Republicans Are Very Upset That ‘American Sniper’ Star Bradley Cooper Is at the DNC
The actor received an Oscar nod for his portrayal of the late sniper Chris Kyle, a right-wing icon, so his presence at the DNC irked some silly bastards who think movies are real.
“The first kind-of movie star we’re supposed to see is the guy from Duck Dynasty. Well, that’s great, but I mean, that’s not exactly Bradley Cooper.”
That was CBS News’s veteran political analyst Bob Schieffer last week deriding Donald Trump’s D-list RNC—an event that was initially sold to the American public as a super-classy, star-studded soiree (Tom Brady! Ben Roethlisberger!), but ended up more closely resembling an episode of The Surreal Life, with Scott Baio, Antonio Sabato Jr., and the aforementioned homophobic mouth-breather from Duck Dynasty serving as the celeb guests of honor.
So, when the DNC rolled into Philly with its dance card of Lena Dunham, America Ferrera, Alicia Keys, and our greatest living actor, Meryl fucking Streep, many Trumpsters had sour grapes, knocking the event for going Hollywood—despite the fact that the RNC desperately tried to attract A-listers and failed, Trump is a former reality star, Republican God Ronald Reagan an ex-Hollywood actor, you get the picture.
Enter Bradley Cooper. During Wednesday night’s edition of the DNC, the cameras constantly cut over to the hunky, Oscar-nominated actor—and his glorious hiatus-beard—seated next to his current girlfriend, Russian model Irina Shayk. Despite Trump’s terrifyingly close ties to her mother country, there was Shayk taking in the proceedings. But it wasn’t Shayk who Trumpsters took issue with—it was Cooper. Many Twitter users blasted the Hangover star (and Philadelphia native) after discovering that he is, in fact, a Democrat. The deluge of online vitriol made Cooper’s name one of the top trending topics on Twitter.
You see, many Republicans were under the impression that Bradley Cooper bled red because of his riveting turn as the late Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle in the blockbuster film American Sniper. Kyle, aka “The Devil of Ramadi,” is a conservative icon, and since the film was directed by none other than Clint Eastwood—you know, the fella who stole the show at the last RNC by talking to an empty chair—it stood to reason that Cooper was a Republican, too.
First off, kids: Movies are not real. TV shows aren’t, either. Bradley Cooper also played an anti-Semite who ends up in a body brace after trying to suck his own dick on Nip/Tuck, but I’d venture to guess this does not resemble the man IRL. Also, while not the most outspoken actor in the world when it comes to politics, Cooper is a longtime Democrat, having donated some shekels to Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign in 2008, and orchestrated POTUS’s Obamacare-promoting appearance on his pal Zach Galifianakis’s program Between Two Ferns.
There is, it should be noted, a degree of political bias in Hollywood. Stars on the right like Jon Voight, Clint Eastwood, and Gary Sinise often find themselves the subject of ridicule for their political beliefs, while other high-profile Republicans like Adam Sandler and Vince Vaughn rarely speak out because of it.
But Bradley Cooper—and that beard—is with her.