Politics

07.26.12

The Alternative Universe Where Mitt Romney Is A Cool Guy

That is, the Fox News web site. I love to visit Fox when things like Romney's London disaster happen. Here are the big stories of the day right now, when everyone else in the English-speaking world is bannering Romney's idiocy:

1. Some story on how city officials sanctioning Chick-Fil-A are on shaky ground (defending homophobia).

2. Obama pushing assault-weapons ban, Harry Reid not buying (Obama emasculated even by a Dem).

3. Greenland not actually melting (tree huggers lying, ruining America).

4. Search for remains of missing girl (okay--search for remains of missing girl).

That's the home page. Go to the "Politics" page, and the Romney cock-up, as the Brits say, isn't even there. There, we have a story about a congressional investigation into some Army problem, and a "study" showing that America has lost 200,000 small businesses (thanks to the business-hater, natch).

Oh wait, look! Over here on the right, there's a picture...small...but it looks like...yes, Romney shaking hands with David Cameron! Headline: Power Play. I kid you not. Click through and you learn that "Romney builds ties with Britain."

This is really is like Tass or something. The crops yields are the highest ever, comrade. The Stakhanovite people of Fox are America's most industrious! Romney builds ties!

The only better time to go to the Fox site is when something racial happens, but unfortunately, they seemed to have figured that they attract savage racists like rotting flesh draws maggots, so they now ofte shut those threads down.

Meanwhile. Is Romney stupid or just out of it? Or vain? Bad advance work, too, on the "Mr. Leader" and the MI6 errors. But the big mistake was his alone, and I really would love to know the psychology behind insulting an entire people.

WAIT! Just as I'm finishing this post, they subbed out Greenland with: "Romney, Cameron Engage in Olympic Games Tiff." Not "Romney Insults Britain." But at least the story's existence is acknowledged.

This is going to explode tomorrow, when the British papers hit. What fun the tabloids will have with their headlines. And on the day of the opening ceremony, which millions of Americans will be watching, undoubtedly hearing about Romney's diplomatic exploits. Incredible.