Seth Meyers did not pull any punches during his last Late Night before Thanksgiving.
“One thing we know about Trump is that his brain is basically a toxic waste dump with a bunch of trash and debris just floating around in there,” the host said. “And apparently, one particular piece of brain litter that got lodged in his skull recently is an insane and completely nonsensical idea that there are people who want to change the name of Thanksgiving.”
Meyers was of course talking about the president’s recent rants about the so-called “War on Thanksgiving,” which he said will not be changing names under his watch. “We could change it to ‘What the fuck are you talking about?’” the host suggested. “Because nobody wants to change the name of Thanksgiving.”
He went on to argue that as the impeachment inquiry continues to heat up, Trump and his allies have to “keep inventing insane new paranoid conspiracy theories to whip up their base and keep them in line.” First it was the “War on Christmas,” now the “War on Thanksgiving,” next Meyers predicted that Trump would be saying, “The Democrats don’t want to use the term ‘Halloween,’ folks. They want to change it to ‘All Gourds Day’ and we’re not gonna let ‘em.”
“Now you will not be surprised to learn that this dumb idea, like most of Trump’s dumb ideas, originated on Fox News,” Meyers continued, explaining how the “War on Thanksgiving” moved from Fox’s The Five, to Trump’s recent rally and then back to Fox & Friends, which covered it again Wednesday morning.
“There is no ‘War on Thanksgiving!’” he reiterated. “The only war on Thanksgiving is the war between sane people and racist uncles who think there’s a ‘War on Thanksgiving.’”
Moving on to impeachment, Meyers noted that given the House Democrats’ current timeline, Trump “could actually be impeached in time for Christmas.”
“I mean, in a way, it’s the one promise he’s actually kept,” Meyers added. “Because remember, he did say, ‘You’ll be saying Merry Christmas again.’ See? He’s right!”