10.19.10

The Quaids’ Guide to the Fugitive Life

Fugitive couple Randy and Evi Quaid failed to show up at their arraignment on Monday,  and have now been arrested in Vancouver on immigration violations. See a timeline of their hare-brained schemes—including sticking credit cards to their foreheads—and assorted misdemeanors.

Sept. 24, 2009: Randy and Evi Quaid would appear to be less than ideal hotel guests. News breaks that police are after the couple, who reportedly skipped out on a bill of more than $10,000 at the five-star San Ysidro Ranch hotel in California near Santa Barbara. According to a source via RadarOnline, they were notified that their credit card had been declined but continued to make charges to their room before leaving the hotel, with payment outstanding. The Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department issues a felony arrest warrant for each of them for allegedly defrauding the innkeeper and burglary and conspiracy as well because, according to TMZ’s sources, they rented the room with no intention of paying.

Sept. 24, 2009: Just a few hours after reports of the warrants surface, the Quaids are arrested in Marfa, Texas—but it is not an easy process. Presidio County sheriff’s deputies who pick up the couple say Evi verbally and physically assaulted the officers and resisted arrest, according to TMZ. But there appear to be no hard feelings. The sheriff is kind enough to drive the couple to an ATM so they can post bail, set at $20,000, and get out of there—but of course, not before Evi and Randy ham it up for their mug shots.

Sept. 25, 2009: The following day, the couple issue a statement to TMZ with a copy of the cashier’s check to San Ysidro Ranch, saying, "The name of our judge was Cinderella, and we plan to have a yearly reunion with all involved…It was a fabulous arrest." But perhaps Evi does not share in those feelings of fabulousness. She paints a sign on the side of a truck—which she parks outside the Marfa mayor’s office—that reads, "Deputy James Davis takes payments…call + make offers."

Sept. 28, 2009: Just days after Evi makes her thoughts on Deputy Davis loud and clear, the sign mysteriously burns down, TMZ reports. The couple leaves the Texas town before the blaze and as far as we know, the mysterious arson remains unsolved. But weeks later, Davis does file a lawsuit against Evi for defamation. In November, however, Davis is fired for an "undisclosed reason," RadarOnline reports exclusively.

Sept. 30, 2009: After resisting arrest, making friends in the clink, and graffiting the side of a truck, Evi and Randy claim the whole hotel bill stiffing is a giant misunderstanding. The Quaids’ lawyer reportedly says they thought they could pay their bill after checking out and that it got lost in the mail because they moved. The following day, the outstanding charges are fully paid to San Ysidro Ranch. But the fight is not over.

Oct. 19, 2009: With their lawyer quitting three days before their arraignment, according to RadarOnline, the Quaids are no-shows in court, leading to a potential extradition from Texas.

Oct. 31, 2009: She may not have had time to make it to court, but Evi reportedly sends disturbing nude and explicit photos of herself to a Seattle newspaper editor with an email saying, "Here is my German stuff."

Nov. 2, 2009: The couple fails to show up in court for the fourth time.

Nov. 6, 2009: The Quaids’ refuge in Texas is endangered when Marfa’s mayor reveals to RadarOnline that the town is threatening to file charges against the couple for constructing a building in the middle of town without proper permits. The couple is reportedly hoping to open a museum in Randy’s honor.

Dec. 15, 2009: After their fifth missed court appearance, the Santa Barbara judge in their criminal case issues an arrest warrant and sets bail at $40,000 each.

Dec. 19-20, 2009: Randy and Evi are arrested in Marfa, Texas, RadarOnline reports exclusively.

Dec. 22, 2009: Randy and Evi—including the former’s ever-growing beard—finally show up in a Santa Barbara courtroom, where they plead not guilty. When RadarOnline asks what their Christmas plans are, Randy jokes, "Stay out of jail, hopefully" while Evi walks beside him with a "valid credit card" affixed to her forehead.

March 1, 2010: New year, new Quaids. The couple does make it to court on the first day of March, but Randy’s facial hair is a no-show. What he lacks in furriness, however, he makes up for in gold—the actor brings along his 1998 Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Miniseries or Television Film for LBJ: The Early Years to the courthouse. Attempting to understand why seems fruitless.

April 12, 2010: The Quaids fail to show up to court…again. A judge issues them each a warrant without bail, according to RadarOnline.

April 23, 2010: With their case becoming quite tired and tame, Randy seems to feel the need to shake things up. The actor files a lawsuit against his supposed business manager and lawyer, Lloyd Braun—who also ran an entertainment website—claiming he capitalized on his friendship with the couple for his own financial benefit by posting stories about them on the site. Braun’s attorney tells TMZ, "The alleged facts are palpably untrue."

April 26, 2010: After finally making it to court, the Quaids decide that silver handcuffs are so September 2009. The couple jazz things with two pairs of pink handcuffs for their court hearing, but their efforts to bring some fun to their legal strife does not entirely pay off. Evi is placed on probation after pleading "no contest" to defrauding an innkeeper and is forced to perform 240 hours of community service, according to RadarOnline. Randy, seemingly the prettier of the two in pink, is let off the hook when prosecutors drop the charges against him.

Aug. 23, 2010: Four months without a court appearance does not sit well with Randy, apparently—he decides to file a lawsuit against his financial advisers and his bank, whom, he claimed, conspired to steal his multimillion-dollar fortune. Because he no longer trusts his lawyer (see April 23, 2010), the actor decides to represent himself in the suit, claiming he lost more than $10 million after his advisers forged his signature on real-estate loans that he "did not need or want," TMZ reports. He also alleges that his advisers stole some of his paychecks—including the $600,000 he earned for Brokeback Mountain.

Sept. 19, 2010: Squatting was fun while it lasted for Randy and Evi. A Santa Barbara property owner calls the police on them in September, accusing the couple of living in their former home illegally. The Quaids had trouble parting with the place—Randy carved his initials in the mailbox and the two allegedly hung photos of themselves over the fireplace, breaking a $7,000 mirror in the process, according to TMZ. The couple is arrested on charges of felony residential burglary and the misdemeanor of entering a noncommercial building without consent. Evi, ever eager to one up her husband, receives an additional charge or resisting arrest yet again when Animal Control comes to take the Quaids’ dog, Doji. They are released after posting $50,000 bail.

Sept. 21, 2010: In an early Halloween celebration, Randy and Evi are caught in a fraudulent corpse conspiracy—or so they claim. The couple say they were targeted in the property owner’s scheme to steal their home using the forged signature of dead woman, Ronda Quaid, in 1992 in an effort to transfer ownership to a third party. Randy tells TMZ in the aftermath, "If you don’t stick up for what’s yours and defend what’s yours, then what are you?" Evi, on the other hand, is all about nature—she tells the site’s cameraman she hopes to reclaim her garden and "water the roses."

Oct. 18, 2010: Once again, the Quaids don’t seem too keen on defending what’s theirs, as they fail to show up to a court hearing for their felony burglary charge. The Santa Barbara DA’s office issues a $50,000 warrant for the arrest of each of them, FoxNews reports Tuesday.

Oct. 26, 2010: The Quaids are scheduled to appear in court—whether they make it, and what color handcuffs they’ll be wearing, remains to be seen.

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