The Young Get Rude

Some things are too strange for fiction. Others are too funny for Canada.

My wife, who edits the blogs for Huffington Post Canada, has detonated a spasm of Canadian outrage ("Small spasm of outrage in Canada, not many hurt") by posting an item today under the admittedly provocative headline: "Stop Whining Grandpa and Get Back to Work":

All those times you told us about how everything you did—the back-breaking work, going without fancy clothes and cars, etc.—was so we could have a better future? Well, turns out the future's going to suck. Thanks for that.

I'd remind old folks that us younger people will be the ones taking care of your drooling shells as you inevitably fall victim to Father Time. Don't piss us off with your complaining, or we might just throw you in one of those nursing homes you made us swear we'd never send you to. Instead of leaving us in even bigger debt so you can have one of those stair-escalator contraptions in your house, why not save up the money with two years of extra work? Money doesn't grow on trees, you know.

You always tried to teach us about the value of work—that working hard is its own reward, that it would keep us honest and make us better, smarter people. We listened to you, and now we're slaving away, often at jobs we can't stand and with people we loathe. Did you take work calls and answer work emails on the weekends? Didn't think so.

There's actually a serious and true argument here, and oldsters (those of us who are soon-to-be-oldsters) will soon be hearing it more and more often. Better get used to it early.