Whether you prefer Guy Lombardo, Dick Clark, or Ryan Seacrest, it just wouldn’t be New Year’s Eve without “Auld Lang Syne.” Alas, the Jewish New Year has never had a proper anthem. But as Jews around the world prepare to celebrate Rosh Hashanah, a few contenders have emerged among the countless Jewish parody songs of Top 40 hits. The phenomenon—which dates back at least 20 years to those old shul rappers, Two Live Jews, if not to the great parodist Tom Lehrer, who wrote “(I’m Spending) Hanukkah in Santa Monica” long before Adam Sandler ever thought to rhyme those words—follows a simple but effective formula: shpritz in a few Yiddish phrases, Jewish name-drop, make a pork joke, add some bearded dancers (or shiksas), and in no time you’ll have “All I Want for Christmas … Is Jews” or “Kosher Face” or “Jewish State of Mind.”
Are these parodies worthy of being played beyond 5772? Jew decide.