York Times

For their "Great Performers" issue, the high end pervs over at the New York Times Magazine did what anyone with a modicum of power would do if given the opportunity: paired up a bunch of great actors and filmed them sucking each other's faces off. The very short shorts are terrifically imagined little scenes; each of the 18 actors delivers beautiful performances, and the resulting chemistry is ridiculously fun to watch. They're also proof that no matter how fancy you are, you can't escape the urge to watch two girls make out. Here are our favorite videos, selected through our trademarked Daily Beast algorithm AKA my extremely subjective hotness barometer.

Benedict Cumberbatch in a cape kisses the living daylights out of sexy Reese Witherspoon from space. In what looks like an outtake from the costume party of my literal dreams, Benedict Cumberbatch cheats on the Internet with a very lucky Reese. This scene also proves once and for all that the key to acting is just staring at the camera really, really hard.

Jenny Slate and Rosario Dawson make out at midnight because everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. In many ways, this is one of the best things that I've ever seen. That being said, it's sort of crazy that the two hot chicks end up sucking face for SO MUCH LONGER than any of the hetero couples. New York Times Magazine, we're calling you out.

Chadwick Boseman looking very sexy with a guitar and Kristen Stewart looking exactly like Kristen Stewart even though she is clearly supposed to look like a character aka someone else. But hey, at least she smiles, right? Rome wasn't built in a day.

David Oyelowo and Timothy Spall in the most homoerotic arm wrestling match since…every single arm wrestling match ever. Who knew that a competition where you clutch the hand of another man and lock eyes across a table could be this damn gay.

Julianne Moore and John Lithgow dance in a half empty club to weird ringtone muzak. Basically what your mom saw the last time she tripped.