Fallon’s Press Junk-et
Jimmy Fallon put his SNL skills to use while impersonating Weiner in a faux press conference. During the sketch, the would-be Weiner apologized to "those who I care about most," but his sincerest apologies went to his huge and hard-working “staff.” Unlike the actual congressman, Fallon nailed it.
A Weinergate Game Show
David Letterman introduced a new segment called "What's in Anthony Weiner's Underpants?" on the Late Show. Last night's answer was contact solution, but it’s anyone’s guess what the country’s most controversial pair of boxer-briefs will reveal tonight. Move over Top 10 list—this might be Letterman’s best new bit.
What's in a Name?
While other late-night talk-show hosts were having a field day with Weinergate Monday night, Jimmy Kimmel Live! didn't air due to a primetime NBA game. So instead, Kimmel kept the Weiner jokes coming Tuesday. One of his most pressing questions was how to prevent future political sex scandals—be warned Congressman Dicks.
Trump to Weiner: You're Fired, Psycho
A story isn't a story until Donald Trump weighs in on it. Luckily, the Donald recently posted a video decrying Weiner's actions and calling him a "psycho." As if those words weren't harsh enough, Trump punctuated his thoughts by telling the shamed politician that he clearly "has a death wish." Guess Weiner won't be invited on to The Celebrity Apprentice any time soon.
Conan Will Hide Your Junk
Some say the problem isn't with sending photos of your nether regions, the real problem is when people can identify them. The folks over at Conan have found a way to remedy that, with this ad featuring an assortment of phallic disguises. Alas, this video came out too late in Weinergate for a certain member of Congress to hide his own member.
Jon Stewart Bleeds For Comedy
Being funny is dangerous work. While taping a Daily Show sketch Tuesday, Jon Stewart cut himself on some glass used in a Weiner spoof that involved a blender. Despite blood running down his arm, Stewart powered through, even holding a towel to his injury while he finished collecting some laughs at the congressman's expense.
Schwarzenegger's ‘Best Week Ever’
There’s at least one philandering politico benefitting from Weinergate: Arnold Schwarzenegger. The former governor’s love child and impending divorce became old news when the Twitter photo of the world’s most controversial pair of gray underpants surfaced last week. As Jimmy Fallon points out, Schwarzenegger must be thanking Anthony's wienerschnitzel right now.
Kathy Lee Has a Bone to Pick
Sometimes Weiner puns are simply unavoidable. Today show hosts Kathy Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb weren’t about to let a good innuendo pass them by. Kotb let one slip when discussing Kathy's frustrations with Weiner, when she said to throw her a “bone.” We can always count on the wine-swilling hosts for some “mind in the gutter” action.
Ripa and Weiner: Bosom Buddies?
Setting an all new low in self-deprecating humor: When Kelly Ripa dissected the chest shot of Weiner, she had no qualms about the similarities between the congressman’s ripped pecs and her own chest. The first thought that came to the physically fit Live! host’s mind? “When I first saw this photo, I was like, ‘is that me?’” she told a shocked Regis Philbin.
A Proud Day to Be a Journalist
One day in the future, your grandchildren may wonder where you were when Anthony Weiner fessed up to his crotch shot—at least that’s what Stephen Colbert thinks. The host said he relished the chaos that ensued during Monday’s emergency press conference, thanks to his career of pursuing the truth. “The truth came out… like a dolphin wiggling free of a blanket,” Colbert quipped.
Adventures in Sexting
Bringing a whole definition to “junk email”: Jay Leno demonstrated what could be the next chapter in Weiner’s sexting and social-media escapades. In his opening Tonight Show monologue, the host said he forgot to turn his cellphone off before taking the stage, just in time to receive his very own faux-message from the congressman. Leno held up a video of the would-be Weiner dancing in his underpants for the audience to see. Crotch photos are already so passé.
Ferguson Wants More Weiner
Following in Colbert’s footsteps, Craig Ferguson nearly jumped up and down for joy when he talked about Weiner’s press conference. “I couldn’t sleep last night! I said, ‘Ohh, I’m going to see that Weiner tomorrow,’” the host said. However, Ferguson did make one sad admission about the scandal. Alas, we will never have a President Weiner, “which seems a shame, really,” he added.
Unloading on Weiner’s Chest
Jon Stewart just went there. As Weinergate unfolds, comedians and pundits have upped the ante in their reactions. Naturally, Stewart—who’s arguably been having the most fun of all with the scandal—found a way to outdo himself. The Daily Show host finally revealed what lives deep inside Weiner’s cavernous pecs: James Franco. Are there any double entendres that haven’t been used yet?
The Onion Apologizes in Advance
Bringing together the perfect union of Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s hotel assault and Weiner’s social-media trysts, The Onion held a press conference where a fictional congressman confessed his affair before it actually happened. “It hurts me more than you will ever know that this scandal I’m running late to will impact your life so terribly,” the fake politico said. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
Should Weiner Resign?
Elizabeth Hasselbeck had some fightin’ words for the embattled congressman. The View co-host said she thinks Weiner should resign. “I don’t care what you do on your own time. The fact that you lied to the American people for a week… You knew that was you,” she said. If the fear of getting caught isn’t enough for would-be tweeters and cheaters, behold the wrath of Hasselbeck scorned.